Misheard lyrics are an essential part of Eurovision. Owing to phonetic blunders we’ve endured songs about everything from doughnuts to Norwegian earthquakes. We’ve also enjoyed songs that empower bottoms and sound off on the fact we are the worst people. Now it’s time to review some of the hidden gems that the Eurovision 2017 national final season has thrown up. Be warned: Misheard lyrics are no laughing matter — there may even be some slut-shaming on occasion.
1. Aiste Pilvelyte — “I’m Like A Wolf” (Lithuania)
What we heard: “The pain is broken in the butt”
Correct lyric: “The pain is breaking it apart”
We mustn’t joke about butt pain — this is a serious problem. It may come as some relief that the pain is broken, although we’re not sure if that’s supposed to be a good thing. Either way, Aiste will need to consult a doctor to sort out her rear end. You can find the butt of this joke at 1:28.
2. Boris René — “Her Kiss” (Sweden)
What we heard: “Eyes like a bovine”
Correct lyric: “Eyes like a goldmine”
Boris René’s lover might not appreciate being told her eyes look like those of a cow. However, we will give Boris the benefit of the doubt and assume that this is a compliment. Whether or not you are turned on by a pair of bovine eyes, you can check this line out at 0:39.
3. LeKlein — “Ouch!” (Spain)
What we heard: “It hurts so creepy”
Correct lyric: “It hurts so greatly”
It’s understandable that a song called “Ouch!” would talk about pain. But LeKlein’s pain is unusual in that it hurts so creepy. For her sake, we just hope that she’s not talking about the same pain that Aiste was singing about. Creepy butt pain is no fun. You can find this one at 0:58.
4. Anna Zankovska — “Rage Love” (Latvia)
What we heard: “Deranged love, take me away… deranged”
Correct lyric: “The rage love, take me away… the rage”
It seems as though Anna’s love is simply deranged. Perhaps she should seek some help for this one before attempting to enter Supernova again. You can hear this one throughout the chorus, starting from 1:09.
5. Lolita Zero — “Get Frighten” (Lithuania)
What we heard: “Hey oesophagus” or “And nothing’s obvious”
Correct lyric: “Ain’t nothing stopping us”
This list wouldn’t be complete without Lolita Zero, who gave one of the most memorable performances of the national final season. We’re not too sure what was going on throughout that performance, so it’s only fitting that we’re not sure what she’s saying either. “Hey oesophagus”, “and nothing’s obvious” or “ain’t nothing stopping us” — you be the judge from 0:35!
6. Melovin — “Wonder” (Ukraine)
What we heard: “Wiwi in a wonder”
Correct lyric: “We wait, I wonder”
We may be biased but we’re pretty sure that Melovin was singing about us in his Ukrainian national final performance. Obviously we are flattered and we’re slightly disappointed he won’t be doing the same at Eurovision 2017. You can hear this line repeatedly throughout the song, starting at 2:30.
7. Kerli — “Spirit Animal”
What we heard: “You are my toe in my love”
Correct lyric: “You are my totem of love”
There is no shortage of potential misheard lyrics in “Spirit Animal” but we’ve decided to go with one for our foot-crazed readers — you know who you are. If that’s your thing, we won’t judge. We hope you enjoy Kerli’s song about the role of toes in making love. This line can be found in the chorus, starting from 0:46.
8. Maxine Pace — “Bombshell” (Malta)
What we heard: “All you’re gonna hear is the sound of a taco/shotgun/doctor”
Correct lyric: “All you’re gonna hear is the sound of a jaw drop”
We had to take several guesses to figure out what sound Maxine Pace was singing about at 0:14. The sound of a shotgun would make sense, given the explosive lyrics of “Bombshell”. But perhaps we’re going to hear the sound of a taco instead? We’d love to know what you think of this conundrum.
What do you think of our misheard lyrics? Do you have some misheard lyrics of your own? Let us know in the comments below.