As Europe heads to bed, our dear readers in America are getting comfy on their sofas for tonight’s televised circus — a.k.a., the first head-to-head U.S. presidential debate between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump.

Eurovision makes everything better, so we hope these songs can help folks from both sides of the aisle come together amid the jeers, taunting and heated political debate. After all, Eurovision has a great track record when it comes to free and fair elections, right?

The U.S. election in song: A Eurovision playlist

Initially we were going to use Greta Salome to talk about the insanity of a certain Republican nominee and his proposals. But we thought that might be a bit too loaded.

Luckily we have another way to discuss Iceland 2016! If you’re on the voter registry, then odds are you’ve received more than a few calls from both camps trying to get your vote. You’ve no doubt heard them calling…

And when those people start asking you if America should build a wall and start suggesting that immigrants need to stay away, you can just pump up the volume on Pollapönk.

We hope Donald Trump and his supporters can take on the message of “No Prejudice”…

We know that Bernie Sanders fought his heart out, but in reality Hillary was anointed as the Democratic nominee before the primaries even started.

As she takes to the stage this evening, we can’t help but hear “You Are the Only One”. Well, not the only Clinton, because there is that other one.

Gary Johnson and Jill Stein — those candidates from the Libertarian and Green Parties, who will be lucky to rake in 5% of the vote between them — haven’t been invited to tonight’s debate.

If they had been invited, producers could have considered playing Slovenia 2006.

At some point in the evening, particularly for attendees who drank a little too much water before show time, Ukraine 2014 may start playing in their head. And it certainly will be looping for most Americans by November.

Why won’t the clock stop ticking?

And then finally, on that glorious November evening, the polls will close, the votes will be counted, and Hillary will hopefully be declared the winner (Eurovision may be apolitical, but I am not, and America doesn’t compete at Eurovision anyway, so cut me some slack….it’s called an opinion and you probably have one too).

The world will breathe a sigh of relief and “Say Yay!” that the American voters made a sane choice.

Although if Donald somehow manages to pull out a win, well then, it’s time to…

…and start howling into a wind machine like this one:

The attitudes and opinions expressed in this article belong to the author and do not necessarily reflect those of wiwibloggs.com. LOL. Just kidding, of course they do…

Read more of our Eurovision lists

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an esc fan
an esc fan
3 years ago

I really want to understand what you have against Hillary, really, I’m not american so it is information that I don’t have about that matter.
Is it because she said she is pro women rights, but bullyed Bill mistresses?
Or she have financial income from arab world ?
I really don’t know more than that.

Guliguli
Guliguli
3 years ago

@Ern LOL

Ern
Ern
3 years ago

Oh please, Hillary Clinton is evil. Respectfully, I think people are being a bit naive if they’re going to “Say Yay!” on election night.

When thinking of Hillary, the song “Monster Like Me” by Morland & Debrah Scarlett comes to mind. Either that, or “Shady Lady” by Ani Lorak. (well, at least their titles do)

For Trump, I’d go with Verka Serduzchka. I think that act captures him perfectly.

Pollaski
Pollaski
3 years ago

@mocosuburbian

OH MY GOD SOMEONE ACTUALLY CAPABLE OF LOOKING AT POLITICS WITHOUT COMPLETELY VILLIFYING THE OTHER SIDE.

#WinnerWinnerChickenDinner

mocosuburbian
mocosuburbian
3 years ago

what a weird article
is everyone not entitled to their opinions
i mean i’m a highkey hillary supporter but it’s not cool to throw shade @ trump supporters for having an opinion different from mine

Julie
Julie
3 years ago

Actually @Polegend Godgarina, if Hillary was to follow the example of “You Are the Only One,” she would win the popular vote but still lose the election 😉

Jonas
Jonas
3 years ago

I agree that it would be nice if this was the one place we were safe from US election mania, and I know pre-2006 barely registers around here, but if you really want a song for Trump, it should be “Boum Badaboum” – the classic tale of nuclear apocalypse written by Serge Gainsbourg that represented Monaco in 1967.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yztBjYKoae8

Denis
Denis
3 years ago

I have to admit if there’s a place I didn’t want these two to pop up it was here. But no..
Eurovision is apolitical yet it has always shaped modern European politics more than you think.
And American politics and the new president will influence shape of European politics and therefore indirect ESC, make no mistake about it.
Therefore I dread a future with one of them as a president. It will take a turn to the dark, to say the least.

(J)ESC Fanatic
(J)ESC Fanatic
3 years ago

#TeamHillary

Trump is a disgusting creature, please don’t vote for him.

Polegend Godgarina
Polegend Godgarina
3 years ago

If Hilary plays You Are the Only One, she’ll surely get no votes lmao

Pollaski
Pollaski
3 years ago

Lee Adams

Fair enough. I don’t remember any expletives in those posts. I just found it weird because one of the nice things about this site is you guys are pretty non-restrictive about what is allowed in the comments, so seeing three get dumped was a bit startling.

William Lee Adams
Admin
3 years ago

@Pollaski — those comments included expletives and bleeped expletives. We do a daily search on comments with these and mark as spam — too many people cursing for us to sit and read each one.

Pollaski
Pollaski
3 years ago

Interesting- the “leave American politics out of the ESC” comments seem to have been deleted…

an esc fan
an esc fan
3 years ago

I was expecting Moldova 2012 :
” You have never been at my show
You haven’t seen before how looks the TRUMPet ”
By the way, I team Hillary.

MoreMusicLessGlamourPlease
MoreMusicLessGlamourPlease
3 years ago

I hate politics…but funny article 🙂 Cool!

Pollaski
Pollaski
3 years ago

Pot’s legal in Colorado.

All you need to know about this article.

DenizNL
DenizNL
3 years ago

I expected playing with fire. It’s kind of a fight between to people and the song has the same kind of theme.

Jamaraqueer
Jamaraqueer
3 years ago

That’s meant to be a laughing emoji, not question marks. Love how Eurovision has a song for everything!!!

Jamaraqueer
Jamaraqueer
3 years ago

Switch heads with bodies. Donald is a boob ????