The Great British Sing Song: New music from Nicki French, Simon Webbe, The Fizz and Katie Price

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It’s the nation responsible for some of the world’s biggest music hits. Yet strangely enough, we rarely hear new material from the United Kingdom’s former Eurovision acts.

More often than not, they perform poorly at the contest and then drift into irrelevance. But over recent weeks and months, there’s been a number of releases from the Brits. Let’s take a listen.

Nicki French “Teardrops (On The Disco Floor)”

She’s the Eurovision 2000 singer who first rose to fame with her disco take on Bonnie Tyler’s mega-hit “Total Eclipse Of The Heart”. And twenty-odd years later, Nicki French is still flogging the disco genre for all it’s worth. Only nowadays she’s nowhere near the top of the Billboard charts.

“Teardrops (On The Disco Floor)” acts as a follow-up to French’s perfectly passable 2015 single “This Love”. However, whereas that was an unabashed celebration of LGBT rights, it’s hard to know what to make of this latest release.

Is it serious? Is it parody? What exactly is an exorcism of love? Why is Nicki wearing a woolly cardigan on the dance floor — is she not awfully hot? And why do her default dance moves consist of waving and milking a giant invisible cow?

If you’re after a retro song contest star doing disco with a modern twist, ABBA’s Agnetha Fältskog is a much better bet. As for poor Nicki’s effort — all together now — don’t play that song again!

Simon Webbe “Nothing Without You”

He’s famous for being a quarter of Blue — one of the most successful British boybands of the early 2000s. But away from the Eurovision 2011 group, Simon Webbe also enjoys a moderately successful solo career. Despite their age, tracks like “Coming Around Again” and “No Worries” still sound relatively fresh. Now after a decade, “Nothing Without You” sees him on his own once more.

Inspired by his love for fiancé Ayshen Kemal, the track is basically what it says on the tin — Simon is nothing without Ayshen. We’ve heard similar sentiments countless times before, and the smooth R&B sound isn’t distinct enough to elevate the message.

His LP Smile drops in October.

The Fizz “Dancing In The Rain”

They’re the bubblegum pop group that have been putting the drama into Eurodrama since 1981. After over three decades of skirt-ripping, feuds, line-up changes and the occasional hit, Bucks Fizz, or rather The Fizz, are releasing new music once more.

As Bobby G holds the copyright to the Bucks Fizz name, the other three Eurovision-winning members Mike Nolan, Cheryl Baker, and Jay Aston simply go by The Fizz. Together with Bobby McVay, they’re putting the final touches to their upcoming album the The F-Z Of Pop — the first LP from any iteration of the group since the 1980s.

“Dancing In The Rain” — not to be confused with Ruth Lorenzo’s 2014 Spanish entry — acts as the record’s lead single. Purely one for existing fans, it’s as if the intervening years never happened. The gang sing of overcoming adversity as if it were 1985 all over again. Like with Nicki’s effort, this too sounds dated. However, it benefits from stronger production values courtesy of Mike Stock — he of Stock Aitken Waterman fame.

Katie Price “I Got U”

She’s perhaps the best known British national finalist to never actually make it to Eurovision. But if you thought Katie Price’s singing career ended with her infamous 2005 defeat to Javine, you’d be wrong.

Back in June, the glamour model turned reality star turned TV panellist attempted to revive her neglected profession with the release of “I Got U”. Unfortunately for the artist formerly known as Jordan, the track has received an almost universal panning from most major media outlets, with the tabloids gleefully reporting on her live mishaps.

Strip away the headlines, and you’re left with a fairly anonymous electro-pop song sung by someone who sounds nothing like Pricey. Modern technology really does work wonders.

What do you think? Which track is your favourite? Let us know in the comments below.

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