Misheard lyrics are a fundamental part of Eurovision. Whether you do a double take because you hear your favourite artist singing about how we are the worst people or calling their partner a slut, it wouldn’t be Eurovision without those WTF moments. So, as the 2016 national finals season draws to a close, we’ve put together a list of 10 misheard lyrics.
1. Boris René — “Put Your Love on Me” (Sweden)
What we heard: “You got my heart in a litter box.”
Correct lyric: “You got my heart in a little box.”
We’re not sure why Boris René’s lover has put his heart in a litter box, but we’re asking her to give it back immediately. You can hear the line first at 0:47, which makes it difficult not to hear Boris singing about the litter box for the rest of the song. Meoooow.
2. NuAngels — “Higher” (Ukraine)
What we heard: “I should have read the sign, I saw the old man.”
Correct lyric: “I should have read the sign, I saw the omen.”
With a performance filled with girl-on-girl sexual tension, these ladies certainly don’t need an old man in their lives. That didn’t stop us from thinking they were singing about one in the very first line of their song. We’re hoping this lyric is secretly about the jurors with whom the NuAngels ladies were not too impressed. That’s some futuristic time travel shade-throwing realness, right there.
3. Natasha Bogdanova — “Hello” (Belarus)
What we heard: “I’ll become the heaviest person in the world.”
Correct lyric: “I’ll become the happiest person in the world.”
Natasha Bogdanova might not have made it past the auditions in Belarus, but she certainly left an impression. “Hello” is a wonderful tale of Natasha’s desire to gain weight. We hope to see her back at the auditions next year — bigger and better than ever! This zinger comes at 2:56.
4. LiZZA — “Psycho” (Austria)
What we heard: “You can break a sword in me.”
Correct lyric: “You can’t break us or defeat us.”
The Wiwi Jury thought “Psycho” was missing an element of crazy. On closer examination of the lyrics, however, we found out that the song does in fact touch on LiZZA’s stranger kinks. We’re happy she’s comfortable sharing them with us. You can listen to her playing with her sword at 0:49.
5. Xuso Jones — “Victorious” (Spain)
What we heard: “Just another cock in the machine.”
Correct lyric: “Just another cog in the machine.”
Xuso sings about being just another cock in the machine. The only question that remains is what type of machine he is referring to. There is no shortage of Eurovision fans eager to find out. You can hear this misheard lyric at 1:22.
6. Nilsa Hysi — “Asaj” (Albania)
What we heard: “Essaï… Essaï… Essaï…”
Correct lyric: “Asaj… Asaj… Asaj…”
Three months after we first heard Nilsa Hysi’s “Asaj”, we’re still not sure whether or not this is a love song for Armenia’s Essaï — one of the members of Genealogy. Either way, those choruses are full of raw emotion and you can decide who she’s calling out for at 1:12.
7. Mimi Werner — “Ain’t No Good” (Sweden)
What we heard: “Wish that I could just catch shit, put it in my eye.”
Correct lyric: “Wish that I could just count sheep but in my mind…”
My mama warned me, it ain’t a mystery why Mimi walked out the Melfest door in the first Semi Final. Sweden is just not ready for songs about errant fecal matter. We’re hoping they will be more open-minded the next time Mimi takes a turn on the Melfest stage. You can hear her take on it at 0:24.
8. Dolly Style — “Rollercoaster” (Sweden)
What we heard: “Upside down, we’re going inside out. Either way, I’m ready to blow tonight.”
Correct lyric: “Upside down, we’re going inside out. Either way, our way to go tonight.”
Dolly Style have left the double entendre of “you will hear me when I come” behind them and decided to keep things relatively classy this year. Whatever their lyrics, we are ready to #ComeTogether. You can hear this one at 0:29.
9. Sasha Zakharik — “Glory Night” (Belarus)
What we heard: “Just cum inside… glory hole.”
Correct lyrics: “So calm and so bright… glo-glo-glory night.”
Every so often there’s a song in which there are so many misheard lyrics that we’re not sure which version is correct anymore. Sasha Zakharik fits the bill and her song “Glory Hole” — I mean “Glory Night” — is packed with some hidden gems. You can listen to our favourite moment at 2:37.
10. Jasmine Abela — “Alive” (Malta)
What we heard: “Don’t give up ’cause you’re a bottom.”
Correct lyric: “Don’t give up ’cause you’re a fighter.”
At Eurovision we’ve had songs aiming to empower everyone from women to the LGBT community — and you could be forgiven for thinking we’ve heard it all before. However, Malta’s Jasmine Abela came up with an original idea — a song that sought to empower a very narrow demographic. If this speaks to you, take Jasmine’s advice at 1:47 and don’t give up!
What do you think of our misheard lyrics? What lyrics have you misheard? Let us know in the comments below.