The Wiwi Jury thought it had reached rock bottom with Latvia’s Anmary. Boy were we wrong. Last night we gathered in our underground bunker to review Anri Jokhadze’s “I’m a Jocker.” We emerged ten minutes later wearing black, and each of us had a heavy heart for the Republic of Georgia.

Wiwi: The Georgian entry says he is a joker, but there are plenty of things he is not. He is not, for instance, a good singer. Nor is he the charismatic performer it would take to make this appalling song bearable. Its lyrics are easily the worst of Eurovision 2012 and feature lines such as: “Hands up, booty up! And do the dance, honey/ Hands up, booty up! And do the dance, honey/ Show me some love!” I’m starting a petition for Georgia to send Candy—the Georgian girl group which won Junior Eurovision 2011—to Baku instead.

Score: 1/10

Vebooboo:  OK, this dude tries to own the stage like Eric Saade or Danny Saucedo. Two key problems — he’s twice their age, and he’s overweight.  And perhaps more importantly, his lyrics don’t make sense. What the hell is he singing about? Why are the interludes in the song so abrupt? And why are all these bad songs making it to Baku this year?? WHY!?!?

Score: 4/10

Meows Kitty: Oooo, I just gave Georgia the hand. Stare at the palm of my hand, b*tches. Did he just say “I’m a stalker”??? EWWWW.

Score: 0/10

Deban: Georgia is no stranger to sending bizarre acts to Eurovision. And no ESC journalist could ever forget the promotions that have accompanied some of Georgia’s entries. In 2008, Diana Gurtskaya’s contribution to world peace was chanting “Peace Will Come” on her missionary walk through the Serbian war fields. Defying her disability (she’s blind), she led hoards of people through the ravaged areas all waving Georgian flags. Remember the vamp rock band, Eldrine from last year who screamed their way through three minutes of “One More Day”? The shock factor rose to another level, when they turned up to perform on stage in florescent green paper-type dresses. Consequently. They bagged the Barbara Dex Award in a landslide victory.

I could have bet my life savings on both of these songs not qualifying, but they managed to peak in The Top 10. Anri Jokhadze continues this trend. The song is simply bad. It’s not even a song! It’s a speech rap with the most pathetic a-b-c type lyrics. Despite the song being backed by a soulful choir, the refrain “I’m a joker, I’m a rocker, I’m a smoker, forever, ever, ever.. .” borders on irritating. It’s hard to imagine the merits of sitting through the Georgian pre-selections when songs like these emerge as winners. The good news is that this song will facilitate my toilet break in Baku.

Score: 2/10

The Wiwi Jury Verdict: 1.75/10

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Christian
Guest

No worries Georgia.ANY chances made to this song even if it will be last minute will be a improvement for the song

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[…] Read the Wiwi Jury’s review of Georgia’s ESC 2012 song […]

MoMo
Guest
MoMo

And just when you thought it was safe to come out again, in comes Gerogia’s joker/rocker/worker/smoker/stalker and all the other (ir)relevant “-ker” words in the English dictionary.
All that I can do or say is facepalm*

*http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=facepalm

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[…] Valentine Monetta with “The Social Network” 31 0.26% 42. Georgia: Anri Jokhadze with “I’m a Jocker” 27 […]

francisco
Guest
francisco

I am flabbergasted! this has to be the worst Eurovision song of this year, not even Rambo Amadeus comes close to this, not even the Russians singing grannies (aaaawww! bless them, they’re so cute anf fluffly with their babushka dresses), not even that awful song filmed in Dubai…nothing, absolutely nothing compares to this hot pile of steaming poo! Congratulations Georgia, you won the “worst song of the year award”, here we go, a nice, big, fat, shiny medal for you…

AnthyGreece
Guest
AnthyGreece

Aphrodisiac Eleutheria Eleutheriou Greece http://youtu.be/LL4nTddctUc

Zolan
Guest
Zolan

I don’t completely hate this, because I find myself focusing on what could have worked and imagining that instead. So I mainly hate it for making promises and then making no attempt whatsoever to deliver on them. Lessons from Witloof Bay: A vocal demo is not a song, and punning on your name is not a lyric. But it goes even further in being mind-bogglingly lazy and uncreative — slapping random styles and cliched padding end to end with no hint of composition or care. It’s one thing to be merely bad, but this shows utter self-absorption and contempt for… Read more »

