As Eurovision 2012 approaches, fans in the United Kingdom are already groaning over the thought of another last-place finish—and the uncertainty of this year’s selection process. Last year marked a major shift in how Britain chooses its contestant. The BBC selected boy band Blue in the most undemocratic way. No nominees, no finalists, no televised selection, no popular voting, no panel of washed-up pop stars. Blue was simply handpicked. But tyranny isn’t always a bad thing. The BBC’s move proved moderately successful and saw the U.K. move from 25th position in Oslo (remember karaoke reject Josh Dubovie?) to 11th place in Dusseldorf.
Should the BBC decide to select this year’s entry internally, Deban—the newest blogger on the wiwibloggs.com team—thinks they would be wise to pick Girls Aloud. That would be good for Britain—and for the ladies themselves. Here’s why:
• The dead sexy group consisting of Cheryl Cole, Nadine Coyle, Sarah Harding, Nicola Roberts and Kimberley Walsh have had an impressive twenty UK Top 20 singles, including four number ones. They’ve had similar success in Europe—and that could translate into votes in Baku.
• Since their hiatus, which started in 2009, there have been rumours of a reunion. It’s their 10th anniversary and what a better way to mark a comeback? ESC has live audience viewing figures of over 170 million viewers. There’s no bigger platform.
• They would look as good nude as Blue did in their naked promotional pics.
• Individually, they have each reached an impasse with their careers. Let me count the ways:
• Cheryl (who’s by far the most successful) no longer has a job because she was loathed in the USA, leading Simon Cowell to boot her off the American version of X-Factor. Ouch. Luckily, she won’t have to speak in Baku. Instead, she could just look gorgeous and adlib her way to success. Or she can try to go to an online school and take on a different career.
• Nicola can stop pretending she’s indie-chic and resurrect her career from those three singles that barely cracked the Top 40, and that album that flopped on release (the team at wiwibloggs.com can’t remember what they were called either). Her make-up range has also suffered a similar fate.
• Kimberley can finally see life beyond animal farm and tender her resignation from Shrek: The Musical.
• Nadine can regain her confidence. Since losing Jesse Metcalfe (possibly to another man) and her solo career also tanking, confidence has dipped as much as her collar bone has started to protrude. ESC could help restore all that (as could a trip to the nearest all-you-can-eat buffet).
• Sarah is an ok DJ when she does it twice a year. However, make no mistake, she’s no Benny Bennassi or David Guetta. She could finally get her idle mind on preparations and endless rehearsals for an ESC group comeback in Baku.
• Xenomania, the production team behind Girls Aloud, are responsible for the success of many global artists like Cher and Kylie Minogue. They’ve helped shape the Europop sound in recent years. Their winning formula sits beautifully with ESC.
• Girls Aloud get a chance to call the shots and prove that they’re a cut above Europe’s other girl groups-turned-Eurovision-contestants. Germany’s No Angels, one of Deutschland’s biggest musical exports, finished last in ESC 2008. And Feminnem, who represented Bosnia in 2005 and Croatia in 2010, failed to reach the final on their second attempt—even with their tacky heart-shaped backdrop.
• Girls Aloud would increase ESC viewership at home by simply participating. Europe would in turn take the UK seriously. We may even win, and stage ESC2013 in London, making good use of the Olympic infrastructure.
The United Kingdom needs a formidable band to lift the curse of nil points, and restore faith and interest in ESC as a whole. There is no doubt that the girls can achieve this. It’s about time the United Kingdom raised her profile at the contest, and started picking up douze points again.
And one more note to the ladies. Y’all better act fast. JLS have already hinted they want their own shot at Eurovision glory.