The Wiwi Jury—our in-house panel of musical unprofessionals—spent the morning at the Dior Institute’s “urban spa” at L’Hotel Plaza Athénée. After enjoying a relaxing back massage, a thorough cleanse, and a special peel to exfoliate, we gathered to review Twin Twin’s Eurovision 2014 song “Moustache”. Were we inspired to grow our own? Or were we desperate for a razor? Read on to find out!

Padraig: In case y’all haven’t noticed, I’m a staunch Twin Twiner. When everyone else cried “joke act” I wept. Alright, alright, it was only a *facepalm* moment but you get the picture – I’m passionate about Patrick, Lorent and François. Thankfully, more and more people are overcoming their initial facial hair prejudices, and realising that “Moustache” is a very clever pastiche of modern life and the effects of consumerism. Fair enough, it may be all tongue in cheek but the message is pretty clear – you can have everything but you’ll always want more. It also helps that the song is a fun, upbeat pop number. Slick and catchy, this is a radio friendly belter which brings a joie de vivre to this year’s ballad-fest. #TwinTwinForTheWinWin.

Score: 10/10

Wiwi: I love everything about this—from the catchy chorus to the bright colors to the simple and easy-to-remember choreography. Some of you will complain this is a gimmick. Others will say France is better off with a classic chanson. Well all of you people can go buy a Patricia Kaas CD or fish an Edith Piaf record out of the vintage record shop. You need to step away from your fantasy of what French music should beand actually accept what it is. It’s not all dirges and ballads and women in black cocktail dresses crooning into a spotlight. Eurovision is about showcasing the diversity of music on the continent and this act does just that. This song is all about joie et bonheur. Everyone loves a bit of that!

Score: 8.5/10

http://youtu.be/Z_78Z6xxN9s

Angus: ‘Moustache’ is probably the most intelligent song in the contest this year. Behind a comic façade lies the message of the song: a withering statement on modern day materialism. You can have everything you want in the world but you’ll always want plus. It’s a lyrically complex composition which denies it some of the immediacy that Jesse Matador capitalised on in 2010. France has been in a mid-to-lower table rut since then and the unfortunate truth is Twin Twin are unlikely to break out of that. The song is unfortunately too clever. The ridiculousness is the thing that strikes you rather than the intelligent message and although that will appeal strongly to televoters I doubt the juries are going to take it seriously. 

Score: 7/10

Vebooboo: In 2010 France shocked us all with a pretty radical entry in “Allez Ola Ole”, and finished in 12th place…but has actually garnered more YouTube hits than any other song that year except for Lena’s. With success like that for such a basic song, I only can hope that Twin Twin really brings down the house this year. Their production is so much catchier, so much more professionally done, and their stage presence is simply electric. In Amsterdam they had the whole crowd jumping up and down from within the first 10 seconds, and I have no doubt they will do the same in Copenhagen. Twin Twin’s voices live are not all that, but they ain’t as bad as the letdown that was Ivi Adamou either. And as we all know, Eurovision is about staging a memorable act. Against that judgment criteria, Twin Twin is a total success. They can sandwich me any day!

Score: 9.5/10

http://youtu.be/7Md89N7AniQ

Billy: Well, I understand the meaning behind the lyrics, but what I don’t understand is that awful vocals at their live performance. They must go. I only like the refrain, which, I admit, can make you dance, but the other parts of the song are just weird. It is important that people understand the lyrics. It’s the only way to vote for TWIN TWIN. You should be whatever you want to be, without taking into consideration what the others tell you to be, and most importantly, do not follow fashions when they harm you. Do not see yourself as a single but as a part of a whole, which constantly needs your help. Eurovision this year includes some entries which have a unique theme behind the lyrics!

Score: 7/10

Bogdan:  This song is about my boyfriend. The lucky bastard has it all (hello, he has me!) but still always wants more. “Want” is his verb, essentially the plague of the society that we live in. So I can absolutely relate to the irony of this song. Moreover, the melody is insanely catchy and playful, just like the band. They’re having so much fun, that I got hopelessly infected with the “Moustache” bug at first listen. I’m not a fan of the video (I hoped for something a bit more creative and less obvious – I like the lyric video more), but this doesn’t detract from the fact that I love the song. And don’t freak if you see me sporting a moustache in Copenhagen. Just sayin’…

Score: 10/10

Twin Twin France 3 Eurovision

Deban: Kilted with a hypnotic beats, and taurine laced energy, Twin Twin serve up an upbeat pop-rap number. The kaleidoscope of colours when combined with the boys’ aesthetics make the stage presentation easy on the eye. Social commentary is welcome, but I take issue when the core message gets dampened this much. It loses meaning altogether. Imagine LMFAO composing a song about deforestation? Exactly my point!

