San Marino: Valentina Monetta Releases “Facebook Uh, Oh, Oh” 17
Valentina Monetta has released “Facebook, Uh, Oh, Oh”—and it may very well be the worst Eurovision entry of all time. SMRTV—San Marino’s state broadcaster—unveiled the song during a special presentation show this evening. Surely the folks at Betfair are scratching their heads and regretting that they ranked this song as the second most likely to win the first semi-final—before even hearing it—on March 13. We don’t know who tipped them off….but they were wrong.
Anyway, the song tells the very loose story of a girl who becomes addicted to Facebook but gives it up because she is having too much cybersex. I’m not kidding. Read the lyrics and watch the video below. I can’t help but feel bad for Valentina. Who told her this was a good idea? Why would she ask, “Do you wanna play cyber sex again?” And then there’s that ridiculous rhyme: “So you wanna make love with me? Am I really your cup of tea?”
Update on March 16 at 11:45pm GMT: After the release of this video, San Marino dropped from second to 15th in the Betfair table for the first semi-final. Odds have widened to 49/1 from a low of 2/1.
WATCH:
“Facebook Uh, Oh, Oh” Lyrics
Oooooo, Ooo Ooooo
I like it
Are you ready for a little chat?
And a song about the Internet
It’s the story of a social door
You’ve never seen before
If you want to be seen by everyone
Wanna be in the dream and have some fun
If you wanna be on the hook
Simply take a look
Facebook Uh, oh, oh
Everybody loves you so
Facebook Uh, oh, oh
Everybody that you know
Do you wanna be more than just a friend?
Do you wanna play cyber-sex again?
If you wanna come to my house
Then click me with your mouse
Facebook Uh, oh, oh
Everybody loves you so
You’re logging in
Then it begins
And your computer is swinging
And taking your time away
The sin is right
For a socialite
Now you’re on Facebook
Anywhere, anytime, night and day
Facebook Uh, oh, oh,
Everybody loves you so
Uh, oh, oh, oh
Never gonna let you go
So you wanna make love with me?
Am I really your cup of tea?
Are you really the one
That you
[incomprehensible]
Facebook, Uh, oh, oh
Everybody loves you so
Oo, oo, uh oh,
Never gonna let you go
You’re logging in
With just a friend
But soon Mark Zuckerberg’s hammerin’
Clamouring around the bend
We use to greet
Friends on the street
But now it’s Googling, giggling, gaggling right for me
Facebook, uh, oh, oh
How about a little chat?
Facebook, uh, oh, oh
Meet you on the Internet!
Do you really like politics?
When I talk about voodoo tricks
Are you really a sex-machine?
Or just a beauty queen?
Everybody is better than before
Everybody is calling out for more
Everybody is cybering,
Knocking on your door
Facebook, uh, oh, oh
Everybody loves a show
Ooo ooo oh oh
If you like it click and go
Do you know that it’s instant loggin in
For the rhythm and finding cyber sin.
Wanna find out what this books about?
Then how bout press log out?
Facebook
Now I’ve got a million friends
Goodbye Facebook fans
This is how the story ends
The Wiwi Jury Reviews San Marino's Valentina Monetta with "The Social Network" | WiwiBloggs.Com
May 16, 2012 @ 09:13:05
[...] When I saw the official video for the original version of this song, I laughed and cried and laughed again. First of all, the [...]
"The Social Network Song" Lyrics — Valentina Monetta (San Marino, Eurovision 2012) | WiwiBloggs.Com
Mar 22, 2012 @ 21:46:42
[...] debuting “Facebook Uh, Oh, Oh” last Saturday, Valentina Monetta quickly listened as the emphasis shifted to the “uh, [...]
San Marino's 'Facebook' Song Banned from Eurovision Over Lyrics Controversy | NewsFeed | TIME.com
Mar 19, 2012 @ 18:31:16
[...] addicted to social media, and in doing so repeats the word “Facebook” 11 times. The lyrics explain how the character compulsively logs on to Facebook, and how it has driven her into some [...]
Ralph Siegel für San Marino – Niveaulimbo von einem anderen Stern | Spiegel Offline
Mar 19, 2012 @ 15:25:00
[...] ganzen meisterhaft schlechten Text gibt’s hier. Blöd nur, dass die Leute vom Eurovision Song Contest keine Texte mit kommerziellen Inhalten [...]
