Wiwi live blogged the second Eurovision semi-final on May 14. You can read the transcript below, and you can read Wiwi’s live blog of the first semi-final here. It really was a cultural Chernobyl! xoxo, Wiwi

7:35pm: Hello, Europe! Dobry vecher Moscow! London calling. Wiwi has his earplugs, his painkillers and his semi-final scorecard. Bring on the bad music!

7:40pm: Remember, only countries performing in tonight’s semi-final (along with France, Russia and Spain) will be voting to determine who advances. Given the large number of Balkan, Eastern European and former Soviet states in this heat, this is good news for countries like Albania and Moldova who may not play well with Western audiences. Wiwi is convinced that Norway will not win this semi-final (despite the hype surrounding him). Even so, Norway will obviously contend in the final.

7:45pm: With the exception of Norway, all the best acts go in the second half of tonight’s show. Drain your lizard + powder your nose earlier in the night so you can sit through the second half sans interruption!

8pm: Here we go! There is some serious flash photography going on. They need a seizure disclaimer!

Bizarre opening performance by local Moskva dancers. Cossack kick-line to ABBA’s Waterloo with accordion accompaniment. A what-the-f*ck of epic proportions.

8:06pm: First up is Croatia. Igor just sang “Don’t judge the quality of our song. We’re gorgeous. Vote Croatia!” Duh.

Hmm. Wiwi thinks the blonde has the voice of an angel, but the face of an alligator.

8:10pm: Ireland with “Et Cetera.” This feels like a Junior Eurovision Song. Don’t you feel the pubescent angst? Still, and Wiwi hates to admit it, it’s catchy, fun, bouncy, teeney-bopper, etc. (Get it? OMG, Wiwi is, like, totes on point tonight).

They’re the only rocker chicks in the whole competition–that must turn some voters on?

Lithuania's Sasha Son

8:14pm: Latvia is represented by Intars Busulis. He’s singing not in English…not in Latvian…but in Russian! Think he’s begging Mother Russia for some votes? Probably smart. Tonight’s semi is loaded with former USSR states. “Probka” means traffic jam. This sounds more like a car crash.

In other news, Russia spent $30 million euros putting on Eurovision this year. Something tells me governments across Europe have their fingers crossed their entry loses!!

8:18pm: Serbia. The title of this song is “Cipela,” which means Shoe.

The ballet dancer is a fourth-year philosophy student at the University of Belgrade. I’m sure she’d tell you there’s a categorical imperative to vote for her or something, but Eurovision don’t speak Kant, mmmkay!

Obese Serbian man with a blonde Afro and a leather-clad sidekick playing the accordian while said ballerina sits in a split for no apparent reason next to them. I kind of love it.

8:22pm: Now we have Lidia Kopania from Poland. This song is called “I Don’t Wanna Leave.”

Um, sweet Lidia, Wiwi needs you to leave. This is boring. Nice make-up though. Go home knowing you’re a sex bomb.

Some of you on Wiwi’s message board actually like this song?? I like the staging. Simple. Clean. And this chick is hot. But the song is so boring!!!

alexander-rybak
Norway’s Alexander Rybak

8:23pm: Norway is about to take the stage. Teen girls around the world swoon. Malta’s Chiara Siracusa has publicly stated that Norway’s act reminds her of Harry Potter. Is that because it’s magical or because Alex  looks like a goblin?

Alex turned 23 yesterday. He was born in Belarus. Will he thank the audience (and all those Russian viewers) with a big spasibo at the end of this thing? Votes, Alex. Think of the votes!

The cameraman is crap. We want to see the Cossack aerobics in the background. Three men doing push ups and bouncing.

This is a fantastic performance, but the song is totes repetitive. And he didn’t say spasibo! Rude!

8:31pm: Cyprus is up. Christina is only 17 and looks so fragile….I hope she doesn’t break anything. This song is about the “firefly.” Fireflies are so ugly!!! Wiwi does not vote for insects.

For a moment Wiwi was worried she would jump off that box.

Anyway, that was a mature performance despite all the pitch problems. Really effective and simple staging. Wiwi just wishes the song wasn’t so crap! (You’ll get 12 points from Greece, dahling).

