Yesterday the Wiwi Jury — our in-house panel of music unprofessionals — travelled to the United Kingdom and journeyed all the way to the Orkney Islands. At the neolithic settlement Skara Brae we discussed Joe & Jake‘s song “You’re Not Alone”. Did we feel the togetherness? Or did it leave us feeling isolated? Read on to find out!

Joe and Jake – “You’re Not Alone”

“You’re Not Alone” reviews

Sami: “You’re Not Alone” wasn’t my favourite before the national final, but the boys shot to the top of my list after their live performance. This is the United Kingdom’s best chance at doing well in forever. Joe and Jake are both very likeable, they have great voices and they seem to enjoy performing. The song is a nice anthemic pop track and although it starts to get repetitive towards the end, I still enjoy these three minutes.

Score: 8/10

Deban: The ‘United Kingdom’ label is loaded with high expectations when it comes to music. Sadly, this falls mightily short. Joe and Jake strum a good tune, albeit a forgettable one. Like two cute plumbers on the loose, they show up and get the job done. However, there is no disguising the fact that this is a pedestrian effort at best.

Score: 4.5/10

Bogdan: “You’re Not Alone” was my favourite song in the national selection and I was so happy when Joe and Jake won, defying the odds in the process. Despite the cheesy lyrics and somewhat awkward delivery of two apparently straight guys singing about not being alone, this song had the most easily identifiable British sound. It’s a step in the right direction for the UK. Next year, let’s try what’s left of One Direction perhaps?

Score: 8/10

Angus: So this is a galaxy away from Electro Velvet and for that Joe & Jake are to be applauded. “You’re Not Alone” sounds British, bounces in all the right places and positions itself with not entirely unsubtle nods to Coldplay. The studio is slathered in autotune and that weakness was exposed on stage. This needs more harmonies, which may come with backing dancers, but also needs more choreography. “You’re Not Alone” at least has the promise of putting the UK back in the top 20.

Score: 5.5/10

Diego: I’ve not had too much confidence in the UK lately. I was pleased with Molly Smitten-Downes a few years ago, but that’s it. This is a stereotypical good-vibes pop song — just like so many others I’ve heard during my life. I’m glad the UK is taking it seriously but it’s just not enough.

Score: 5/10

William: This is just so British! Despite the obvious nod to Coldplay, Joe and Jake are doing their own thing and delivering a mainstream, radio-friendly song. The production sounds expensive and their voices blend really well. I worry the song gets a tad repetitive, but hopefully they can add shape and variety during their live performance in Stockholm. It’s not going to win Eurovision and may struggle to reach the left-hand side of the scoreboard, but this is a credible song and an act that UK fans could rightly get behind as they wave their flashlights. Let’s hope the BBC don’t sabotage them with staging.

Score: 5/10

Kristin: And the awards for being the most adorable contestants go to… dadadamm.. Joe and Jake! And I honestly don’t get this everlasting hate towards UK! People were whining about the internal selection, so the BBC threw a national final. And then people started whining about “the lack of quality”. Take a chill pill! “You’re not alone” is a sweet song, performed by even sweeter guys. And a well deserved winner of You Decide. J&J practically ooze charm and are beyond likeable. I’m rooting for this and for the UK. Bam!

Score: 8.5/10

Judit: Joe and Jake, my sweethearts — they are too cute, and I’d give them points just because of this. The song is what I’d expect from them. Because of Adele and One Direction, we always hope that the UK will send a big name, but it’s not gonna happen. Take a breath and enjoy this song. At least they’re not sending a singer they had to dig up from the ground.

Score: 5/10

Padraig: After last year’s fiasco, it’s as if the BBC have done everything in their power to avoid any further embarrassment. “You’re Not Alone” marks the UK’s safest entry for years, and that’s not necessarily a good thing. Because, while the track is perfectly acceptable and actually reflects what’s in the charts, it’s just marginally better than mediocre. Completely lacking in imagination, the song plods along merrily without any detours. Fans of distinctly British pop might vote for it… if only Sweden weren’t showcasing the genre better.

Score: 5/10

Robyn: I like Joe and Jake and I like the direction the BBC have taken with the national selection, but I’m a lot less enthusiastic about the song. “You’re Not Alone” comes across as a by-the-numbers Eurovision song, calculated to hit emotional cues and fill three minutes. It’s a million times better than “Still in Love with You”, but it still feels like the UK is keeping their really good tunes well away from Eurovision. My biggest fear is that Team UK will stage the song like a basic rock concert, ignoring all the potential for televisual magic.

Score: 7/10

Tobias: As with France, I’m glad that UK have stepped up and finally started to take this contest more seriously. Sadly I like the studio version better than the live performance. Joe and Jake are two good looking guys but I’m not very impressed by their voices and the stage performance.