Mar 19, 2012 @ 07:36:07
This was meant for Junior Eurovision of course
Another nail in the coffin for Eurovision
Mar 18, 2012 @ 19:40:58
Song for children -hey people Eurosong not jokes
San Marino's "Facebook, Uh, Oh, Oh" Disqualified from ESC 2012 | WiwiBloggs.Com
Mar 18, 2012 @ 19:06:34
[...] song, which tells the story of a girl addicted to Facebook, refers to the social networking site eleven times. An EBU reference group concluded that the repetition of the Facebook name amounted to a violation [...]
Mar 18, 2012 @ 02:45:57
And, according to Wikipedia, Ralph Siegel didn’t write a single word from the lyrics, he just composed the music (which is, as I said, at least acceptable). Timothy Touchton and Jose Santana Rodriguez are the ones to blame for this monstrosity.
Mar 18, 2012 @ 02:44:05
The worst part of this is that the melody is actually good. Simple but not cheap, and kinda sticky. If they changed the lyrics (I suggest “party, uh, oh, oh”), it would become a pretty good act.
Mar 17, 2012 @ 11:44:28
my 5 year old sister can write a better lyrics than this… im in shock. so stupid lyrics, i will try to write more when im out of shock. this is a fu.king commercial for facebook, and its not even a good commercial. Montenegro should win this year, only because his song is talking against eurovision, against these kind of stupid songs.
Mar 17, 2012 @ 11:39:18
Its not voodoo tricks, its dirty tricks.
And it’s not “everybody in cybering” but “everybody in cyberville”
At least it sounds like that to me
And the incomprehensible line might be something with “remember”?
Mar 17, 2012 @ 11:38:33
I kinda like this song. So curious how the people at Eurovision in Concert react on this!
Mar 17, 2012 @ 02:10:25
Now, THIS is the trolling I like, and not the Mad Show Boys. They could as well be sending Rebecca Black.
Mar 16, 2012 @ 23:54:01
WOW. WOW. WOW. I actually kind of like it because it is SOOOO BAAAAADDDD. HAHAHA.
Mar 16, 2012 @ 23:48:57
I think this is an awful song. It’s actually very, very bad. Zero points.
Mar 16, 2012 @ 23:41:27
I can’t get that one line either, but I think you have some of the lyrics wrong.
For a start, it’s “social door”, not “social doer”. It’s “Do you wanna play cyber-sex again?”, not cybersexican. And at the end she sings “Now I’ve got a million friends” not “find real friends”.
The bit about “Am I really your cup of tea” is a very common expression in British English… if someone is their cup of tea, they get on well.
The song isn’t great, but it’s not as bad as you’re making out. However, I expect it will fall foul of the EBU regs.
*************************
Oooooo, Ooo Ooooo
I like it
Are you ready for a little chat?
And a song about the Internet
It’s the story of a social door
You’ve never seen before
If you want to be seen by everyone
Wanna be in the dream and have some fun
If you wanna be on the hook
Simply take a look
Facebook Uh, oh, oh
Everybody loves you so
Facebook Uh, oh, oh
Everybody that you know
Do you wanna be more than just a friend?
Do you wanna play cyber-sex again?
If you wanna come to my house
Then click me with your mouse
Facebook Uh, oh, oh
Everybody loves you so
You’re logging in
Then it begins
And your computer is swinging
And taking your time away
The sin is right
For a socialite
Now you’re on Facebook
Anywhere, anytime, night and day
Facebook Uh, oh, oh,
Everybody loves you so
Uh, oh, oh, oh
Never gonna let you go
So you wanna make love with me?
Am I really your cup of tea?
Are you really the one
That you
[NO IDEA!]
Facebook, Uh, oh, oh
Everybody loves you so
Oo, oo, uh oh,
Never gonna let you go
You’re logging in
With just a friend
But soon Mark Zuckerberg’s hammerin’
Clamouring around the bend
We use to greet
Friends on the street
But now it’s Googling, giggling, gaggling right for me
Facebook, uh, oh, oh
How about a little chat?
Facebook, uh, oh, oh
Meet you on the Internet!
Do you really like politics?
When I talk about voodoo tricks
Are you really a sex-machine?
Or just a beauty queen?
Everybody is better than before
Everybody is calling out for more
Everybody is cybering,
Knocking on your door
Facebook, uh, oh, oh
Everybody loves a show
Ooo ooo oh oh
If you like it click and go
Do you know that it’s instant loggin in
For the rhythm and finding cyber sin.
Wanna find out what this books about?
Then how bout press log out?
Facebook
Now I’ve got a million friends
Goodbye Facebook fans
This is how the story ends
Mar 16, 2012 @ 23:06:08
- Valentina is not that young. She is 37
- betfair is not a bookie but a bet exchange. The odds were so low, because nobody layed it. Betting volume zero.
- it is not the worst ESC entry ever