If you’re the kind of person who always hears the correct lyrics when they listen to all the Eurovision songs, every time, hey, good for you! You go, Glenn Coco. But it’s not so easy for the rest of us. We hear things. Here are the next lot of misheard lyrics from Eurovision 2016, thanks to suggestions from wiwibloggs readers.
1. Switzerland: Rykka – “The Last of Our Kind”
What we heard: “Not afraid of our uncles”
Correct lyric: “Not afraid of our own ghosts”
Some people have dodgy uncles or drunk uncles or just embarrassing uncles. But here’s a song that isn’t letting any of those uncles spoil the fun. It’s saying, “No, uncle. I am not afraid of you. And I’m especially not afraid of your joke about me not looking like an ice cream.” The line can be heard at 0:44.
2. Iceland: Greta Salóme – “Hear Them Calling”
What we heard: “I need economy, I need an aspirin”
Correct lyric: “I hear them calling me, I hear them whispering”
Iceland is one of the few countries who rapidly bounced back after the global financial crisis. And what is the secret of their success? Their finance minster took one look at the news headlines and requested just two things: “I need economy, I need an aspirin.” Hear the call at 0:32.
3. Bulgaria: Poli Genova – “If Love Was a Crime”
What we heard: “Oh, limey looter!”
Correct lyric: “O, dai mi lyubovta”
We’re not saying that everyone from England is a looter, but when faced with a smashed shopfront and a glistening Eurovision CD, well, it’s totally understandable. Have a smashing good time at 0:45.
4. Croatia: Nina Kraljic – “Lighthouse”
What we heard: “Harbour’s near, no more fear and our clothes disappear”
Correct lyric: “Harbours near, no more fear, wall of clouds disappears”
This is actually the Belarus delegation’s secret plans for getting a naked Ivan on stage. They’ll take Jon Ola Sand down to the harbour, distract him with the majestic Swedish scenery, and then suddenly — oops! — Ivan’s clothes have disappeared. Oh, go on, Ivan – and you can have your wolf as well. Forewarned is forearmed at 1:39.
5. Norway: Agneta – “Icebreaker”
What we heard: “When you’re sucking frogs in water”
Correct lyric: “When you’re stuck in frozen water”
So, there you are, sucking frogs in water, but it turns out that one of the frogs is an enchanted frog prince and you’ve just kissed him. And he’s all “Ribbit-ribbit, I will grant you one wish!” Instead of wishing for endless wealth or world peace, you say “I wish that Engelbert Humperdinck didn’t come last in 2012!”. The frog prince grants your wish and from this point on, the 2012 results show that the Hump came 25th and Tooji came last. Get enchanted at 0:54.
6. Hungary: Freddie – “Pioneer”
What we heard: “Your enemy might be your old man”
Correct lyric: “Your enemy might be your own mind”
It’s tough being a cool teen dude. There you are, trying to be an independent gentleman, when your old man keeps cramping your style. “That lawn’s not going to mow itself, son.” Freddie knows. He knows what it’s like when your old man becomes your enemy. Get the message at 0:11.
What we heard: “Inner love is replaced by the feet”
Correct lyric: “And the love is replaced by the fame”
We would like to formally dedicate this misheard lyric to the foot fetish guy who leaves comments celebrating the eroticism of the foot in relation to Eurovision stars. Join in the celebration at 0:38.
What we heard: “Beep round, you were born to be a reel”
Correct lyric: “Be proud, you were born to be real”
Reels are useful devices – they might contain film, sewing thread, or cable – and with the item able to be unwound in an effective manner. So who wouldn’t want to be a reel, especially a digital reel that beeps every time it goes around. Yep, Freddie knows. The declaration is at 0:48.
7. Armenia: Iveta Muchukyan – “LoveWave”
What we heard: “Shook my life like an earthquake Norway could never have”
Correct lyric: “Shook my life like an earthquake now I’m waking up”
Yeah, ok, so Norway isn’t known for having big earthquakes that can be used in pop song lyrics. But they don’t need them. As Agnete has demonstrated, all it takes is the imagery of an icebreaker ship forcing its way through the icy Arctic waters. The geological report can be found at 0:55.
What we heard: “Rory can’t do it all when Mum is out of lime”
Correct lyric: “Prove we can do it all when all is out of love”
He was just trying to help. (1:12)
What we heard: “Spread a lovewave and my heart goes ba-ba-da-bu-who-oh-oh”
Correct lyric: “Spread a lovewave and my heart goes ba-ba-da-bu-who-oh-oh”
Oh, sorry — that’s actually how the lyrics really go. Nothing to see here. (1:20)
Thanks to: Olivia, euroVISion.ph, Llamacorn, Alexovich, JuliusFromTheFaroeIslands, Qalib Suleymanov (YouTube), elainovision (Twitter).
- Read: 10 Misheard lyrics of the 2016 national final season
- Read: 8 Misheard lyrics of Eurovision 2016