Cyprus: Christina Metaxa

8:35pm: Slovakia. Wiwi spent a summer in Slovakia and he can’t remember the music scene. At all. Hmmm….but boy did they have some nice pork!

Oh, sh*t. Wiwi just bet 20 pounds on Cyrpus making the final. Bloody Internet + pressure from a friend! What is Wiwi thinking?!?! Luckily Greece and Albania are voting tonight so she’ll get a few points.

8:38pm: Slovakia. Was that a love song or a marital row? Too much screaming.

8:40pm: Denmark. He’s hot. This song is fantastic. Wiwi can’t think of anything bitchy to say. What is going on?!?!

8:45pm: Slovenia. Woman locked in a lightbox/tanning bed is singing. It’s just so generic. “Love Symphony.” Blah. And she finally emerges! With only one minute left.

Hungary: Zoli

8:49pm: It’s Hungary‘s turn. Adok Zoli has performed in musicals like Cats and Fame. He’s currently starring in Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Phantom of the Opera back in Budapest.

Whoa. A grafiti artist appears to have thrown-up on his costume. The colors and the song are giving me a headache. BUT, Wiwi’s readers seem to be hungry for Hungary. He’s currently fifth in Wiwi’s search for Eurovision’s Next Top Male Model

“In the middle of the night we dance until we’re sore. Dance with me!” WTF??! You need to give me some ibuprofen first.

8:51pm: Azerbaijan is up. Arash is Azeri-Iranian but grew up in Sweden. He’s got those Scando-votes on lockdown! AySel is smoking (they don’t call Azerbaijan the Land of Fire for nothing). Wiwi keeps thinking of AySel’s quote when she arrived in Moscow.“We will set the stage on fire in every way you can imagine it, that I can promise.” Move the kerosene!

“I believe I’m addicted to you?” You need to get a restraining order on him.

I really enjoyed that. I’d buy it on iTunes. Is there an Azeri iTunes store?

8:55pm: It’s Greece, baby! Beware of Greeks bearing gifts. And boy is this man a gift to us all. Look at him. 100% muscle. And not a

He's not smiling
Greece’s Sakis Rouvas

single hair follicle on that chest (seriously, the costume is totally meant to expose all his assets). Here are some pics of sweet Sakis.

Those white pants are like a cheap hotel!! NO BALLROOM!!

Amazing Michael Jackson-inspired lean. Wow. Thank goodness they remembered to unlock the braces.

9pm: Lithuania is up. He tickles the ivories and the fancy of women throughout Europe. He’s currently dominating Wiwi’s search for Eurovision’s Next Top Male Model

I’m really not into this song. But he’ll probably go through.

OH MY GOD, his hand is on FIRE! crazy?!

9:03pm: Time for Moldova. Wiwi no speaka this language. Is she screaming in pleasure or pain? (Oh, wait, one of you has emailed Wiwi to say it is Romanian. And another one of you has e-mailed to say your Scandinavian neighbors are laughing because the title of this song, Hora Din, translates as ‘your hoe’ in Swedish or Norwegian).

This is catchy, but I think a few cats just died. Shrieking, even to a good beat, is still shrieking.

This is like Norway’s performance. But on crack cocaine.

9:06pm: Albania. Goodness, Is Cliche the capital of Albania? “I close my eyes and you are there.” “Take my love, take my heart.” Puh-leaze! Take her away!

She is 16 years old. Wearing a tutu that short should be illegal!! And standing in front of the wind machine? Deliberate methinks. Deliberate.

Okay, looks like we have an intermission now. Entertain yourself with this video of reactions from the first semi-final.

9:11pm: Ukraine‘s Svetlana Loboda has appeared in some coffee commercials. Maybe that’s why she is so stimulating! Or it could be these insanely hot backup dancers. And apparently she believes in safe sex, because said muscle men are dressed as Trojans.

She calls those three things hell machines, but they look like hamster wheels.

WHOA–muscled dudes just swung her 360 degrees in a circle. She must have smelled the stage floor with that one!

Is she actually playing those drums?!?

The announcer just called her a “stripper in a hamster wheel.” Well that stripper just had the performance of the night! AMAZING.

9:16pm: Estonia‘s lead singer totally looks like Lily Allen. This song is really similar to Russia’s entry this year. Will be interesting to see how they stack up against each other if Estonia makes the final.