Score: 5/10

Katie: I’ll admit, I wasn’t much of a “#TwinTwiner” at the beginning and I may have misjudged them, but the song has really started to grow on me since the National Final. Twin Twin are a really likeable bunch, they have a lot of charisma when they perform and they’re brilliantly bat-shit crazy! The music video is also awesome, I’m expecting buzzers and a wheel of fortune in Copenhagen! I’m bopping along before anyone even starts singing. The French lyrics work really well and it’s easy to sing along whether you speak French or not. Aww, they’re great. I’m expecting a top class performance at Eurovision with great dance moves and great staging!

Score: 9/10

TWIN_TWIN_DRMike: Since there are only about 5 countries this year who are not gonna sing (a part of) their song in English, I think France does really have a chance to finish on a good spot this year. The music of the French song is very easy, but that makes the song sounds very happy! But right after building this wall, I am slamming it down with my wrecking ball:  I am really afraid the vocals of the lead singer are not good enough for the Eurovision stage and we all know the staging is not the best part of the French Eurovision delegation so it will probably finish bottom 5 like every year… Chin up France, at least I like it!

Score: 6.5/10

Francheska: Is this the year of social commentary songs or something? Between “My Slowianie”, “No Prejudices”, “Rise Like a Phoenix”, and this, I’d say so. The first time I listened to this I immediately thought “France has been doing a little too much wine”. It’s catchy as hell, and for some reason I will find myself in the middle of physics class thinking “you know what would make my life right now? Dancing to “Moustauche” in the middle of class. I recently looked up the lyrics and was actually quite amazed by the satire in it. Poking fun at materialism and hyper-masculinity is quite ambitious, and any other year, this would be higher up my list. 2014, though, is a very competitive year for me. But given the fact that this is a band, and not just a satire singer (cough cough Aram), I would’ve expected something more instrumental/rock instead of electronic. But yet again, that just may be the Amandine withdrawal. This is not in my favorite French entries category, and it’s very un-French, but it’s catchy and it’ll be on my summer playlist.

Score: 6/10

All 19 jurors review each song, but we only have enough room to share 10 written reviews. Here are the remaining nine scores.

Anthony: 6.5/10

James L: 7/10

Mario: 6.5/10

Maxim Montana: 6/10

Zach: 7/10

Ramadan: 10/10

Patrick: 4/10

William: 7.2/10

Sami: 8.5/10

The highest and lowest scores are removed before calculating the final score. We have dropped a low of 4 and a high of 10.

The Wiwi Jury Verdict: 7.48/10

You can check out our latest Eurovision 2014 reviews and rankings on the Wiwi Jury page. You can keep up-to-date on the latest Eurovision news and gossip by following the team on Twitter @wiwibloggs and by liking our Facebook page.

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ESCaddict
Guest
ESCaddict

HEY ALLEN, SPEAKING OF PRETENTIOUS AND BADLY PRODUCED BALLADS, WHY IS SPAIN IN YOUR TOP 4?

Allen
Guest
Allen

I L O V E THIS SONG. BUT I HATE THE FACT THAT SOME PEOPLE LIKE TO STEREOTYPE THIS SONG AS SOMETHING RIDICULOUS, THIS DOESNT HAVE NOTHING OF RIDICLOUSNESS, IT’S CATCHY, FUNNY AND LISTEANABLE. I ALSO AHTE THE FACT THAT SOME STUPID JURIES LIKE PRETENCIOUS AND BAD PRODUCED BALLADS, THAT DRIVES ME INSANE!. I GIVE IT A 10/10, I LOVE IT IT’S WONDERFUL, I CAN’T STOP LISTENING TO IT, HOPE IT MAKES A TOP 10. FRANCE DESERVES, HOPE JURIES THINK THE SAME. STOP PLACING HIGH ALL THESE COUNTRIES THAT SEND THE SAME THING EVERY YEAR AND THAT DONT SING IN… Read more »

MoMo
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MoMo

LOL. Seriously?

