Wiwi Jury: Greece’s Koza Mostra with “Alcohol Is Free”

Last night the Wiwi Jury—our in-house panel of music unprofessionals—took a whole bunch of cash out of the ATM and headed to Athens to review Koza Mostra’s Eurovision song “Alcohol is Free”. Did the cheap booze turn us into happy drunks? Or did we end up with a nasty musical hangover? Read on to find out.

Vebooboo:  Um, isn’t this a carbon copy of Moldova’s Hora Din Moldova? Seriously…there may be a bunch of hairy Greek men on that stage, but Nelly Ciobanu and a wind machine must be hiding underneath the moustaches, pubic hair and hideous kilts. Although I’m slightly appalled by the nation’s lack of originality, I at least praise them for talking about free alcohol in a land where nobody pays taxes. For that alone, they deserve to advance to the Final. This is a fun song (um, just like Moldova’s in 2009) and will lighten the atmosphere a bit on Saturday so that serious vixens like Natalia Kelly don’t have an aneurism.

Score: 5/10

Greece, Men of Koza Mostra, 1HK Dick: Regardless of whether the alcohol is actually free, I imagine the bar will be the most popular place when the Greek entry comes on. You’d need to be pretty drunk to enjoy this song but Swedish alcohol prices may mean I smuggle in a bottle of Ouzo beforehand to survive the three minutes of torture. Worst Greek song for ages (including 2011)!

Score: 3/10 

Deban: Here’s a fact. So far, Greece has always advanced into the finals. Beyond that, it finishes in the Top 10. Some years have been undeserving like in 2010 Giorgios Alkaios’ Opa. Last year’s Aphrodisiac which was better than Greece’s efforts in preceding years finished in 17th position. Although I felt the placement was fair, it marked Greece’s lowest rank in recent history. In an age of under-age and binge drinking, this act is branding the wrong message. Voters aren’t playing allies any more, and with the help of the juries, music experts are taking quality control very seriously. Watch another bit of history unfold this year. My crystal ball tells me that you won’t see this entry in the final. If Alcohol Is Free, open a distillery. You’d achieve more sales that way.

Score: 2/10

Bogdan: I disliked “Alcohol Is Free” from the first listen. Living in the Balkans, I am fed up with this sort of sound that seems to appeal to everyone else and their drunk dad. Plus, the gimmicks (the kilts, the eye-grabbing English title that is repeated to vomit-inducing levels as a chorus, the traditional-looking old guy contrasting with the hipster band) put me off completely. I am sure it will do well, probably as well as the babushkas last year, but “Alcohol…” is definitely not my cup of tea.

Score: 3/10

Greece, Men of Koza Mostra, 2Alexander: Greece is sending a fun, satirical entry similar to Lithuania’s “Eastern European Funk” from 2010. I say “satirical” because Koza Mostra have stated that the song’s lyrics have a hidden political message, probably pertaining to Greece’s financial crisis. I just love clever, sneaky entries like that! Musically, the song is very up-beat and catchy–it’s perfect to listen to after having your fourth beer in a Greek tavern. The way the group crazily dances around also reminds me of Romania’s “Liubi, Liubi, I Love You” from 2007. Although this is quite different from the usual pop Greek sends, it’s a good entry in its own right and shouldn’t have a problem qualifying to the final.

Score: 7/10

Mr Häggkvist: Here we have the Greek “Zdob si Zdub”…  a crazy entry with a stupid title. I’m sorry but the whole mix of Folk & Rock is damn good, and I think that without Agathonas Iakovidis this would be so bad, the Folk touch is the best of this. Great tune!

Score: 7/10

Wiwi: During our recent live chat on Google Plus with Koza Mostra, the band explained why they wear kilts on stage and in their official music video. It’s all about bridging the divide in Europe by uniting the kilt, which comes from Scotland, one of the westernmost places in Europe, and Greek music, which was obviously born in the East. And while they pull that trick off, the song itself doesn’t ever take flight. It’s monotonous and lacks a worthy payoff, leaving it as bankrupt as Greece’s economy. Not even the song’s clever political message—which you can deduce from the lyrics—make me like this. Greece, a Eurovision stalwart, may fail to make the final for the first time in history.

Score: 3.5/10

The Wiwi Jury Verdict: 4.36/10

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