There have been some unforgettable moments at Eurovision through the years. Moments that gave you goosebumps, brought a tear to your eye, and reminded you that a Serbian prayer conquers everything, that a light blue pair of underwear always does the trick and that no matter what happens…Euphoria will hold you together forever till the end of time. But there have also been moments that made you jump out of your seat, bleed by the ears and stare at the screen thinking: “W….T….F ?????!” So pop some painkillers and take a look at the Top 10 “Say What?!” moments from Eurovision.
United Kingdom 2007: Scooch with “Flying the flag (for you)”
Oh my, oh my. From the nation that brought us Bucks Fizz, Katarina and the Waves, and Brotherhood of Man comes this. What were they thinking?! A singing flight crew, with portable security gates, gigantic wine bottles and the flag of love. Who within the BBC lost a bet? Those three minutes of them wandering around the stage and Flying the flag fooohor yooouuuu are three minutes of my life that I’ll never get back. And when the guy offered me the duty free perfume for giants, a little part of me died.
Slovakia 2009: Kamil and Nela with “Let’tmou” (Fly through the darkness)
I usually watch this on mute because Kamil is in fact easy on the eyes when he isn’t yelling. But that doesn’t change the fact that he did his part to turn Eurovision into a contest of who can scream louder and be the most out of tune. It started out alright, with the cello, and Nela standing oh so pretty on stage in her white dress. But then Sweet Lord! Now that I’m tone deaf, I’m convinced this song was artistic masturbation for the composer. This is simply a horrible entry and should never, ever be played without at least one dose of Valium…just to take away the rining in your ears.
Switzerland 2004: Piero and The Music Stars with “Celebrate”
A little predictable as a “Say What?!” moment, I’ll admit. But seriously….how many times can one group order you to clap your hands and celebrate, without you going: “NO! I HATE clapping and I HATE celebrating!” Piero and the (so called) Music Stars certainly made an effort, whilst wandering aimlessly on the stage, and desperately trying to get Europe to celebrate with them in what seems to be the dullest party that has ever been held. And don’t get me started on the one liner they called “lyrics”. I heard that poor Piero was working as a hairdresser when the call for stardom came. Well, I hope he’s a good hairdresser, cause he is not a singer…or a party animal. Probably a nice guy though…
Croatia 2007: Dragonfly feat. Dado Topic with “Vjerujem u ljubav” (I believe in love)
Say what Croatia? Everybody within 10,000 km of Finland were on standby with emergency defibrillators just in case Dado kicked the bucket whilst moaning. And the Stevie Nicks wannabe that hung on to him like a cheap suit? Who on earth convinced her that she could at any point sing? No, no, and no. This was bad all the way through. I lost all faith in love when this came on stage. And I’m the girl who still cries when Richard and Julia finally overcome the obstacles in their way in Pretty Woman! And she was a prostitute, people! Thanks Dado and Dragonfly!
Azerbaijan 2008: Elnur and Samir with “Day after day”
OK, I have to admit that this entry is somewhat a guilty pleasure of mine. It makes me giggle because it’s so bad. That said…say what?! Angels, demons, falsetta and a screaming dentist? Right, it must have been a lousy first semi-final in Baku because this CAN’T be the best they had to offer! And they reached 8th place?! I’m sorry, did I miss out on some inside joke here? Maybe people got confused, when he poured the (hopefully) cheap red wine over the backup singer/dancer. Or maybe they were just scared s***less that Elnur and Samir would haunt their dreams for all eternity should they not cast their vote in the couple’s favor. And could anybody understand any of the lyrics? Fllleeehr brrrah skooh mmeeeehsssnchar day after day…….Hidden message about solving world hunger…probably…
Belarus 2010: 3+2 with “Butterflies”
That….was…..epic! And not in a good way. First of all, the guy whispered the first words, trying to look all mysterious and sexy. Fail. Then the rest joined in, sounding exactly as they appeared. Belarussians who didn’t speak a word of English. The entire time I thought: “Oh God, please not butterfly wings, please don’t spread butterfly wings…PLEASE!” And then “Oh crap, they have butterfly wings!” My hopes were crushed at 2:23. Not cool Belarus, not cool. I don’t know what went wrong. This was a fairly decent ballad, with fairly decent people. It should’ve been okay. But it wasn’t. It was a yawnfest with flying instructions.
Latvia 2008: Pirates of the Sea with “Wolves of the Sea”
Honestly Latvia…we all know that Pirates of the Caribbean was a huge hit with you, and Johnny Depp is a god. But that doesn’t mean that you should bring it to Eurovision. A group of bad singers, led by a creepy recycled opera singer wearing a bandana, and a creepy wannabe dancer with balloon breasts is a bad idea. No matter how you look at it. Fun fact…a Scottish metalband called Alestorm covered the song, and did it better! Goes to show that rock always beats nogoodtechnodancepop. Even if it contains a pirate captain with a binocular and a steering wheel on stage. True story, y’all!
Georgia 2012: Anri Jokhadze with “I’m a Joker”
It started out promising. All dark and whatnot, with Anri singing in Georgian, which is a beautiful language. And he is a really good singer! But then disaster struck and everything went downhill from there. They lost the piano player, the tape played the song way too up-tempo, and Anri got nervous and started singing in English as his poor backup singers got stuck in their walkers! Talk about bad luck. Wait, it was suppose to be like this? Say what?! Anri, this was a bad joke, nobody is laughing (except the Wiwi Jury). Don’t ever do this again! Come back when you have something better, for example a panda. Everybody loves pandas.
Bulgaria 2009: Krassimir Avromov with “Illusion”
Aaah Krassimir….the man who brought the counter tenor back to Eurovision, with the illusion it would work. I laughed my way through the entire performance. I couldn’t make up my mind about what was the funniest moment. The dramatic hand gestures, the dancers on the stilts, Krassimir’s relentless pursuit of becoming as a sex symbol, or the backup singer with the 80’s wig and a voice that could raise Beethoven from the dead, his first words being: “Liebe frau…..SSSSUUUSSSHH!” All put together, this was the most entertaining moment of the 2009 contest. Horrible..but funny.
Azerbaijan 2011: Ell and Nikki with “Running Scared”
For my part, this is probably the biggest “Say What!” moment in the history of Eurovision. Why did this win?! Who voted for this?! How did this happen?! (One explanation here). Was it the platonic love on stage? The running all over the stage? The badly choreographed back-up singers? The firerain? I mean, it can’t be the song, right? This still remains a big question mark to me. I don’t know anybody who voted for this mediocre love song. Cause that’s what it was. Mediocre at best. No goosebumps, no emotional tears during their performance, and no WAWAWOOM moment, like when Pastora Soler rocked the stage in Baku. Nothing, nothing, nothing. And they won. Say what???!!
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Kristin Kristjans contributed this report from Iceland. You can keep up with the latest Eurovision news and gossip by following the team from wiwibloggs.com on Twitter @wiwibloggs and by liking our Facebook page.
Photo: Eurovision.tv (EBU)