Last night the Wiwi Jury—our in-house panel of music unprofessionals—packed up our Lonely Planet travel guides and headed to Yerevan to review the Dorians’ Eurovision song. Did the touchy-feely number inspire us to do some good? Or did it induce nausea and vomiting? Read on to find out…

Wiwi: In their effort to find something deep, the Dorians have delivered something utterly shallow. These lyrics make no sense. “Who can change the night and day? Who’s the one with clever face? That can tell us what is in the space? Playing games that none can play.” Whatever game they are playing, they are running foul of good taste and inspiration. This is easily Armenia’s worst-ever entry, and that includes its various efforts at Junior Eurovision. It’s slightly better than Albania in my estimation, but miles behind the joke that is Latvia.

Score: 1.5/10

Alexander: The first time I heard “Lonely Planet”, I seriously thought it was a contender for last place in Semi-Final 2. It sounded more like noise than a song to me. However, after listening to it more and hearing the enhanced studio version, I’ve grown to appreciate it. What particularly stands out to me in the studio version is the vastly improved guitar arrangement in the chorus. “Lonely Planet” is a decent rock tune with a nice message similar to the Russian entry.

Score: 5.5/10

Armenia, Gor Sujyan, 2Deban: Get out your guide books and pack your bags for Yerevan. I love the simple video that plugs this rock number. Although it doesn’t scream ‘WINNER’, this is a song that has a long shelf life. It can be used in song festivals, ad campaigns, and serves well as a jingle for green parties across the continent. Taking on some of the messages in Lucia Moon’s “Delicious Feeling”, “Lonely Planet” is a cry for earth reform. It’s in keeping with Armenia’s contribution of songs with meaningful content. When levied against Eva Riva’s “Apricot Stone”, it falls short. However, when pitched against Emmy’s “Boom Boom”, this is a song of hope.

Score: 6/10

HK Dick: I was glad to see Armenia back this year as politics should have no part of Eurovision. At first I thought “Lonely Planet” was a song about travel guide books but instead Gor Sujyan bangs on at us for three minutes about war and peace in, perhaps, a thinly disguised attack at his Azeri neighbours. It’s not a terrible song but seems to be bogged down in his attempt to deliver a memorable anti-war song when three minutes of disco would have done far more for European harmony.

Score: 5/10

Bogdan: Like Albania, Armenia aims to revive rock – and it appears that Gor Sujyan aims to revive Jeff Buckley as well. I am sure that “Lonely Planet” has its audience, but I am also sure that they won’t be tuning in to watch Eurovision, which generally caters to a very different musical taste. I would be in utter disbelief if this song that belongs to the early nineties advanced to the Final of ESC 2013.

Score: 3/10

Armenia, Gor Sujyan, 1Mr Häggkvist: Another rock ballad. I was expecting a huge comeback for Armenia, but this is just good, nothing great. I’m not convinced about this. It may not be enough for the final.

Score: 5.5/10

Vebooboo: Armenia got screwed over last year. Not only did they boycott the competition for fears of getting killed, but their music even got banned in the Euroclub during Eurovision. I sure as hell know at least a few of us were missing “Qele Qele” and “Apricot Stone” on that dance floor. This number, on the other hand, is one that I wish never existed. Decent vocals are great to have, but you need to first have a song to sing.  “Who’s the one that starts a war?” I have a better question for you: Which nation sends a crappy song?  “Maybe someday we’ll break the wall. Maybe the light will touch us all.” I have a feeling these singers are living in a dungeon and without any tools. Keep them down there with Gollum and his precious, please.

Score: 3/10

Wiwi Jury Verdict: 4.21/10

You can see the latest reviews and standings on the Wiwi Jury pageYou can also listen to all 39 entries on our contestants page.

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Jade
Guest
Jade

I love this song and I love how they’re not full of themselves. I love Gor who is very charming and sweet. The song has always been underrated and they deserve to do well. Better than the Azeri song which is just so generic

LA
Guest
LA

I LOVE ARMENIANS<3

FIRST CHRISTIAN NATION IN THE WORLD, RESPECT!

Georgian girl
Guest
Georgian girl

Song is great. I think they will win! Like Jackson’s song. Really, just listen to it as Jackson’s song. I love them, DEEP and Beautiful voice and He is so sexy. I saw him once in Georigia.

Eva
Guest
Eva

Hey all of you. Especially “BUTTERFLY GREECE”!!!!!!!!!!! Do you think greek people are beautiful? Armenians are very beautiful, moreover they are very friendly and kind, not like COLD other europe people. And finally song is great, music is very deep, and the lyrics – may be simple but so nice. How much evil in you! Shame on you. I don’t find that there are good song this year. they almost are so stupid pop songs. NO gist!

Momo
Guest
Momo

I endured the song for all of 56 secs and cried for mercy. Nil point.

Leon
Guest
Leon

Great vocals and well structured song. The lyrics sound interesting until you try to follow them – touches of truth, but that’s about it. The title is memorable but only because it’s been recycled.

Trevor
Guest
Trevor

Oddly, I have a feeling this will be running through my head tomorrow. Memorable, and – I think – a decent vocal. And where can I buy those technologically stunning tv t-shirts? Reminded me of the Tellytubbies for some odd reason.

nikki
Guest

yes so ugly

BUTTERFLY GREECE
Guest
BUTTERFLY GREECE

oh my god ! WHY ? WHY ARMENIANS ARE SO UGLY ?? I HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH UGLY PEOPLE IN WHOLE EUROPE !

Alex
Guest
Alex

Yeah, the lyrics don’t make sense, but a lot of good, famous songs have lyrics that don’t make sense. And for God’s sake, what’s so wrong with a 90’s throwback???

This was totally in my initial top 10, but since more songs have come out it may have gone down to only top 20 or so. The end of the song is really awesome, though. Hoping this advances to the final (which is fairly likely, given that it’s Armenia).

Pablo Nava
Member

They somehow got Tony Iommi and they manage still kinda fail.
There are some parts of the music that don’t really merge with the lyrics. The great music screams an anarchy rock song at times, but it’s all about mellow messages.
Gor’s voice needs to be harsher in hope for it to work.

The Caucasus in its entirety it’s really bad this year eh?

nikki
Guest

it is so bad and boring it is my Opinion

Jacob
Guest
Jacob

It’s okay, nothing special, not too bothered about it either way.

Anthony Ko
Editor

The only good thing about this entry is that the song is composed by Black Sabbath legend Tony Iommi. Strange but true. 😀