Today the Wiwi Jury—our in-house panel of music un-professionals—traveled to Helsinki for some smoked fish and a side of Krista Siegfrids. Did we take “Marry Me” as our bride? Or did we leave it at the altar? Read our reviews below to find out.
HK Dick: Looking like a second-rate Sarah Jessica Parker waiting for her Mr Big, Krista gets down on her hands and knees and begs to be taken up the aisle. With lines including “I’m your slave and you’re my master”, I imagine she is no virgin bride but this song is definitely…fun! Will I take this song and dance to it forever more? I DO!
Deban: Totally gimmicky. Totally eliminates those with liberal views. Totally eliminates those who don’t share brains with 12-year-old girls. Sorry Krista, Eurovision has moved on. This isn’t a time travel contest. If you’re going to do a pastiche of Madonna’s Like A Virgin, get your timing right. Byebye Eurovision 1985; 2013 is about leaping forward. Now the scores. One point for corresponding wardrobe (even though it screams lack of originality). Another for clear and well-pitched vocals (even though it’s a bad song). Music experts should stop this from advancing to the finals. Having said all that, Russia peaked in second position last year and were tipped to win…
Mr Häggkvist: This is pretty fun. I admit that I was pretty disappointed with the Finnish decision to send Krista to Malmö. But in the end I think this “Rocker Psycho Bride” should make the final. I cannot hate the “Marry Me, I’ll be your Queen Bee”…
Alexander: I can understand why some people would like the Finnish entry, as it’s up-beat and somewhat catchy. But I find it really annoying. It reminds me of a cheap American jingle that would be used in a cell phone ad! The song is immature and childish, and the wedding dress that Krista wears is incredibly tacky. However, this entry isn’t a total disaster: some of the lyrics are clever and Krista performs the song well.
Vebooboo: In a year with an appallingly low number of upbeat songs, it was so refreshing to see Finland choose this one. A lot of people will make fun of this for being cheesy, but nobody can say it isn’t catchy. A simple refrain goes a long way in Eurovision-land, and this one has just that. But more importantly, the staging is memorable. Great outfits (not exactly Vera Wang, but still…), nice choreography, and a whole lot of expression from a large group. How the staging will be done with the Eurovision limit on seven participants will be interesting. But girl can actually sing, so I don’t think they’ll have too many problems.
Bogdan: Because I first rooted for Mikael Saari’s entry, I dismissed Krista’s song as a silly romp without substance, but after a second (and third and fourth…) listen, I warmed up to it. A lot. Krista’s tweets also helped, as she is a bubbly person with a wicked sense of humour. Her hashtag #TeamDingDong is a testament to that. In a weak year full of ballads and so-so songs, Finland’s entry is merry and catchy and, with a good position in the running order, I see it doing well in the Final.
Wiwi: Feminists may have cried foul when they heard Krista sing, “I feel like a sinner, skipping dinner to get thinner, where is my proposal?” But after watching the official video, it’s pretty clear that the joke is on the haters. This song is all about female empowerment. In the video she shows how perceived vulnerability is actually a strength, as she teases and tortures her fiancé-cum-sex-toy. I enjoyed that. But I’m still not a fan of this song, which feels like a really cheap version of a Katy Perry number. Krista can sing—yes she most certainly can. But, in language that 12-year-old girls can understand, “I’m just not that into you!”
The Wiwi Jury Verdict: 5.71/10