The Moniker performs "Oh My God"

It was a dramatic evening up North, and both Vebooboo and Wiwi were shocked by the results. Mouths dropped. Tears dropped. And so did our faith in Swedish voters.Here’s how it all went down:

THE QUARTERFINALS

Unsurprisingly, Love Generation creamed Jenny Silver, who performed at her best but didn’t have a chance against four divas dressed as spandex zebras. Love Generation, who claimed to have already ‘won emotionally’ by making it to the Second Chance round, were on top form. Charley Q—aka the mixed-race version of Pink—rediscovered her voice, and the group’s choreography was on-point throughout.

In the second duel, Sara Varga appealed to traditional voters with her ballad ‘Run for Life’ and outclassed Loreen’s modern pop-R&B offering. The sweet Swede received a proposal from a wealthy Stockholmare during the voting period, and Vebooboo thinks she’d be a fool to turn down that luxurious apartment just off Marietorget in the capital! Congratulations on the man!

In the third duel, Linda Pritchard’s ballad was so powerful it seemed to blow her away, and she left the stage on the verge of tears. Her opponet The Moniker played it much cooler, donning Indian garb and speed-walking throughout his three minute performance. He even survived a personal grilling from Rikard, who was curious about his relationship status. In the end, cool beat cray cray and The Moniker made it through. (Sad.)

And in the last of the opening round duels, Shirley’s Angels shrieked into a wind machine and thrust against white walls. But their professional choreography wasn’t enough to beat the understated and classy Pernilla Andersson. Pernilla overcame toe cramps from her rehearsal and donned red high-high-high heels just for ‘us guys’ watching. Upon hearing that she made it through to the semis, Pernilla started shouting and jumped on top of the nearest guy on stage. Is her song called “Desperados” or “Desperate”?

THE SEMIS

In the first semi, the bleach blond member of Love Generation tripped as her platform elevated from the stage…and Sara Varga pounced on the opportunity to claim her spot in Globen. Vebooboo was shocked. Sweden should have learned its lesson last year—don’t send a song that appeals to Swedes, but instead send something that appeals to Europeans—but apparently it hasn’t. Here’s Sara. (She could have her own competition at Eurovision with Switzerland’s Anna Rossinelli, non?)

The Swedes disappointed Vebooboo in the second semi too by choosing quirky Moniker over classy Pernilla. Lame.

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William Lee Adams
Admin

it’s such a shame. why can’t those rural voters be poor and not own phones? bloody welfare state.

Rick Jacobs
Guest

Desperados was much better than I remember it – that would have been an interesting song to have in the Final. However, the lagom-obsessed and rural voters strike again by choosing The Moniker.  Swedish voting patterns never cease to amaze.