Eurovision stars bring a lot more than their voices to the competition. They have to bring body and face, and then they’ve got to package all that into three minutes of fabulous. For the men competing to make the finals of our annual search for Eurovision’s Next Top Male Model, the heat is on. And for six of them it’s about to burn them straight out of the competition. The first elimination of the Eurovision’s Next Top Male Model semi-finals begins now.

Twenty-four mostly attractive men stand before me, but I only have 18 photos in my hands. These photos represent the 18 of you who are still in the running to become Eurovision’s Next Top Male Model.

The race to qualify for the final in first position is incredibly close. Our current leader sings in a super high register during his Eurovision song, but he is all man. He’s known as the Voice in Romania and he’s known as the front-runner in the race to win Eurovision’s Next Top Male Model. He is Cezar Ouatu.

Congratulations Cezar. You’re still in the running to become Eurovision’s Next Top Male Model.

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The contestant in second place trails Cezar by less than 30 votes. He wants your support and according to his Eurovision entry he also wants you to hold him and unfold him (whatever that means). He is the body from Baku and one of the few contestants with good shirtless pics on Google Image. He is Azerbaijan’s Faird Mammadov.

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Congratulations Farid. You’re still in the running to become Eurovision’s Next Top Male Model.

The contestants currently in third and fourth position are inspirations to the team at WiwiBloggs.com. Together they have lost a combined total of nearly 300 pounds. Italy’s Marco Mengoni has traded the pepperoni for the San Pellegrino, and Sweden’s Robin Stjernberg has traded the Swedish meatballs for Slimfast milkshakes. And baby, they’re both still in the race.

Congratulations Marco and Robin. You’re still in the running to become Eurovision’s Next Top Male Model.

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Wiwi needs to go to work, so we need to speed up this elimination. The men finishing in 10th through 17th are all safe. But that’s a word we don’t like at wiwibloggs. If you want to make it as an international superstar when the Eurovision glory fades then you need to be a lot more than safe. You need to be fierce, fit, funky, daring and willing to take off your clothes in front of a camera. Turn up the heat or you’ll extinguish your chances to win. Congratulations. You’re all still in the running to become Eurovision’s Next Top Male Model.

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Would the men of Klapa s mora, Noyz, Adrian, Gor, Dedduh, Stoyan and Bledar please step forward. Looking at your vote tally is pathetic. It makes Wiwi nauseous to think that none of you managed to get more than 30 votes. If you had simply asked your extended families to vote for you you could have doubled and in some cases tripled your vote haul. Just look at the table. Can you tell me you’re proud of this?

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I have one photo in my hands. And this photo represents the one of you who would still be in the running to win Eurovision’s Next Top Male Model if I was feeling generous. But people: This ain’t no charity. If you want to be on top you need to be on point and you need to be able to rally your fans behind you. None of you have lit a fire in my belly—and you certainly haven’t lit one in yours.

I’m sorry, my dears, but I’m sending you all home. You must return to the House of Wiwi, pack up your protein powder and go home. Do not steal my new porcelain or any of my towels or I will have the police after you faster than David’s dogs ran out of his house when he heard Albania last year. That’s all.

The race to win Eurovision’s Next Top Male Model continues. Come back soon for our second and final elimination. These results were accurate as of 1pm GMT on 16 April 2013. 

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Shura Vorobey
Guest
Shura Vorobey

Farid is TOTALLY THE HOTTEST. It’s shouldn’t be even up for discussion.

Valentina
Guest
Valentina

Go Farid. With love from Russia!

Fred
Guest
Fred

Farid is the most handsome one in the Eurovision 2013. Cezar??? Really?? Oh my God, girls are you kidding me?

Zara
Guest
Zara

FARID is my favorite!!!!

Tarane from Russia
Guest
Tarane from Russia

F A R I D MAMMADOV FROM LAND OF FIRE – AZERBAIJAN ????????
WE , GIRLS, WILL VOTE FOR YOU !

nikki
Guest

farid marry me you are so hansome only farid because he is my azerboy

nikki
Guest

faridddddddddddd my love

Varya
Guest
Varya

Romania and of course Farid. He is very handsome

LisaE
Guest
LisaE

only Farid!! <3 he is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hot ^______^

Zarko Radjenovic
Guest

Farid is the best!

