Wiwi’s Jury—a panel of music unprofessionals—had the misfortune of listening to Latvia’s Eurovision 2012 entry “Beautiful Song” this morning. Brace yourself, Anmary! This isn’t gonna be pretty.
Wiwi: Anmary is magic: She can make three minutes feel like a lifetime. Unfortunately, that’s not going to get her to the grand final of Eurovision. This act is dull. This song is dull. The only part of the performance that I can relate to is the brief bit at the beginning when the two back-up girls roll their eyes at Anmary. To her credit, Anmary has chosen an interesting outfit (at the beginning, anyway). It’s how I imagine a farmer’s daughter would dress if she were a whore.
Vebooboo: Anmary sings about a beautiful song that everyone knows and everyone loves. Um, is she talking about one of the other entries in the competition? Girl must be, because it sure as hell ain’t hers. Probably the most repetitive song to date, with the most cliche staging. What the hell are they wearing? Why do Anmary’s eyes constantly bulge out of their sockets? So many questions, so much sadness.
Meows: Borrrringgg!! This was a waste of my 3 minutes and honestly I’m kind of offended by it! The words are dull, the keyboard sounds and costumes are dated, and I half expected her to yodel when she started singing wearing that straw hat. I would’ve picked ‘Music Thief’ over this. At least that was funny.
Deban: Looking like a milkmaid who’s high on crack, Anmary gives us a show that’s reminiscent of Laka’s Pokusaj. Her song starts off with ESC-royalty name dropping-(Jonny Logan). In the next few verses, she becomes more autobiographical. Sadly, some of it comes off as fiction, and what doesn’t, who cares?? Yes, it may be a beautiful song, but it has a silly yoddle-esque melody, crap lyrics, poor stage production, outdated wardrobe, pathetic choreography with a dozy pacing and delivery. It is clear that Latvia hasn’t learnt from previous failures of previous years. I’m almost beginning to wonder if there is a secret Eurovision Razzies’ that I’m not aware of.
The Wiwi Jury Verdict: 2/10