Today the Wiwi Jury heads to Brussels to review Iris’ ESC 2012 entry “Would You?” Would we what? Give this a good score? Or put young Iris on mute? Read on to hear the critics’ answer…


Wiwi: Iris—Belgium’s 17-year old contestant for Eurovision 2012—seems to have a problem with men. Early in her song “Would You?” she asks, “What would you do when my house was empty?” There are several possible answers. Her psycho boyfriend could have had sex in her bed with another woman; emptied her liquor cabinet; taken photos of himself wearing her underwear; or done all of these things over the course of a long weekend. Regardless, why does a 17-year old have her own house? And why do her parents let her roll with these crazies?

We never get an answer, and that’s part of the problem with “Would You?” The lyrics start to tell a story: Iris has moved away and is willing to settle for any man, and wonders if her ex lives up to her apparently low standards. “My life in a bag and away from you/ You took my love for granted, would you really miss me?/ Any other guy would do, but would you?”

Given that she’s headed to Eurovision, she should really be questioning the merits of her song. It’s bland, boring, dull, and—like greasy Chinese food—leaves Wiwi craving something with more substance. She looks like a sweet girl, and she obviously has a good voice. But even if you spray perfume on poo it still stinks. Sorry Belgium. No final for you in 2012.

Score: 2/10

Belgium's Iris needs a new man. Would you do?

Vebooboo: OK, before we get to the song, can I just say this girl has the most awkward posture and movements throughout. I sure as hell ain’t signing up to be her dance partner at Wednesday salsa class any time soon! But back to the song…OK, good voice, but this song really never goes anywhere.  She asks the question “Would you…?” and I feel like we never get the answer.

Score: 3/10

Meows Kitty: I don’t know which one would score higher on the bore-o-meter: Azerbaijian or Belgium. Actually, I’d probably go with this one. This is a cheesy 90s pop ballad and her vocals are average at best. And I don’t like the way she keeps squatting while singing…is she trying to take a dump? Sorry, Belgium.

Score: 4/10

Deban: If you haven’t got the stage presence of Anna Vissi (Greek Entry 2006), please avoid being on such a big stage alone. Personality and charisma aside, this is a decent entry. Iris sings with a lot of conviction, her vocal delivery is clear and has impact. However, she lacks the much needed star-quality that is necessary to elevate this song from the realm of karaoke. She is only 17,though, and unlike Jedward, she remains gimmick-free.

“Would You?” has a lot of potential. Re-working the staging for Baku would determine how far this track goes. The Belgians are aware of this, I’m sure. Fed up with democratic selection processes, they handpicked this starlet who is reminiscent of Sandra Kim for her youth. Clearly they hope to replicate their 1986 victory. Also, they’ve opted for the simplicity of Tom Dice’s 2010 performance. That was the first year ever that Belgium topped the jury vote.

Back to Baku: this is a weak year. Thus, it should come as no surprise if this entry creeps into the left side of the final scoreboard.

Score: 5/10

The Wiwi Jury Verdict: 3.5/10

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[…] do a good job de-frosting her. She left audiences chilly with her incredibly bland number “Would You?” and finished a disappointing 17th in the first semi-final. Given the lack of Belgian talent—or […]

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[…] Belgium: Iris with “Would You?” […]

Christian
Guest

Cheesy? Maybe but it is nice to my ears and if she can get her vocal delivery right it will get even better

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[…] video of her first rehearsal below. But I’m not convinced that the rather uneventful song “Would You?” will have any chance of advancing. To Belgium’s credit, I do like the LED forests in the […]

Neil
Guest

Clearly inexperienced – age has nothing to do with it as there are younger and older artists who do better, in terms of movement and use of the stage. Her team will have to do some big changes in her dress and stage background before she showcases in the contest. As for the lyrics – I am not sure if the public pays a great deal of attention on the first take, they look at the whole package initially.

MoMo
Guest

Avril Lavigne in Katy Perry’s body with Mandy Moore’s pre-popstar-stint wardrobe.
And what is up with the constant squatting? Damn girl.
Very 90s teen pop. Could be a random song on the soundtrack for a high school flick. You say she’s 17? Has she heard of Jedward?

Zolan
Guest
Lyrics appeal to us as fantasy. Even when true, they present a perspective so purified of unwanted complications that they become unreal. And singing is roleplaying in the same way, so we expect the singer to perform in character. The only thing that gets me about these lyrics is “Any other guy would [miss me].” Does that not strike anyone else as a tad conceited? Iris has the perfect mix of vocal qualities for this song; a bit fragile, but also strong when required. The performance however is so problematic that we have to regard it as no more than… Read more »
Richard
Guest

This falls into the “It’s not bad” category but I had to listen again before judging this as it is also one of the most unremarkable songs in the contest as well.

Might get a few points on the scoreboard but the final may seem a long way off.

Francisco
Guest

Hmmm, I have to agree with Deban and MF, this is a very decent song, I do think you’re being too bitchy, the lyrics may not be anything to write home about, but she really sings them with heart, and let me say, with flair. Is it good enough to pull the points? well, judging from the mediocrity we have seen so far, I think so. It is certainly not a winner, but a very nice runner-up

MF
Guest

I can’t believe the day has come when I agree with Deban…The rest of you guys are too tough on her. She’s young and a bit rigid, still the song is OK and her voice is great. Who cares about the lyrics anyway, there is no poetry contest here. If you want better lyrics listen to Sting in Family Guy – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNP0d29JZpQ&feature=related

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[…] “This Is the Night (3.75) 21. Montenegro: Rambo Amadeus with “Euro Neuro” (3.75) 23. Belgium: Iris with “Would You?” (3.5) 24. Latvia: Anmary with “Beautiful Song” (2) 25. […]