Das schöne Deutschland has pretty much the perfect ESC record. They have attempted to participate in every Eurovision Song Contest since the VERY BEGINNING in 1956. Yes, that’s right. The beginning! Germany has been represented 57 times, more than any other country, and the only time that they weren’t in the final was in 1996 when their song failed to qualify past the pre-selection round. They’ve won the contest twice, in 1982 and of course in 2010, and they’ve hosted the contest three times. Even when they’re not hosting, they have a massive party anyway… and breathe! If there’s anything we’ve learned about Germany at the Eurovision Song Contest, it’s that they shouldn’t be messed with. They know how to play!
Finals Qualified for since 2009: Automatic Qualification as a Member of the Big Five.
2013: Cascada with “Glorious”, 21st place with 18 points
2012: Roman Lob with “Standing Still”, 8th place with 110 points
2011: Lena with “Taken by a Stranger”, 10th place with 107 points
2010: Lena with “Satellite”, 1st place with 246 points
2009: Alex Swings Oscar Sings with “Miss Kiss Kiss Bang”, 20th place with 35 points
– How many times did Roman Lob wail the words “Standing Still” in 2011? 17 times
– How many times did we see Natalie Horler to a Westlife style air grab in 2013? 15 times
– How many points has Germany given to the United Kingdom at Eurovision? 180 points
– How many points has Germany received from the United Kingdom at Eurovision? 168 points
Best Scoring Entry:
Lena with “Satellite”, 1st place with 246 points
2010 was the year we were introduced to Miss Lena Meyer-Landrut. The woman that would go on to win the competition, represent Germany AGAIN the year after, perform the year after that, and mess up the voting announcement the year after that! Eurovision without Lena is like Cezar without sparkles, and we’re certainly expecting her smiley face to be popping up again in Copenhagen. “Satellite” was where it all began, and after three years we’re still singing along to the rather strange lyrics.
Memorable lyrics: “I went everywhere for you, I even did my hair for you, I bought new underwear, they’re blue and I wore ’em just the other day” A little bit too much information there Lena! Also slightly stalker-ish…
Worst Scoring Entry:
Cascada with “Glorious”, 21st place with 18 points
Europe rejoiced when they heard the news that the world-famous dance band Cascada would be representing Germany at Eurovision. But it all went pretty downhill after that… Being sued, those awful live vocals and the staircase. Oh the staircase! We love Cascada and think Natalie has an amazing voice, but we were all disappointed with a 21st place finish. We expected a lot more from Cascada. THE Cascada!
Memorable lyrics: “Cause I, I wanna live before I die, crash and burn and lose my mind, we can set the world on fire” Crash and burn like you did at the Eurovision final? Okay, that was mean.
This is what Team Wiwi have to say about Germany’s recent entries:
Angus: I’m going to be controversial here and say that the Germans are not all they’ve been cracked up to be of late. If you strip away all the comparisons to the Big 5, they only had truly strong years 2010-11. I don’t rate Roman Lob and think he placed really highly with a boring song, and my opinions on Cascada have already been well-voiced on the blog. I’m not sure what other choices Germany had in 2012 but Roman just didn’t do anything for me. The song was catchy enough but he just sounded like a Jamie Cullum impersonator. He could also have at least dressed up for the occasion. Was a suit to much to ask for?
THAT BEING SAID, I adore Lena and both her entries. I think ‘Taken By A Stranger’ was a much better song than ‘Satellite’, and I suspect had she entered in 2011 with that song having not won the year before she’d have walked the Contest. It’s such a cool song. I can’t gush enough about how much I love it. It’s dark, moody and bewitching, like Lena herself. It has that ‘Euphoria’ quality to it, but I think Lena going into the Contest after having a cute song like ‘Satellite’ just confused people and put them off. They expected sugary sweet when all she could give them was bitterness. I fricking loved it, and her, and wish Germany would send more stuff like it. They’re so much better than the generic stuff they sent in 2012-13.
Oh reference point for mine, I loved No Angels song. And Alex Swings…who could fail to live, “LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, DITA VON TEESE,” even though no-one to this day knows who she is.
Padraig: From class clown to star pupil, that’s how I’d describe Germany’s recent Eurovision record. The 00’s wasn’t a great time for German entries and more often than not they found themselves floundering near the bottom of the leader board. But then Lena came along and ushered in the 10’s with a bang, and what a bang it was. “Satellite” is probably my favourite Eurovision song of all time (although occasionally, depending on my mood, “Euphoria” might shove it off the top spot). A simple, gimmick free, pop classic about a young woman buying blue underwear to impress her boyfriend? What more could you want?
Ever since, Germany has brought its A-game. And even Cascada’s supposed dud is leagues ahead of some of the trudge Germany offered in the past. Are people forgetting how awful Alex Swings and No Angels were? I really hope that this year was just a blip and Germany return to the right (aka left) side of the table in 2014. I really don’t want them to revert back to their 00s nadir.
David: To date there is a single Eurovision song my middle daughter likes – and that’s No Angels. She has it in her iPhone while declaring all other ESC tunes “awful.” And I like it too.
Mike: I am also still listening to No Angels and Texas Lightning. They deserved much better place than where they ended up! I am also very pleased with how Germany chooses its performer. In 2013 they asked well-known artists to write a song, just like France and UK. But Germany asks the performers first to write the song and then the country can choose their favorite. When they choose their songs like this, I think they deserve the good placings like in 2010, 2011, and 2012.
Wiwi: Lena is my gurrrrrrl. I’ve already discussed why “Satellite” is deeper than folks think it is. And I think the staging of her 2011 entry “Taken By A Stranger” is one of the best of all time. It’s minimalist and stirring and monochrome, just like a Jil Sander collection. I also really loved Roman Lob’s “Standing Still.” It may lack the thrills (and cleavage) of a Lena or Cascada number, but it’s simple chorus and lyrics actually mask a rather complex argument. You can read more about this here. But the song’s most important semantic shift takes place at 1:47 when the chorus switches from “but I’m standing still” to “’cause I’m standing still.” “But” suggests confusion. “Because” suggests volition. He has the power to act, but chooses not to. For a heart-broken young man keen to start the next chapter in his life, “Standing Still” is actually about moving forward. That’s deep, y’all.
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Photo: Eurovision.tv (EBU)