9:20pm: The Netherlands. Wiwi has not seen so many sequins since his high school prom. It looks like a drag queen blew up!

Looks like another intermission. Why don’t you watch this video of Norway’s Alexander Rybak singing Jason Mraz.

9:30pm: Apparently the Ukrainian entry mortgaged her house to build that set. OMG, that breaks Wiwi’s heart. Serioiusly, vote Ukraine + her Trojans!

9:32pm: Graham Norton is an idiot. He just said that Andrew Lloyd Webber was a perv for thinking that Turkey has a chance to win. Andrew is right. Turkey was AMAZING Tuesday, despite battling an infectious skin condition.

9:37pm: “amaaal” has written Wiwi to say: “U liked Greece? He was so orange, all I was thinking was: oh how great of greece to senda  person of color.” Now that I think about it, Greece’s staging and technology was greater than he was.

9:40pm: A lot of you are commenting that Hungary had the worst performance of the night. Wiwi agrees, but still hopes he advances. It’s classic Europop!

It’s gonna be a few minutes till we have results. Here are some commercials of Greece’s Sakis Rouvas selling stuff.

9:46pm: BBC is interviewing Malta’s Chiara. She’s going on about how she hopes to win after two tries already. She was nervous when she took the stage Tuesday. And Finland’s Waldo’s People are there. They perform after Jade Ewen on Saturday and want to give Andrew Lloyd Webber a high-five they say.

9:48pm: Okay, they’re going to announce the results….

1. AZERBAIJAN Yes!

2. CROATIA. Um, Balkan bloc = power. That song was horrible.

3. UKRAINE. Dancers have put on their clothes. Shame. Svetlanta looks so relieved. Sweet.

4. LITHUANIA

5. ALBANIA. Flamingo dancer in a tutu.

6. MOLDOVA

7. DENMARK

8. ESTONIA / LILY ALLEN

9. NORWAY (all Scandos qualified!)

10. GREECE How are those results random?? They saved Norway and Greece for last. Crazy. I was so nervous.

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andy
Guest
andy

for bogdan,
where the fuck do you know that fundamentalism is big in albania?
have you ever been there? there is no difference between albania and western europe in that. so mind your own business and do not reply to everyone like you were an expert.

Tapee
Guest
Tapee

Lithuania is the best

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[…] 2009 by wiwibloggs More than 26,000 of you tuned in to Wiwi’s live blogs of the first and second sem-finals. Wiwi is exhausted. Trying to follow the action on TV while finding appropriate hyperlinks and […]

berti
Guest
berti

well done albania my favirote this year shes just turned 17 n has probly the best voice this year, and the 2 semi final wow albania was good best 1 on the night i hope albania win they deserve it

2010 in tirana awsome 🙂

GO ALBANIA !!!

slayton491
Guest
slayton491

Im very dissappointed that Ireland didnt get through! I felt that they really deserved a place in the Final on saturday.

Check out my blog where I am posting some memorable performances( both good and bad) from past eurovision contestants @ http://slayton491.wordpress.com/category/eurovision-memories/

Violet
Guest
Violet

Lithuania , Norway and Ireland are my favourites in this semifinal !!! Good luck to you all! 🙂

amaaal
Guest
amaaal

So who do you think got the jurys vote? I am thinking that they saved a good song this time, Denmark or Greece.

SunShine
Guest
SunShine

Good Luck Albania. Nice song, nice voice, nice dance and moves…. I loved everything…. Hope next year the host is Albania 🙂 cheers

Kosovari
Guest

ALBANIA it`s namber one!!!
we love you KEJSI. you are the besst…

im very happy

serbia down………! its torrible song. outside….!hahahahah

Hakuna matata
Guest
Hakuna matata

YEY! GO LITHUANIA!!!!

Louis
Guest
Louis

Shammy! LOL!

amaaal
Guest
amaaal

Scandos make good music, of curse we qualify…but wtf is moldova, croatia and ukraine doing in the final?

alb
Guest
alb

Shut up!!

Shammy
Guest
Shammy

Croatia? CROATIA?!?!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!

Azerbaijan, Ukraine, Lithuania and Estonia, I’m happy with that!

