This afternoon the Wiwi Jury—our in-house panel of music unprofessionals—gathered to review Ravaillacz’s Melodifestivalen entry “En riktig jävla schlager”, which means “A Real Damn Schlager”. Did it end up being a real pleasure, or a real damn shame? Read on to find out…
Deban: Saturated Schlager! Rural pop music infused with comedy. Far more befitting as an intermission act for a folk festival. It’s memorable for all the wrong reasons. Loreen raised the bar. There is no justification in plummeting this low.
HK Dick: I heard many similar songs whilst hanging about in salubrious Cologne bars during Eurovision 2011. Don’t tell anyone but I rather like this. Go on, admit it, your toes are tapping too. Obviously has no chance at Eurovision but it’s great that the Swedes have a good sense of humour. Their country will be a great place to move to when I get older and have many a knees-up in the retirement home.
Mr Häggkvist: What can I say about this…I honestly think that this isn’t a bad song. It’s a nice entry, but for the wrong times. I think Sweden competed in Eurovision 1986 with a song with the same style and sound, and they finished in fifth place. This sounds so 1980’s. I kinda get the purpose of the song, but this is not the first time Eurovision veterans have gotten together again, and this would be so boring and lame against some other entries we already know from other countries, so this just can’t compete in Eurovision. It lacks too many elements.
Vebooboo: So every year Sweden magically votes through a really crappy folk song like this one. One with old ass people who move in an uncoordinated and unsynchronised way. Clearly this year was no different, and Ravaillacz is just that group. Please, Sweden, don’t even humour this group by extending a vote in their direction. The lyrics are simply ridiculous, the choreography atrocious, and the refrain is painful.
Wiwi: One minute in I felt like three minutes had passed. Two minutes in I thought ten minutes had passed. Three minutes in I was questioning why I waste so much time running this blog. I can understand why people voted for this: Four cheesy men with cute personalities are a nice foil to all the star-spangled-booty and cleavage of Melodifestivalen. But if you close your eyes and listen to this you will get really bored really fast. I don’t give points for age, and I hope the jury at #melfest doesn’t either.
Wiwi Jury Verdict: 3.3/10