If you’ve ever been texting in your hotel room and started dreaming about wearing leather while dancing, then you’ll totally relate to Eldar Qasimov’s new video for “The One”. Since winning Eurovision back in 2011, Eldar—with a little help from his Swedish producer friends—has churned out a series of forgettable dance tracks. They may not be high-impact, but they do provide some nice background music. The video for “The One” has the added bonus of a few WTF? moments. You can watch the video at the bottom of this post, but first here is our play-by-play.

It’s a story within a story. In the beginning we see Eldar sitting in his hotel room in his pajamas. He receives a text to go somewhere, which we soon learn is an abandoned warehouse. Fortunately it has just the right lighting for five of his friends to perform highly choreographed dance routines….

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…while Eldar vogues for the camera. He seems to enjoy his 1950s Grease bouffant. Or maybe he’s just smiling because the woman (above) has just revealed her Hello Kitty.

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We’re pretty sure the director of this video watched Hannah Mancini’s Eurovision 2013 performance, because this formation looks totally Slovenia.

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Anyway, they lyrics tell the story (okay, the very loose story) of a man who longs for “The One”. They seem to have a bit of history because they had “a bad start” and remain “too far apart”. But Eldar knows that he lied to himself and “now [he] can see” that she’s the one.

Who is she? She’s this chick in gold body paint who likes to dance inside boxes. They obvs borrowed her from Cirque du Soleil.

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Now Eldar was rul, rul lucky that him and Nikki didn’t have to dance in Düsseldorf. Instead they sort of circled the stage in elegant formations while a wind machine blew Nikki’s pretty hair all over the place. But in this video Eldar edges himself out and throws it down Eric Saade style. Okay, that’s an exaggeration. But he does try to throw something down. Now squat!

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Alas, the fanciful dancing and the woman in gold body paint are just a dream. Eldar wakes up and he’s all alone in his bedroom. A true Eurovision star, he still gives us a smile.

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You can watch the video below. You can also read the lyrics. We were able to transcibe the majority of them, but the third line is a little confusing. If you know what the XXXX is, please let us know!

Update: All y’all seem to agree that Eldar is saying “your staring eyes”. There you have it. Thanks!

The One Lyrics

In looking for this
I got to resist
Your staring eyes
keep following me

We got a bad start
We’re too far apart
I lied to myself
But now I can see

This time
When you came into my life
Made me feel like I’m
Falling…
Falling…

You’re the one, you make me feel alive
You’re the one, you gave wings to fly
You’re the one…
You’re the one….

You’re the one, you make me hold you tight
You’re the one who makes me feel alright
You’re the one…
You’re the one…

When I let you go
I just didn’t know
You touched my heart
Now I’m not the same

Since you walked away
Been missing the pain
Until today
I want you to stay

This time
Really want you in my life
Now I feel like I’m falling…
Falling…

You’re the one, you make me feel alive
You’re the one, you gave wings to fly
You’re the one…
You’re the one….

You’re the one, you make me hold you tight
You’re the one who makes me feel alright
You’re the one…
You’re the one…

Now what can I do?
I’m too lost in you
The feeling is true
I’m still lost in you

Oh….

You’re the one, you make me feel alive
You’re the one, you gave wings to fly
You’re the one…
The one….

You’re the one, you make me feel alive
You’re the one, you gave wings to fly
You’re the one…
You’re the one….

You’re the one, you make me hold you tight
You’re the one who makes me feel alright
You’re the one…
The one…

You’re the one, you make me feel alive
You’re the one, you gave wings to fly
You’re the one…
The one….

You’re the one, you make me hold you tight
You’re the one who makes me feel alright
You’re the one…
The one…

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Sema
Guest
Sema

Ell Superrrr love youu

Kath Lockett
Guest
Kath Lockett

LOVE THIS – am dancing whilst also trying to type 🙂

Robert
Guest
Robert

Super song and super clip

ILGAR HASANLI
Guest
ILGAR HASANLI

pretty catchy..good song though..i love that

ILGAR HASANLI
Guest
ILGAR HASANLI

pretty good though,quite catchy..i love that

MoOn-FLoWeR
Guest

ELDAR ELDAR ELDARRRRRRRRRR <3 <3<3

MoOn-FLoWeR
Guest

ELDAR ELDAR ELDARRRRRRRRRR

Charles
Guest
Charles

I like him … but seeing another singer doing a kind of dance pop song done millions and millions of times before is just boring and not interesting at all. People complain about ballads but not being able to complain about he repetitiveness of an uptempo song like this is just … hypocritical. This is too MF-esque a la David Lindgreen/Danny Saucedo … and in Eurovision this would flop like it happened to Ireland if Eldar represented any other country far away from Russia. But he’s from Azerbaijan and that already says everything.

Arianna
Guest

Meehh I prefer I’m Free. 😛

fikri
Guest
fikri

@Eurovisiondco: lol exactly! i’m scared it will leave me a mental scarrr

Eurovisiondco
Guest
Eurovisiondco

Actually scared to watch this .. Also I’m pretty sure “the one” for him has a penis

Will
Guest
Will

I heard “your staring eyes”, too.

Glen
Guest
Glen

I got ‘your staring eyes’ – he just pronounces ‘eyes’ like ‘ois’

Matthew Garcha
Guest
Matthew Garcha

XXXXX- your staring noice

I don’t even care what music he posts I just generally love his face.