If you think “Moustache” is a load of nonsense, then the joke is on you. Whoa, even as I typed that last sentence, I could feel the sharp intake of breath as over sensitive Euro-fans harrumphed at their screens. But before y’all head straight to the comments, take a moment to compose yourselves and listen to the song in question.

http://youtu.be/Z_78Z6xxN9s

So? What do you think? I bet loads of you didn’t understand any of it bar “I wanna have a moustache”. And in an automatic knee jerk reaction many will have decided that it is a joke unworthy of the Eurovision stage. Yet another song naysayers can use to bash our beloved contest. ENOUGH!!!

I appreciate that Eurovision is precious to y’all. But seriously, there comes a point where you need to get out of the power ballad and dance pop safety net. Zlata Ognevich rattles on about butterflies and swords for 3 minutes and no one bats an eyelid. She’s a lovely lady in a beige dress. Who cares if she’s singing gibberish? Twin Twin arrive with a chart ready pop belter and there’s hullabaloo because they mention facial hair. The horror!

Well folks, it’s time to calm down. I can assure you that Twin Twin are not spouting rubbish. “Moustache” is in fact a critique of the materiality of modern society. The song’s protagonist sings about his fancy car, his penthouse flat and expensive cologne. His body is a temple and his wardrobe is crammed full of clothes. Yet despite all of this he wants a moustache. Now clearly, this is a satire. Any post pubescent man should be well capable of cultivating one. But that’s not the point. Moustache could be substituted for any number of things – friends, love, happiness. The message is simple, no matter how much you have, you’ll always want something more. Are you still doubtful? Take a look at what the band themselves have said on the matter.

They’ve even convinced Amandine Bourgeois, the most serious and moody singer ever, to support them. Judging from her performance of “L’enfer et Moi” she’s not a woman who would tolerate jokers.

Amandine Supports Twin Twin France 2014

So next time you feel the urge to slam “Moustache” pause for a moment. If you simply don’t like their style of music fire away, it’s a free world. But don’t say they’re a joke act, because that’s just gonna make you look silly.

Keep scrolling and read the lyrics for yourselves.  And as always share your thoughts below.

Photo: Twin Twin

French Lyrics

Quelque chose me manques, mais quoi?
Je veux ci, je veux ça
Quand j’dors, j’fait des rêves en dollars
Tout les jours, j’ai un nouveau costard
.
Chez moi tout est neuf, tout est beau
Le monde pleure derrière mes rideaux
J’m’en fous j’habite au dernier étage
J’connais même pas ma femme de ménage
.
Il y a du cuir, dans ma voiture
L’odeur de mon parfum me rassure
Je n’aime pas montrer mes émotions
à la salle de musculation
.
Je soulève quelques poids et haltères
Mon corps est une machine de guerre
J’ai tout ce qu’on rêverait d’avoir
J’ai peut-être tout c’est vrai mais
.
Moi j’voulais une moustache
Moustache x6
I wanna have a moustache, a moustache,
a moustache, quiera un bigote
.
Refrain:
Je veux ci je veux ça
Il y en a jamais assez pour moi
C’est comme ci c’est comme ça
Il y a toujours un truc que j’ai pas
[x2]
.
Je veux ci je veux ça
C’est comme ci c’est comme ça
Je veux ci je veux ça
C’est comme ci c’est comme ça
Il y a toujours un truc que j’ai pas
.
Alors j’en rajoute encore
Des tonnes de choses derrière mes placards
J’ai des amis quand même
Et même j’ai des amis qui m’aiment
.
J’me dis j’ai tout pour plaire
J’ai tout pour, j’ai le monde à mes pieds
C’est fou
J’ai tout ce qu’on rêverait d’avoir
J’ai peut-être tout c’est vrai mais
.
Moi j’voulais une moustache
Moustache x6
I wanna have a moustache, a moustache,
a moustache, quiera un bigote
.
Refrain:
Je veux ci je veux ça
Il y en a jamais assez pour moi
C’est comme ci c’est comme ça
Il y a toujours un truc que j’ai pas
[x2]
.
J’donnerais tout ce que j’ai
Contre une moustache
Maintenant je sais
C’que j’veux c’est
Une moustache
.
J’pourrais tout laisser
Tout donner
Pour une moustache
J’ai peut-être tout c’est vrai
Mais pas ce que je voulais
.
Refrain:
Je veux ci je veux ça
Il y en a jamais assez pour moi
C’est comme ci c’est comme ça
Il y a toujours un truc que j’ai pas
[x2]
.
Mais moi j’voulais une moustache