Score: 5/10

Zakaria: Clearly, this is a huge improvement from last year’s disaster, but it’s still very far from UK standards. Their voices are not strong and get easily drowned in the background music. Plus they seem disconnected from the public and the viewers. There’s one word to describe this: insipid.

Score: 3/10

In the Wiwi Jury we have 40 jurors but only have room for 12 reviews. The remaining 28 scores are below.

Anthony: 6.5/10

Antranig: 4.5/10

Bernardo: 6/10

Chris: 6/10

Cristian: 7/10

David: 6.5/10

Dayana: 7.5/10

Denise: 6.5/10

Edd: 8.5/10

Forrest: 4/10

George: 4.5/10

Gökhan: 6.5/10

Jason: 5.5/10

Josh: 6/10

Liam: 6.5/10

Luis: 6/10

Marek: 3/10

Maria: 5/10

Mario: 4/10

Max: 6.5/10

Mike: 5.5/10

Mikhail: 7/10

Patrick: 6/10

Renske: 7.5/10

Rezo: 4/10

Sinan: 10/10

Steinunn: 5/10

William C: 5.5/10

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The highest and lowest scores are dropped prior to calculating the average score. This is to remove outliers and reduce potential bias. We have removed a low of 3 and a high of 10.

WIWI JURY SCORE: 5.88/10

SEE OUR CURRENT EUROVISION 2016 REVIEWS AND RANKINGS

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CookyMonzta
Guest
CookyMonzta

Alas…They would have had better luck with Bianca. My #29 (last in the Grand Final) after my first review.

Ron
Guest
Ron

In recent memory, the only UK entries that I liked were Blue in 2011 and Molly in 2014. Both were great entries and definitely underrated. Other than that, UK has been having a terrible run in Eurovision because they send just awful entries.

ESCaddict
Guest
ESCaddict

I really want to like this song. Joe & Jake are great guys and the UK needs some encouragement.
I tried to like this song but I can’t. It lacks a decent hook. It’s 3 minutes I could spend listening to a good song.
Currently rank “You’re Not Alone” 40 of 43.

Marek Gladysz
Member

I literally cannot believe that my score was the lowest one, wtf. It’s not that good. They’re just pretty.

David Who
Guest
David Who

@Alex. Thanks. I must be getting old. All those ear infections. 🙂
B major it is then. A calm sort of happy.

Ian from the philipines
Guest

Esc fans hating the uk entry is like finding sheep in Wales. There are so many, it fade is the background. Look at the uk in Eurovision. They had a bad 16 years but there bright spots. This is one of them. Yes it’s safe but when the beeb took risk it was a heavily bad experience. Looking in this pass 3 years with guy freeman in charge. I think they were trying it get a national selection in the outset. The higher ups of the BBC said a big no and guy sent electro velvet and they said yes.… Read more »

Matt
Guest
Matt

I would have given it more than a 5, I think that it’s up beat, fun and If it gets the audience dancing or being happy then what more could you want ?
Also I’ve subbmitted my selfie to be a part of the stageing I hope I get accepted!! ???? ????

Jerome
Guest
Jerome

5/10
NNM song. Very inoffensive, very safe entry. Positive message, sung reasonably well live. Miles better than what BBC did last year. While it’s a step in the positive direction for them, it’s only a small step. I ranked this the least favourable out of the Big 5 nations but not out of the auto-finalists this year. I don’t expect this to do well but at least a better placing than last year.

K&R
Guest
K&R

The UK has always put the standards so high that is even more evident than in any other country that you guys have lowered the quality of your entries lately.

I’m not considering this one of the worst entries of this year, but the staging will be critical to find out if this is going to clinch a respectable position or in fact be a last 5 result.

Robyn Gallagher
Editor

GEF: What are your scores for “Miracle” and “The Last of Our Kind”?

Alex
Guest
Alex

David Who, I have perfect pitch, and just to let you know, you’re off by a half step. The key is B major. You were off by a half step in another post too 😉

Alex
Guest
Alex

Pretty forgettable song, although the U2-like electric guitar sticks out. On the bright side, the guys can sing for sure and may even have some of the nicest voices in the contest.

cutie
Guest
cutie

Okay, whoever in their review just suggested they get backing dancers, please stop because we all know the BBC just can’t do backing dancers. The song is decent, we all know we could send something of a higher standard but if we do quite well this year, this could mean the BBC put more money into a national selection show and therefore better and experienced song writers and composers may go for it. That dream of mine may sound far fetched but you never know as the BBC now has a slot to fill with The Voice being gone.

yst
Guest
yst

Last place in the Grand Final. It’s a shame to see a country like the UK, with a very strong musical industry, sending things like this 🙁

