This week the Wiwi Jury — our in-house panel of music unprofessionals — met up and rated the six songs of the first heat of Uuden Musiikin Kilpailu (UMK) 2016, Finland’s selection for Eurovision 2016. Today we listened to Stella Christine with “Ain’t Got Time For Boys”. Did we have more than just three minutes for Stella? Read what we had to say!
Stella Christine – “Ain’t Got Time For Boys”
“Ain’t Got Time For Boys” Reviews:
William: I’m not sure the boys will have time for you after listening to this. It’s got a languid, coming-down-from-the-high feel that depresses rather than inspires. Sleepy and drowsy, it just leaves me with nothing.
Edd: It’s inoffensive enough – nice voice and professional production. It just leaves me flat. It’s the kind of song you listen to during exam revision because you know it’s not going to distract you too much. The only way I can see this doing well is if she plays up the lesbian card big-time.
Sam: What a snore. Stella Christine has made an entry easy enough to listen to, but while incorporating the “girl power theme” ever so popular in music today, has not taken any risks. It’s barely memorable, and will not qualify if the staging is just as dreary.
Sinan: I like the song, but I’m not sure if it is the best song to be sent to Stockholm. I’m loving the rap part, though.
Luis: Alicia Keys and Elina Born had a baby… that didn’t inherit any of their artistry. As much as Stella Christine tries, this song sounds flat, and as if you had heard it millions of times in the last 15 years. Even her name is undistinguished. Now, let me be as predictable as her song: as a guy, I ain’t got time for her either.
Robyn: This song reminds me of a late ’90s R&B pop song, like early Destiny’s Child. But unlike the quality songwriting of Beyonce and pals, “Ain’t Got Time For Boys” doesn’t really go anywhere. It’s like Stella Christine is telling us over and over that she ain’t got time for boys because boys. The worst thing, though – the song feels much longer than three minutes.
Kristin: She ain’t got time for boys? Well, me neither. I only make time for MEN. And I ain’t got time for this 2005 reject of a song. And why was that guy breakdancing in the middle of what is trying to by a slow R&B guitar strumming number? It also seems that Stella isn’t quite sure where she gets her influences. There was an Adele there and then some Beyoncé, and then she tried a Christina Aguilera, but the whole thing was a hot mess. Honestly, I’m completely lost here, and I’ve decided to go and get coffee and move on to the next song. Over and out.
Antranig: Stella Christine exudes star power and “Ain’t Got Time for Boys” is a perfect example of stripped back easy listening. This is definitely not the type of song Eurovision is known for and it probably wouldn’t do too well there, but it’s still superb — just not the right song to send to Stockholm if Finland is aiming high.
Max: “Ain’t Got Time for Boys” is a sweet song and Stella Christine is a sweet singer. Yet together they do not make for a Eurovision hit. This is the song that no one would dislike as well as the entry that no one would pick up the phone to vote for. It’s syrupy, self-indulgent and undeniably cute, but certainly not the best option for Finland.
In the Finnish Wiwi Jury we have 17 jurors but only have room for 9 reviews. The remaining eight scores are below!
The highest and lowest scores are dropped prior to calculating the average score. This is to remove outliers and reduce potential bias. We have removed a low of 2 and a high of 9.
WIWI JURY SCORE: 4.73/10