We know the wiwibloggs fanbase has been growing, but we didn’t realise we had such strong influence on Eurovision singers themselves. A couple of days ago we exposed the desperate need for our favourite weight-loss superstar Robin Stjernberg to give his choreography a serious make-over. Well, today Aftonbladet has revealed in an interview with Robin that that’s exactly what will happen!
In light of Eurovision rules that only six people may be on stage and none may be hidden, Robin will be forced to fire three of his dancers and at the same time bring the two hidden back-up singers (yes, they were there!!!) on-stage. Apparently there will be a new colour scheme as well. Thank God, because colour is not an appropriate word to describe the utterly bland visuals on the stage at Melodifestivalen. Cue the beige suit!
Robin will also apparently sing on a special mini-stage built just for him and his increasingly slender frame. “When it comes to me, I will be much more intimate, I will be much more focused on the song. I won’t be moving around as much,” Robin revealed. Hopefully that means Robin’s voice won’t crack as much as a 13 year-old hitting puberty.
Rennie Miro, head of the Swedish delegation, further explained the nation’s ESC strategy. “We have given him a stage to stand on in order to get completely clean pictures of him. He will sing pretty much the whole song on the podium, and the dancers will be surrounding him. He will be lighter in colour and the dancers darker. He will have clothes that fit the song even more. He was a little stiff at Melodifestivalen, but now he will be softer.” If softer means more chub, then we at wiwibloggs say a big no. Robin has worked hard to shed those kilos, so let’s keep them off and move even more in the direction of Italy’s Marco Mengoni.
Weight aside, do we seriously think this choreography change will do Robin any good? I mean, remember our favourite Kati Wolf two years ago? She also stood still the whole song, and look what that did for her! And how does this in any way differentiate from key competitor Cascada, who sings in a prom dress on top of an awkward set of steps for most of her song. SAME SAME!
Robin, we challenge you to be bolder. Break some glass, hire a professional figure skater, hang some laundry and collect roses from nuns. Do what it takes to get a Top 10 performance!