David Who
Guest
David Who

So musically, what do we have here? Not very much. The key is C major throughout, and is the most neutral key in music. The structure is based on 8-bar phrases, so rather than a ‘verse’ and ‘chorus’ structure, there is an assortment of 8-bar variations in the same key. Oh, and there are two attempts at a ‘hook’ (‘oh-oo-woah’ and ‘I-I-I’). That’s all i’m afraid. Since the song has one meaning (you’re not alone) and never diverts from that meaning, the music seems to fit the song perfectly. I feel i must ask the songwriters though: what do ‘they’… Read more »

Briekimchi
Guest
Briekimchi

Instead of wasting a load of money on a “national final”, paying huge consulting fees to industry experts or financing the music “careers” of people whose great uncles work at the BBC, why do they not just collect this money (a few million at least), give it to a real artist and ask them to do Eurovision? As much as British artists look down on Eurovision, money has always been known to change their minds.
Oh? The song? Awful.
2/10

Darren
Guest
Darren

While it’s not actually a bad song, it just doesn’t stand out to me. The whole boyband effect just isn’t working and it feels like these guys’ friendship is forced. But song wise, it’s not actually bad, there is far worse in the competition this year, but there are also much better. I think it’s a good call that the United Kingdom is already pre-qualified because if this was placed in a semi, particularly Semi 1, it would be slaughtered. It’s safe and good, just not too good 5/10 :/ bring back Molly Smitten Downes

EurofanUK
Guest
EurofanUK

esc2016 I think we have heard your views over and over again. Just accept that there are many other Eurovision fans that don’t agree with you. There are many songs in the contest this year where the performer(s) cannot sing live. These guys have good voices and if you can’t hear that then I suggest you take a trip to your local ENT. The song may not be the best in this year’s contest but it is streets ahead many of the others.

AG
Guest
AG

This a decent, normal entry.

Guys are sweet and the song is totally fine.

Of course, this is not a winning material, but they will not go home with only few points in their pockets.

Tom
Guest
Tom

Harmless and innocuous. The boys look like nice lads and the sing well. At first I found the song a bit meh but now it’s grown on me. It’s definitely good background music. Me fears though that this is one of the songs that are neither bad not great and won’t garner the votes.

I think people are hard on the UK due to how stellar the music industry is there and the fact UK could arguably win the contest at a canter year in year out if they tried.

Bouke
Guest
Bouke

HORRIBLE…. Live they aren’t good and the song is really boring. The lyrics are very standard. I can’t find something good in the song.

0.1/10

Angelo
Guest
Angelo

I actually like the British entry. It’s nothing new or high quality, but at least it’s bearable to listen to (unlike 50% of the other songs this year). Having said that, I do think the song is more suitable as a “radio song”, rather than a song you’d present on a Eurovision stage. I’m afraid it might get lost amongst the more outspoken songs and that it will have the same fate as Ann Sophie’s song from last year. “Black Smoke” was also very decent, but ultimately, no one voted for her because the song just wasn’t outspoken enough. I… Read more »

HarpyDarper
Guest
HarpyDarper

You know what this reminds me of? a1’s effort from MGP 2010! That came second and was a bit of a fan favourite!

Colin
Guest
Colin

For people complaining about UK not sending their A-league… how about 2012 AND 2013??? They send Engelbert Humperdinck and Bonnie Tyler!!! Since most people are under 30 and have little to no interest in music done before ‘their time’, I’m not surprised by ‘who’ statements to themselves by people reading this. However, trust me, those two ARE THE EFFIN A-GAME. How did that turned-out? Personally, I loved both entries and think both deserved a lot more. Bonnie’s entry, besides well sung and melodic, was also really catchy and energetic. People are really complaining about UK whatever they do, even if… Read more »

EdouardLille
Guest
EdouardLille

These two jump on stage like monkeys. This is not serious stuff.

Say hello to top 20-25.

esc 2016
Guest
esc 2016

UK…..as usually gives a good reason to demand to abolish Big-5….. This song does not deserve to be in the sacred scene of ESC…..
Two guys who use only their hair to support their entry….even the english people hate that….and bravo to them….

0.5/10

Pollaski
Guest
Pollaski

I actually really liked Electro Velvet, and I’m not sure I get so much of the hate it got- outside of the lyrics, which were terrible. Part of me thinks the BBC could put up the freaking Beatles, and people would hate it strictly because of the “UK Eurovision” narratve. Anyways, ‘safe’ is a good way to describe this one. Its pretty standard pop by two guy who are clearly energetic and attack the song (perhaps a little too aggressively in some spots), but overall it’s really noting new to the table. It probably deserves better than it’s going to… Read more »

georgekirkas
Guest
georgekirkas

Well, ”You’re Not Alone” is a good song, but nothing more than that. Of course it’s much better than ”Still In Love With You”, but it’s rather indifferent. We also have many similar entries this year, like Ireland or Denmark and if these qualify, then the UK can get lost.

