What did he say? Read the Cheesecake lyrics from TEO in Belarus

Sometimes a song makes you stop and ask yourself what drugs the author was on when he wrote it. Belarus’ Eurovision 2014 song is a good example. The Cheesecake lyrics are so ridonkulous—they mention Patrick Swayzee, cheesecake and Google Maps—that we are fairly certain teaching standards for the English language are slipping in Minsk. We’ve attempted to transcribe the text below, and we’ve probably failed. TEO—aka Yuriy Vashcuk—doesn’t have the best enunciation!

On February 13 TEO confirmed that he has removed the reference to Google Maps and replaced it with “all the maps.” We’ve made these changes below. 

Cheesecake lyrics

Yeah, baby…

Once I gave you one more chance
You showed me dance
But I’m not Patrick Swayzee
You’re not Jennifer Gray

I told this story
But I’m so sorry
I lost my train of thought
When you called me, “My sweet Cheesecake”

I don’t wanna be your toy perhaps today
I’m not gonna be your boyfriend
It’s too late
I look over Google Maps all the maps trying to escape
’cause I’m tired of being your sweet cheesecake

I don’t wanna be your toy perhaps today
I’m not gonna be your boyfriend
It’s too late
I look over Google Maps all the maps trying to escape
’cause I’m tired of being your sweet cheesecake

Ohh…yeah…do-do-do-do

Hey I will fy far away
By any plane just not to meet you
On my way, don’t stay, hay

You dial my number
Your dreams start crumbling
You want me to be the man I’ll never ever be

I don’t wanna be your toy perhaps today
I’m not gonna be your boyfriend
It’s too late
I look over Google Maps all the mapstrying to escape
’cause I’m tired of being your sweet cheesecake

I don’t wanna be your toy perhaps today
I’m not gonna be your boyfriend
It’s too late
I look over Google Maps all the maps trying to escape
’cause I’m tired of being your sweet cheesecake

Ohh….yeah…do-do-do-do

I don’t want to be your toy
I don’t want to be your boy
Oh, oh

I don’t wanna
I don’t wanna be your toy
I don’t wanna
I don’t wanna be your boy

Yeah

I don’t wanna

I don’t wanna be your toy perhaps today
I’m not gonna be your boyfriend
It’s too late
I look over Google Maps all the maps trying to escape
’cause I’m tired of being your sweet cheesecake

I don’t wanna