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[…] With that in mind, I now realize that ranking the songs by an average score out of ten isn’t the wisest move. Instead, we should use an ordinal system just like the Eurovision Broadcasting Union does. Jury members at the real Eurovision do not rate songs out of 10. They judge them relative to one another based on a ranking system. Wiwi opened up an Excel spread sheet, and has started playing around. You can see how the first 21 countries rank based on scores and based on rankings below. This helps reduce the effect of any “outlier” scores… Read more »

stephen
Guest
stephen

Please tell me am not flying from London to Baku to see this idiot? This not a joke just like is lyrics. Guys is white gloves coming back into fashion? ( I don’t think so ), I can see Georgia in the last position or should I say not Qualify to the final.

1/10

Nathan
Guest
Nathan

Nirgal, I am watching this exciting song for the third time. I actually am starting to like this song in the most ridiculous way, whilst eating sweet potato with my danish “girl”-friend who must catch up on Eurovision songs selected.

He is not a joke. He is a joker!

Nirgal
Guest

Nathan, he’s not a joker. He’s just a joke. And a bad one.

Nathan
Guest
Nathan

You know, I can tell you that I have visited almost every single country in Europe – or at least I will have by the end of this summer. And yes, Georgia, I visited last year in 2011. Had I heard this song, I would have freaked out and never went. I went to Moldova LITERALLY because of the saxophone guy and lifted manhole plates in Chisinau looking for him. Needless to say (or Need to say?) I am NOT returning to the streets of Tbilisi EVER to look for THIS joker! One thing though, you jury are not discounting… Read more »

Deban Aderemi
Editor

Yes Emma, WiwiJury’s plan is to review all the entries. Stay tuned.

Emma
Guest
Emma

All we can do is hope for another Belarus–terrible song, everyone investigates this terrible song’s victory because they really really really don’t want to embarass themselves like that, turns out terrible singer cheated. Although I’m not entirely sure Alena cheated–that might have just been an excuse from Belarus’ lovely dictator to send something decent.

Wiwi Jury, will you be reviewing all the countries? Love to see your take on Germany (I’m in Germany now, so I watched USfB and was totally rooting for Roman) and Belarus’ new number.

Neil
Guest
Neil

The jury is right, the lyrics had very little thought put in to them. Deban, I got the feeling you put a lot more energy in to analysing this song than the writer did in composing it!

Nirgal
Guest

1.75 out of 10 is still to high. Should’ve been a -3 at most.

Melissa J
Guest

What the Mayana predicted was not the end of the world in 2012, but the end of good Eurovision songs, Only Melodifestivalen can save us now…

H.K. Dick
Guest

It takes a lots keep me quiet but this atrocity stunned me into silence.

Deban, how on Earth did you manage to award this 2/10? Vebooboob 4/10? Seriously guys, at least the Kitty wasn’t afriad to stick her claws into this and give it the appropriate nil points.

And I used to think the East Europeans took Eurovision seriously and perhaps, more worryingly, Georgia still do..! If I could give minus points I would. a big fat zero/10

Christian
Guest

They must be joking Big time! What on earth were they thinking.Why send in this ? After Lithuania “We are the winners” or maybe even Sylvia Night the year before it seems like there has been a competition within the competion of who can come up with NON-classics. That is a virus spread growing bigger and bigger every year.A toilet break for the ones present but THIS is why people will vote against Eurovision.They are digging the grave if they do not take it seriously and send in people who could have a chance to represent them with real music… Read more »

Deban Aderemi
Editor

I salute Meows Kitty’s courage. Nil points?? I thought that wasn’t permissable on wiwibloggs.
I must say that on hearing the song again ( a task in itself), I felt like asking the Georgian delegation for a refund of my 2 points.

Atila
Guest
Atila

🙂 smile for song

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[…] with “This Is the Night (3.75) 8. Latvia: Anmary with “Beautiful Song” (2) 9. Georgia: Anri Jokhadze with “I’m a Jocker” (1.75) Digg this post Recommend on Facebook […]