Eugene UK
Guest
Eugene UK

7.48???? This song is not in the same league as some of the songs in the Oddschecker Top 10. The lyrics are extremely poor they just repeat moustache over and over again. Hardly a songwriting masterpiece. I don’t think the juries will like that. This is bordering on a joke entry and they sing in French and it could easily end up bottom 5 in my opinion. It will be interesting to see what happens with this one. I give it 5/10, I currently have it in 20th!!

Alex
Guest
Alex

It would be interesting to see how well Twin Twin would do with a good draw.

Also, I wonder if some jury members will actually reward these guys for having a song in their native language? France is one of the few countries sticking (mostly) with the national language this year.

Chesco
Guest
Chesco

Well, nobody does tacky like the French…sadly, I can’t get even remotely stirred by this pastiche-collage-montage. It is ridiculous in every way you look at it.

Arianna
Guest

I was just remembering a song here from Canada called Cha Ching by a band called Hedley – basically the same idea, but about TV commercialism and obsessiveness about fame http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/hedley/chaching.html It accompanies a hilarious mock music vid too along the same lines of Twin Twin ^^

I preferred Joanna, but I’m so glad these guys won haha!! Catchy and fun to sing along to, definitely 😀 & with a a message for longer term listeners to discover if they’re not French speaking.

Fatima
Guest
Fatima

Armenian guy, I think they will be in the final!

Armenian guy
Guest
Armenian guy

I was scrolling down ,and I was like WHAAA ?? WTH Will.I.am is doing here ?Then I realised that he is one of “Twin Twin “.

The title of the first photo could be “Will .I .am ,Elijah Wood and Willy Wonka ” haha

They are kinda cool .I wish them good luck ! Hope they will get to Final!

Marcelo N
Guest

@ Dan RO – I also do the lone dance, only just as I go from room to room. I’ve been told I’ve got two left feet; I’d say not even that 😛

Leon
Guest
Leon

A big mismatch between the social message and their interpretation of showcasing it. 2/10

Julian
Guest
Julian

It will be a miracle if they reach top 15 probably around 20th place.

Dan RO
Guest
Dan RO

I love this! This is what I call a fun song! ‘Social commentary’ aside, this song makes me want to dance! And I should say that this happens very rarely and I only dance in the privacy of my own apartment – call it my small contribution to the world’s well-being; my dancing in public would leave many people scarred for live! (remember Elaine from Seinfeld?). Getting back at ‘Moustache’, this should definitely finish within the top 10! If not, not only will I be shocked, but I will protest publicly by dancing in my town’s central square! I will… Read more »

Marcelo N
Guest

Well this song is as catchy as crotch lice… not really sure how much I want it, as I’ve dodged both crabs and infectious club numbers for the most part of my life. Truth be told, it is very well crafted and you won’t possibly forget it after half a listen. The satire is more than welcome, and the “social commentary” as some have called it makes me really, really appreciate the lyrics. To bad –here I go again– the song as musical composition in general is pretty much copied from a previous Stromae tune (which is also fabulous and… Read more »

Thiefo
Guest
Thiefo

I never considered this a joke act, but I wasn’t aware of the “social commentary” hidden in the lyrics either. That aside and regardless of how good or bad it will do, I’m glad entries like this exist, it gives variety to the contest, and God knows we needed variety this year with so slow songs! So I enjoy it for what it is, a catchy and fun song which will be a refreshing, up-beat break among so many ballads in the final. Besides, these guys are nuts! I love them! Twin Twin ohhhhh yeah!

Robyn
Guest
Robyn

This is one of my favourite songs in this year’s competition. Copenhagen is going to be all about a lady with a beard, and three guys with une moustache.

Tatyana
Guest
Tatyana

I’ve been in love with this song since the first time I’ve listened to it! It’s extremely catchy, fresh and, to me, very French!

davve
Guest
davve

I hope France will place in the Top10 this year. Finally a modern and cool song from the country that is usually stuck in the 70s.

Mateusz
Guest
Mateusz

I love France this year, it’s my number 2 !!!