Albania………..ugh.

Moldova I can handle. It’s a fun, catchy song.

YAY DENMARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GO NORWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Awesome, Greece made it….

Oh well. At least Denmark and Norway made it.

alb
Guest
alb

Go Albania. And why do the writers make so much sarcasm about Albania. We qualified!!!!!

bogdan
Guest

Moldova! So Europe understood that the song is not about the dildo.

Ruxandra
Guest
Ruxandra

Yes..MOLDOVA 😀

bogdan
Guest

Lithuania! I’m really glad.:)

Shammy
Guest
Shammy

“She is 16 years old. Wearing a tutu that short should be illegal!! And standing in front of the wind machine? Deliberate methinks. Deliberate.”

Exploitation at its finest, unfortunately. Exploitation of an underaged flamingo.

They should have taken some outfit advice from Cyprus, Iceland and Estonia. Their outfits were much more modest, but still very pretty.

bogdan
Guest

Guys, Hora is not a huge dildo as it seems. Is a traditional dance, ok?

amaaal
Guest
amaaal

Hora din moldova had everyone laughing in scandinavia……

Hora: means hoe
Din:mean yours

Bulgaria was supervulgo…i dont think he will make it.

Ruxandra
Guest
Ruxandra

Ireland,Cyprus,DENMARK (:-)),Greece,MOLDOVA and maybe Ukraine

amaaal
Guest
amaaal

alot of the songs really sucked tonight…..

only good ones: Norway, Azerbadjain, Estonia, Lithuania

U liked Greece? He was so orange, all i was thinking was: oh how great of greece to send a person of color.

I liked Albanias song but whats up with using little ppl as stairs?

bogdan
Guest

the magic button? Ka-boom!

Louis
Guest
Louis

I heart Beth Ditto from the Netherlands!

bogdan
Guest

the netherlands: NOT. pity for those 70000 euros costumes. ha ha.

Ruxandra
Guest
Ruxandra

The only thing funny in this Holland picture is the fat women 😀

alb
Guest
alb

Albanians never have been fanatic people. And the capital of Albania is actualy Tirana.

Louis
Guest
Louis

Wiwi, I need you to book us two tickets to Kiev. Trojans!

Shammy
Guest
Shammy

Svetlana must have a thing for Spartans. But Trojans are more manly than them!

/failed joke hehe

Ruxandra
Guest
Ruxandra

I will vote for Ukraine :)only for the show..and the refrain

Louis
Guest
Louis

Shammy, seriously make the joke cause I don’t get it.

Shammy
Guest
Shammy

Hey Dmitryi, why do we need a toaster?

bogdan
Guest

Like Albania. Bravo for the courage, although Albania is a muslim country and the fundamentalism is big.

Louis
Guest
Louis

Where did Moldova find Gumby?

Shammy
Guest
Shammy

“I close my eyes and you are there.”

I’m going to refrain from making a very dirty joke about that line. It’s not appropriate.

bogdan
Guest

Wiwi, that was a fuckin’ great song. The language is ,… romanian.

Ruxandra
Guest
Ruxandra

Mi s-a facut pielea de gaina…cum traduc asta? :))))))))

Ruxandra
Guest
Ruxandra

finally..moldova…Go Nelly :))))

bogdan
Guest

Lithuania is my fave in this semifinal. he sings bro’.

Ruxandra
Guest
Ruxandra

PAsS Lithuania

Rebecca
Guest
Rebecca

Aaaaa i love this song! Although they could work a bit on their voices.. Gr8 performance though

bogdan
Guest

Manele?!?! Costi?

Ruxandra
Guest
Ruxandra

Old fellow Arash….

Rebecca
Guest
Rebecca

Hungarian song a bit lousy.. although catchy refrain..

Shammy
Guest
Shammy

Man….WTF is up with Hungary? This song is crap!

And I wasn’t digging Slovenia’s performance. She had a forced voice and it didn’t sound good at all.

bogdan
Guest

till moldova you have to watch Hungary that will receive many many votes from Romania.:)

Ruxandra
Guest
Ruxandra

Hungary..BARBIE’S KEN?..no no no

Ruxandra
Guest
Ruxandra

I want to see Moldova!!!!!