6/10

Bhrister Cjorkman
Guest
Bhrister Cjorkman

4/10
35th/43

UK delivers again! Well chosen act that has UK written all over it. Strong contender for last place!

mawnck
Guest
mawnck

“People were whining about the internal selection, so the BBC threw a national final. And then people started whining about “the lack of quality”.” Why not both? If there’s one thing the BBC has excelled at over the last several years, it’s at giving the fans a LOT to whine about. And we haven’t even seen J&J’s staging yet! (Given that they seem to be going with the stale old “selfie” concept, you can safely assume that it’s going to be the usual humiliation.) The whining will continue, and justifiably so, until they get it TOTALLY right, and come through… Read more »

Poppina
Guest
Poppina

Great song, cool vibes, cool boys, I like

sonic0201
Guest
sonic0201

I don’t think it’s a bad song, 6/10 seems to be alright. But nothing more than decent. Far from a winner, nothing new, nothing extraordinary. Looks like the UK doesn’t even try to win the ESC?… I think the big names from the UK (Adele, Ellie Goulding, etc) either don’t care about ESC, too busy doing their things in the show industry, or just don’t want to take the risk of not doing well (look at what happened to Cascada or Dj Bobo, complete failures despite being well known artists). The UK stars might think it would be bad for… Read more »

DToes
Guest
DToes

@GEF
Your rankings are very close to mine very nice and I like how you don’t underrate songs like slow down and Utopian land

Ron Gilran
Guest

Best UK entry in a long time! The song is not that bad and actually quite fun. I feel like the scores it got here are way too low and unjustified.

Paul D.
Guest
Paul D.

Like I said before, safe is not good enough for Eurovision. This has bottom 5 written all over it

Bis
Guest
Bis

A pleasant and harmless ditty sung by two nice lads. No winner and no top 10, but still one of the better UK entries in recent years. 6,5/10

Homer
Guest
Homer

1/10. Even Eletro Velvet were better. They should’ve sent the fantastic Lorraine Bowen with “The Crumble Song”. I’m pretty sure that with her, UK would win the contest easily…

GEF
Guest
GEF

Why does everybody seem to hate it? It is not great for sure but the background music is actually quiet nice. Their voices are quiet good and fit together perfectly. I only have one problem: The song does not stand out. It is very ordinary but they don’t take a risk. Hence, neither the two guys nor the song are memorable. I still think it is much better than Ireland and Denmark who are somehow comparable in style. Unfortunately, UK will once more be close to the bottom in the Great Final. Here is my ranking so far: Alter Ego… Read more »

Fatima
Guest
Fatima

As Katrina spotted straight away, the “Know-oh-oh-o-o-o” sticks in the mind and then you look forward to it coming again. Everyone sings along to that as we saw in Amsterdam etc. The chemistry is good between the two, they look like they’re having fun, but it’s clear their not singing to one another. I think it’s a strong song and if the staging works (a big if I know) then top 10.

Nicky91
Guest
Nicky91

well i prefer Electro Velvet above this boring song

fikri
Guest
fikri

this song grows on me like a rash. UK will qualify to the final this year. 🙂

oh wait, they’re the big 5. nevermind.

Selene
Guest
Selene

@fluffybiscuits – if you’re going to promote your crappy Facebook group by going “you should see what other Eurovision fans are saying about them” then at least make sure said crappy Facebook group isn’t closed so nobody can see anything without joining?

T
Guest
T

Top 20 if they’re lucky but probably wont happen

cheesecake
Guest
cheesecake

It was definitely the best the UK had to offer this year and I quite enjoy this. Still, I don’t see this cracking the left side of the scoreboard.
They’re lovely though. 🙂

fluffybiscuits
Guest

Its $h!te

Anyways you should see what other Eurovision fans are saying about them

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1640367806185048/

Racal
Guest
Racal

I feel bad for these two little guys, and for the UK. I feel bad for the guys because they look cute, talented, young, fresh, … But with that bland song of theirs, I’m pretty sure they’re going to flop. I feel bad for the UK because it’s the first time in years that they actually try to send a good entry, but I’m still sure they’ll end up on the lowest side of the scoreboard. I just hope they will still try next year. Bring the big guns UK! You have the best music industry in the world, you… Read more »

oooops
Guest
oooops

I liked Electro Velvet more, but this will surprise us all and maybe end up in top 10

Polina
Guest
Polina

They’re both so sweet and good singers. They’re enjoying themselves on stage. It makes me smile, but not vote. That’s the problem.

YAAAAS
Guest
YAAAAS

Best UK entry since Molly.
Let’s hope this doesn’t get the same fate with a horrible staging like she did.

esc 2016
Guest
esc 2016

if this was in semi finals there they wont qualify for sure!!!

0.5/10