@hotESCboys
Guest

Robin from Sweden is 4th mainly ’cause he’s the winner of Melodifestivalen.. Mario Djordjevic from Who See (Montenegro) is one of my fav hot guys this year!.. he’s bearded and manly, I find him really hot.. Ante and Ivica from Klapa S Mora (Croatia) are cute too.. Edgar Sahakyan (Dorian’s bassist, Armenia) is a very handsome bearded guy too.. I have an account on twitter dedicated to the hot guys of Eurovision, if u wanna follow me.. I’ma warn y’all: my concept of beauty is very wide, and I tweet pictures of most of the male participants… I’m an admirer… Read more »

Bahar
Guest
Bahar

Upsss from Malta 🙂
Turkey and Georgia

Bahar
Guest
Bahar

I think hottest guys are in Spain, Azerbaijan, Italy, Greece and Kurt from Malma 🙂

nikki
Guest

Faridddddddd is the best because he is azebaijan man

JulianaESC
Guest
JulianaESC

My three hottest guys are: Marco Mengoni, Gianluca Bezzina, and Roberto Bellarosa. Marco’s not classically handsome but he drips sex appeal on stage, and I like that. Gianluca is so cute and bubbly it’s impossible not to like him. Roberto is closest to my age, and he looks like one of those tall dark and handsome men but also really frail, as if I need to hug him constantly.

Other hot guys are Farid Mammadov (he has abs chiseled by angels) and Robin Stejnberg (I’m not in to the song but he’s so pretty).

Cristi
Guest

Romania had always good looking singers for Eurovision. Hope this year will win!

henrique
Guest
henrique

Yes alexander, that’s what I meant by dark conspiracy, lol. I’m bracing myself to see Romania in the final anyway. Hope I can live to see weirdest things in the future 😀

xoxo
Guest
xoxo

Marco Mengoni and no one else..<3

Bronson
Guest
Bronson

Excuse you. Albania’s song last year was AMAZING.

Dalma
Guest
Dalma

Cezar is really hot although these are not his best pictures. There are better ones on his fb page:)) Farid has a good body but very bad face, especially the eyebrows

Anca Ion
Guest

Cezar Top Model number 1!!!

LOLA
Guest
LOLA

Do i have to say that Cezar is hotter than the sun??i will say it!He is the hottest man alive!And no,is not a conspiracy,nor spam!just peoples who love him,support him and believe in him!

Vio
Guest
Vio

Thanks, Wiwi Bloggs, we love him back, of course!!!

Inge
Guest
Inge

There’s something wrong with Farid’s face. It’s … crooked? I don’t know how to describe it haha. And Cezar..He’s just ugly and his song is too. Marco and Robin please!

Nigar J
Guest
Nigar J

AZERBAIJAN IS THE BEST SEXIEST MAN IN WORLD! GO FARID. YES YOU CAN HOLD ME!

Vio
Guest
Vio

I wonder why men post their comments here?? I thought they would be more interested in the female next top model. Hmm….weird.

Vio
Guest
Vio

Oh, dear Farid – do your fans know that you spend more time in the gym than you do rehearsing your songs? Wiwi Bloggs, you say that he “wants your support” – he must have called you and kindly asked you to say so (I am joking, so no reply needed!), the man might be afraid of losing.
Ok, ladies, do we want to hold and unfold a little Ken, or do we stand for a charming man with attitude???
Good, now give it up for Cezar, you know how and where to vote!

Alexander Green
Guest

@henrique While I disagree with your opinion about the song and Cezar, I think the reason why Romania is leading all these polls is because there’s a bunch of Romanians on here voting for their own country…

Sarah Jeeter
Guest
Sarah Jeeter

Cezar looks like he was punched in the eyes

Roberto
Guest
Roberto

All of the guys are kind of EWWW this year. That matches their music. Funnily enough, the women are the favourites. And the race to be Eurovision’s Next Top Model (for the ladies) is WAY hotter

henrique
Guest
henrique

Holy crap, I believe there’s some kind of dark, sinister, hidden conspiracy involving Romania around this place and whereabouts. First, and incomprehensibly, their horrible song tops several polls. And now even Cezar, which to me must be one of the ugliest man alive, leads the pol to win a beauty competition. What is going on?!

Charlton
Guest
Charlton

glad to see Latvia doing well at something at Eurovision 🙂

Nana
Guest
Nana

AZ-ER-BAI-JAN! Farid for the women—and the win. Work those abs baby! Cezar? Not hot.

Alexander Green
Guest

lol, this is hilariously written