English Translation

I miss something, but what?
I want this, I want that
When I sleep, I dream of dollars
Everyday I have a new suit
.
With me everything is new, everything is beautiful
The world weeps behind my curtains
I do not care I live on the top floor
I do not even know my housekeeper
.
There’s leather in my car
The smell of my fragrance reassures me
I don’t like showing my emotions
At the gym
.
I lift some weights
My body is a war machine
I have everything you dream to have
I may be all that is true but
.
I want a moustache
Moustache x6
I wanna have a moustache, a moustache,
a moustache, want a moustache
.
Chorus:
I want this, I want that
There’s never enough for me
It’s like this, it’s like that
There is always something I don’t have
[x2]
.
I want this, I want that
It’s like this, it’s like that
I want this, I want that
It’s like this, it’s like that
There is always something I don’t have
.
So I still add
Tonnes of things behind my closet
I have friends still
And I even have friends who love me
.
I tell myself I have it all
I have everything, I have the world at my feet
This is crazy
I have everything you dream you have
I may be all that is true but
.
I want a moustache
Moustache x6
I wanna have a moustache, a moustache,
a moustache, want a moustache
.
Chorus:
I want this, I want that
There’s never enough for me
It’s like this, it’s like that
There is always something I don’t have
[x2]
.
I’d give everything I have
for a moustache
Now I know
What I want is
a moustache
.
I’d leave everything
Give it all
For a moustache
I may be all that is true
But this is not what I wanted
.
Chorus:
I want this, I want that
There’s never enough for me
It’s like this, it’s like that
There is always something I don’t have
[x2]
.
But I wanted a moustache

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Kevin
Guest
Kevin

I still find it a stupid song. I understand the concept about the singer having damn near everything in the world. But he never mentions a girlfriend. Maybe instead of moustache he said girlfriend, it may not have done so poorly.

Partygirl
Guest
Partygirl

I LOVE this song – I can’t stop moving when i hear it. In my book they are the winners!!!

The Man!
Guest
The Man!

F***ing love it!!!!! Perfect for the gym for the summer and for partying!!!! What more do u need!?!? Should have won!!!!!

adam
Guest
adam

Gutted here in Australia. Best song of the contest. The best songs never win, but this should have done better. Hope the guys are proud of their blistering song and fine performance. They have great company alongside Les Fatal Picards and Sebastien Tellier as the great French underappreciated overachievers of recent Eurovision.

Moi
Guest
Moi

Well I’m French and all I can say is that it will be:
France, nil point!!!

Audre
Guest
Audre

LOOOOVE IT! :DDD

Myles
Guest
Myles

This song is worse than Latvia’s

Cristian
Guest
Cristian

But If you listen the 0:58 you can hear: “Quería un bigote”

marina
Guest
marina

Please, correct lyrics. In spanish it is : “quería un bigote”

Musillo
Guest
Musillo

“Quiera un bigote” should be “Queria un bigote”

Dhani
Guest

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6a5xix1kzvg
listen to this song, it’s at least as catchy as moustache!!

Dez
Guest

I would be happy whomever France sends to Copenhagen, so choosing Twin Twin is actually great. I liked the three songs in contention, and at the end of the day Europe will decide whether or not the song chosen will do well at the contest. We can say whatever we want about it, but I’ll be backing Twin Twin even though I can’t vote (which I guess it’s a good thing).

Alex
Guest
Alex

Thanks for this article, Padraig. @Charles, my favorite person to debate with: “Then … if feeling unhappy for not being “free” to wear a beard of a moustache in your working place is such a heartbreaking theme to put into song, why not going the all way though and just sing about “I wanna go naked to work … ” why not? It seems to be a traumatizing issue in the minds of these kids, right? Because these are the really serious issues of our time and society, right? ” Well, they’re creating a satire of the fact that some… Read more »

Xaris
Guest
Xaris

I do not care about the message of the song, believe me. I know that it is a very catchy song and I like it. And this song can go France much higher. I am pretty satisfied a lot of people like it as I can through the internet.

Srebrenko
Guest
Srebrenko

Well, if you want them, I don’t mind, but as “D” said: I don’t think the message is very special anyways… 🙂

Xaris
Guest
Xaris

Twin twin will rock Copenhagen!!! For sure!,

Z24
Guest
Z24

There’s a double standard in Eurovision.

Stupid, shallow and superficial on a dance track = Stupid, Shallow and Superficial
Stupid, shallow and superficial on a diabetic ballad = Beautiful Brilliance

Same with unusual metaphors or a message

Not all ballads are shallow and superficial, but when people preferred Yasmina’s “I still Believe” over 3 For All’s “Together Forever” over theme, you know there’s a double standard.

bav
Guest
bav

Destan 6/10
Twin Twin 4/10

bav
Guest
bav

Ok, this is not weak, but average. Still worse than Destan.

