The road to becoming Eurovision’s Next Top Model 2017 is long and bumpy. It doesn’t follow a straight line — it follows countless twists and turns (and that’s just the padding that some of our girls use to enhance their on-stage silhouettes).
In March we launched our annual search for the contestant who has what it takes to succeed as an international superstar after the Eurovision glory fades. Knowing that ENTM has become the premiere online modelling contest for the women competing at Eurovision, our readers voted in droves, casting a total of 21,643 votes during the semi-finals. Tonight 28 must become 14. The first elimination of Eurovision’s Next Top Model 2017 starts now.
Twenty-eight mostly beautiful women stand before me, but I only have 14 photos in my hands. And these photos represent the 14 of you who are still in the running to become Eurovision’s Next Top Model.
The woman finishing in first place has proven to us that she understands transformation. When she competed in her country’s Eurovision selection show she was a Whitney Houston cover artist with a school teacher look. But she’s gone back to the drawing board, shaken out her ponytail and returned with a top-knot that embodies “the higher the hair, the closer to heaven” mantra we live by.
She ain’t no cover artist now. She is Armenia’s Artsvik.
Congratulations, Arstvik. You’re still in the running to become Eurovision’s Next Top Model.
The woman finishing in second place in the semi-finals embodies Parisian fashion better than anyone. She’s got legs as long as the Eiffel Tower and knows how to work a plunging neckline to show off her stunning décolletage, which makes the boys say oo la la.
She says “embrasse-moi!” in her Eurovision song and, baby, we’re ready to pucker up. She is France’s Alma!
Congratulations Alma. You’re still in the running to become Eurovision’s Next Top Model.
Age doesn’t define beauty, and youth doesn’t limit poise. And that’s why I’m so thrilled to award third place in our semi-finals to an eighteen-year-old who understands that beauty is borderless. She may hail from Romania, but she yodels with the power of a thousand Swiss milkmaids. From Transylvania to the world via a mountain in Austria, she is Ilinca!
Congratulations, Ilinca. You’re still in the running to become Eurovision’s Next Top Model.
Now look — if I have to read out 23 more names I’m going to run out of things to say. And, more to the point, I don’t have a sponsor so somebody better call Coca-Cola if you want better production value. The women finishing in fourth to 13th place and advancing to the final of Eurovision’s Next Top Model are: Greece’s Demy, Poland’s Kasia Mos, Albania’s Lindita, Switzerland’s Miruna, Macedonia’s Jana Burceska, Denmark’s Anja Nissen, The United Kingdom’s Lucie Jones, Georgia’s Tamara Gachechiladze, Belarus’ Ksenia Zhuk and Belgium’s Blanche.
Ladies, all of you are safe. But safe is a word we don’t like. This year RuPaul’s Drag Race stars Michelle Visage and Ross Matthews are the Eurovision commentators in America, and they sure as hell will not tolerate safe. At Eurovision you don’t lip-sync for your life. You’ve got to turn up and turn out live on air in front of 200 million (including at least 50 million judgmental queens). To quote RuPaul, turn up the heat or go down in flames.
Thirteen mostly beautiful women stand before me. But I only have one Instagram photo in my hands. And this photo represents the one of you who is still in the running to become Eurovision’s Next Top Model 2017. If I do not call your name you must immediately return to the House of Wiwi, pack your bags and go home. And don’t take my towels, or I will sabotage your LED during the semi-finals.
The final act advancing to the finals, is….
O’G3NE — Lisa, Amy and Shelley.
Ladies, you’re competing as a trio and you have beautiful harmonies. But we want to hear your individual voices. Don’t borrow Sis’ barely-there clothes. Cut up your own denim mini-skirt and slay on your own terms. After all, Karl and Marc don’t send models down the runway in threes…
Eurovision’s Next Top Model 2017: Semi-Final Results
- Armenia’s Artsvik 14.84% (3,211 votes)
- France’s Alma 9.47% (2,050 votes)
- Romania’s Ilinca 8.06% (1,744 votes)
- Greece’s Demy 6.75% (1,461 votes)
- Poland’s Kasia Mos 6.21% (1,345 votes)
- Albania’s Lindita 6% (1,298 votes)
- Switzerland’s Miruna 4.93% (1,066 votes)
- Macedonia’s Jana Burceska 4.5% (975 votes)
- Denmark’s Anja Nissen 4.48% (970 votes)
- The United Kingdom’s Lucie Jones 4.09% (885 votes)
- Georgia’s Tamara Gachechiladze 3.82% (826 votes)
- Belarus’ Ksenia Zhuk 3.39% (733 votes)
- Belgium’s Blanche 3.17% (686 votes)
- The Netherlands’ O’G3NE 2.76% (597 votes)
- Czech Republic’s Martina Barta 2.22% (481 votes)
- Azerbaijan’s DiHaj 2.16% (468 votes)
- Serbia’s Tijuana Bogicevic 1.93% (417 votes)
- Estonia’s Laura 1.84% (399 votes)
- Germany’s Levina 1.58% (343 votes)
- Russia’s Julia Samoylova 1.56% (338 votes)
- Iceland’s Svala 1.36% (294 votes)
- Malta’s Claudia Faniello 1.29% (279 votes)
- San Marino’s Valentina Monetta 1.28% (277 votes)
- Latvia’s Agnese Rakovska 1.26% (272 votes)
- Finland’s Leena 0.61% (132 votes)
- Lithuania’s Fusedmarc Cilia 0.44% (96 votes)
Total Votes: 21,643
The finals of Eurovision’s Next Top Model 2017 kick off on Monday 27 April — right in the middle of first rehearsals. Being a top model means being able to turn it out after just one hour of sleep even if you had to hitchhike to Kyiv with no change of clothes and only a hot water bottle filled with borscht. We’ve all been there, ladies. No excuses.
What do YOU think? Did your 14 favourites make it through? Do we need to declare a state of she-mergency and throw one of these ladies a lifeline? Let us know in the comments box below.