Today the Wiwi Jury — our in-house panel of music unprofessionals — headed to Norway on a search for schlager music. We ended up in a barn and eventually found Contrazt. Does their song “Heaven” sound like heaven on earth or paradise lost? Read on to find out…

Contrazt — “Heaven”

Angus: I’m a sucker for vintage Schlager and this verges on ABBA territory. Dated? Certainly. Enjoyable? Absolutely.

Score: 6/10

Colin: This song is so old and so boring. Anita can sing but her vocals do not elevate this song to amazing.

Score: 3/10

Deban: Their style of music was already out of date when they formed in 2004. A decade later, they’ve regressed further. “Heaven” is written by accomplished Danish songwriters Jan Lysdahl and Jacob Launbjerg — they were behind some of the big hits of Carola and Johnny Logan. As accomplished international songwriters, their work has generated number one’s as far afield as the USA, Korea and Japan. Unfortunately, to enjoy a taste of “Heaven”, you’ll need a tardis to transport you back to 1974.

Score: 3/10

Max: On the cheese scale of cheddar to stinky bishop this leans toward the latter. ‘You’re my heaven on Earth’ is one of the cringeiest lines that you could put into a song and Contrazt is as guilty as sin. Yes, it’s a lovely tune and is complimented by the lead singer’s countrified voice but there’s something missing. It just isn’t strong: It needs some more oomph!

Score: 6.5/10

Patrick: I kinda like the dated style and melody – it’s not a Eurovision song for 2015, more like 1995, but it’s fancy and includes a lovely story. Anita has a nice voice and I think they will appeal to the Norwegian people, especially the 40+ demographic! I like it, and it’s probably a middle-field song!

Score: 6/10

Renske: We have found it! That one song in Norsk Melodi Grand Prix that is so Eurovision that it’s like a tribute to Norway’s entire history at Eurovision. Still, I think it’s quite catchy and cute. It could be the theme song of MGP!

Score: 7/10

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Josh: I actually love this, probably too much. It’s cheesier than a roll of Camembert, but you can cut me a slice, whack it on a cracker and I will devour it! I admit, it does lack power, but other than that, I am (shamefully) loving this.

Score: 6/10

Francheska: I can’t say I totally hate it. It’s jazzy, but I wouldn’t listen to it for a long period of time. It belongs in a 1980s teen romcom and meant for sporadic instances and full-on schmaltz. This song does not come from this century! I really should hate this, and I know that it wouldn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell to place in the top 10 in Vienna, but I can’t help but like it. Excuse me while I twirl to this song in a floral dress and act positively giddy.

Score: 8/10

Sopon: One of two songs in this year’s selection that fits better in the schlager era of ESC than today’s era: hence why they are called “Contrazt”. It’s not going to work at all!

Score: 1/10

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James: OK, so there’s a clear orchestral appeal. And we know which market this band is going to cater for – an absolute given. Lyrics are clichéd and I would have preferred to see them sing in Norwegian, which is what the band usually does and does rather well, at that. The ending is absolutely crass and disappointing – duh-duh-duh-duh. How inspirational. I’m glad to hear something different but if this goes anywhere, I will stop buying brunost from the Nordic corner shop here in Edinburgh in protest.

Score: 1/10

Robyn: If Contrazt snuck into the Eventim Apollo and burst on stage to perform this at Eurovision’s Greatest Hits, no one in the audience would bat an eyelid, happily remembering “Heaven” as a Eurovision hit from the ’80s. This song belongs in the ESC retirement village.

Score: 2/10

Ramadan: This could do really well — at Eurovision 1972. It’s a wet fart for me — uncomfortable and embarassing.

Score: 1/10 

Anthony: If we were in the 1970s of the Eurovision Song Contest, I could see this doing very well for Norway. But we’re in the 21st century in the year 2015. Contrazt is a very sweet group and I can imagine finding myself being charmed by their stage presence in the arena, evoking fond memories of the vintage Eurovision Schlager years. Sadly, I fear they’ll end up getting lost in the end.

Score: 6.5/10

The highest and lowest scores are removed before calculating the final score. We have dropped a low of 1 and a high of 8.

The Wiwi Jury Verdict: 4.38/10

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Amerivision Fan
Amerivision Fan
7 years ago

It’s so cheesy! This sounds like the title song of a 80s sitcom! I even prefer the Pizza song over this!

Otna
Otna
7 years ago

Definitely in my Norwegian Bottom Three TBH.

Alex
Alex
7 years ago

Yeah I wasn’t a fan of this either… I’m not against retro, though. Bon Voyage was a pretty good retro song in the Finnish selection.

Mario -The Vision of Gay Love -*Heaven* Is NOT A Place On Earth!
Mario -The Vision of Gay Love -*Heaven* Is NOT A Place On Earth!
7 years ago

Not bad song here…But not a really good one either…Just ok..
4/10

Random.sage 2.0
Random.sage 2.0
7 years ago

I can’t leave that song alone! None of these songs are Eurovision winners but Heaven stuck to me instantly!