Charles
Guest
Charles

Then … if feeling unhappy for not being “free” to wear a beard of a moustache in your working place is such a heartbreaking theme to put into song, why not going the all way though and just sing about “I wanna go naked to work … ” why not? It seems to be a traumatizing issue in the minds of these kids, right? Because these are the really serious issues of our time and society, right? You know what … I appreciate a good joke but when shaped in the form of music I expect something far more adult-believable,… Read more »

Charles
Guest
Charles

@Jade: Sorry to disappoint you but coming from me, someone who grew up with an early and old school Eurovision, I can clearly tell you that what hardcore ESC fans want in Eurovision is everything but ballads, that I can tell you. And if anyone witnessed the music downfall in Eurovision but the enlargement of its show aspect in the 2000 decade where crap like Lordi or Ruslana won due to popularity and not music quality, ballads were vacuum-cleaned with ease to be thrown into the garbage. Except for those Serbian and Bosnian ballads or Chiara’s Angel. But nothing more… Read more »

Robyn
Guest
Robyn

BTW, this song has introduced me to the amazing French term “salle de musculation”. So much cooler than the boring English “gym”!

Zolan
Guest
Zolan

You could compare it to “Alcohol is Free,” but it’s not remotely as sophisticated. Although I could believe that Agathonas’ moustache provided the inspiration.

Jade
Guest
Jade

I love your comment about Zlata and it’s true. Fans of Eurovision only want ballads sang by pretty women. Satire is a form of comedy though in a way so Moustache does take the Michael as it were but I know Twin Twin are not a joke act and are really bloody fantastic.. Vive La Vie is a fab album. I love songs with any form of humour in it. Makes the contest interesting. 26 ballads in a row? Will drive anyone crazy and people at home will simply turn off. Now Russia’s song last year was a joke. A… Read more »

dhani
Guest

i would be happy if either twin twin or joanna represents france in cph

Charles
Guest
Charles

I found this overpassionate defence for this entry due to their lyrics just out of proportion … in a few words, the person who wrote this just wants to say “I want Twin Twin in Eurovision. Period”. We get that … it’s not by showcasing the already clear and obvious lyrics (some people here do understand French, you know) and it’s not due to their contrast between looking silly and childish on stage with a simple reflection on a serious theme that prevents some of us from thinking this is still a joke … if you want to deal with… Read more »

Arianna
Guest

When they presented it, I understood it, but comedy of it still makes me interpret it as how they’ve got all that stuff & the joke is that a moustache would the cherry on top 😛 But I also get how it’s a neverending cycle. Some privileged people get their moustache and then want something moar moar moar moar moarrr!!11!

Just like how record companies decide to release multiple versions of a song across many platforms so people pay more.

Grifit
Guest
Grifit

by the way, poor Destan, nobody talks about them jajaja

Grifit
Guest
Grifit

Ok my opinion on the lyrics changed I can apreciate it now… but still I don’t like the song, it is not the lyrics, it is the song, I just don’t like it

joey
Guest
joey

There are some IDIOTIC IDIOTS who couldn’t appreciate something….i bet they do not appreciate other entries as much!!!

TWIN TWIN for FRANCE!!!

Mex
Guest
Mex

In the end, they will sing in French (if CPH happens) and Europe will not understand them because of their “silly” pop tune. Well, needless to say, France, better luck next time.

Melissa J
Guest

It could also be satirical–there’s always something you want, even if it’s silly seeming as a moustache. This song grows on me the more I listen to it. I can’t even remember what the other two sound like. It’s a big departure from last year, but I think it could do really well at Eurovision.

D
Guest
D

I don’t really care what the message behind the song is since I don’t like the song itself. I don’t think the message is very special anyways since it’s something that’s been displayed in media so often, a rich person who has many material things but lacking something else. I’ll be rooting for Joanna in France, but I don’t really care for any of the three songs.

Robyn
Guest
Robyn

Somehow the character of this song reminds me a bit of Patrick Bateman from ‘American Psycho’ (!). Someone who is very rich, very successful, has worked very hard to get all the finest things in life, but yet… Also, I have friends who have very serious jobs and for whom it wouldn’t be appropriate to grow a facial hair. I also think of people like that – they can’t have a moustache or a visible tattoo. And as a lady, I must admit I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a luxuriant moustache… But yeah, this songs… Read more »

Anthony Ko
Editor

Ironically, the Metro’s Caroline Westbrook included Twin Twin’s “Moustache” as one of the oddest songs aiming to compete at this year’s Eurovision Song Contest. That’s according to an article she written yesterday.