Melodifestivalen 2012 Trailer: We Translate All the Nasty for You! 0
We may still be two weeks away from the first semi-final in Växjö, but things are already heating up in frosty Sweden. That’s because SVT has released a sneak preview of this year’s Melodifestivalen…and it is HOT!
According to Marketing Director Lotta Lootsme, this year’s trailer was made with love and humour. “The trailer plays with Melodifestivalen cliches: wind machines, costume changes, glitter and uproar. It’s a little crazy…” Our play-by-play follows the 30-second clip.
WATCH:
0:01 Christer Björkman, Melodifestivalen Supervisor and a former winner (1992), takes centre stage and declares, “Melodifestivalen…Yep, we know exactly what you want.”
0:04 Andreas Lundstedt, a former Alcazar member who is openly HIV-positive, flexes his muscles and pulls out a wind machine.
0:07 Two-time winner and suspected tranny Charlotte Perrelli appears, and breathes a sigh of relief when she shakes her hair and her wig does not blow off.
0:11 Andreas Lundstedt gets jealous of Perrelli’s proximity to hottie Björkman and makes the wind blow. Perrelli’s penis (we know you is a tranny!) does not fly out, while Björkman declares that the competition is starting again.
0:15 Björkman declares that he, of course, will be sewing all of the contestants’ clothes himself, as Love Generation’s Bennetton girls try them on. Loreen falls prey to Björkmans needle, and we ain’t talking about the nasty kind (unfortunately).
0:18 Perhaps jealous that Perrelli has mastered being a tranny, Björkman camps it up in trashy drag.
0:21 While Björkman promises that the acts in-between contestants will be amazing, Danny appears shirtless. It’s so hot that the glass breaks. Stinging revenge for Saucedo, and masturbation fodder for the rest of us. Two birds, one stone!!!
0:25 The homoerotic and campy trailer turns flaming, as Björkman walks toward the camera with fires galore in the background.
