The Wiwi Jury — our in-house panel of music unprofessionals — are reviewing the songs competing at Uuden Musiikin Kilpailu (UMK) 2017. Next up is pop group My First Band with “Paradise”. Does it leave us satisfied, as the lyrics suggest? Find out below!

My First Band – “Paradise”

About My First Band

My First Band consists of Antti Koivula (lead vocals), Mikko Virta (guitar), Juho Vehmanen (bass guitar), Heikki Kytölä (drums) and Heikki Puhakainen (keyboards). The band has toured all over the Europe and have a large fanbase in Europe’s German-speaking countries. The group describes their entry is “a sensual, fun song about pleasure and providing it to others”. Get it, guys…

“Paradise” reviews:

Robyn: Musically and vocally, “Paradise” is a delightful pop track. Lyrically though….ugh. I can give or take the cheesy oral sex metaphor. What bothers me is lyrics like “don’t give me that red light” and “baby don’t run, please baby don’t fight”. Message to My First Band: consent is important in a relationship. If a partner does not want you to kiss their paradise, you must respect their decision.

Score: 4/10

Bernardo: UMK is so sexual this year — I can’t stand it. And from the hotbed of all those sexual songs, this one arouses the least in me, probably because it presents itself as a serious act rather than a joke entry. They wanna see us satisfied, but I’m not.

Score: 4.5/10

Sami: The music is on point and I like the singalong elements on the song, but the lyrics are just cringe. I really want to like this, as they have great stage presence and Antti has a nice, pleasant voice. But this is just not the message I want Europe to hear from Finland.

Score: 5/10

Luis: “Paradise” is musically enjoyable. It’s modern, memorable and easy to sing along to. And that’s when you realise what they are singing about, and well, it’s a bit too much. It’s not the explicit sexual metaphors, but the general predator attitude that leaves me paralysed. The story behind this is basically that of a desperate guy acting like a pest towards any girl in the club on a Saturday night and making everybody else feel so uncomfortable. It’s a shame that those lyrics bring this song down to the purgatory (and predatory).

Score: 5.5/10

Anthony: A pop-rock boyband in the final of UMK has become familiar territory in recent years, but I can’t see My First Band joining the likes of Softengine and Satin Circus with their entry. Despite the bouncy summery vibes, “Paradise” doesn’t connect as a potential Eurovision entry and the lyrics just build to a baffling “did they really just say that?” moment.

Score: 5/10

William: If y’all really want to see me satisfied, please don’t suggest that you’re going to “leave me paralyzed” by kissing my paradise. But if you insist, please do so with more contemporary production and less predatory lyrics. Ultimately this is sleazy and a tad boring. Ironically the song that promises ecstasy fails to reach any sort of climax!

Score: 3/10

Forrest: There is always a point where innuendo crosses the line into sleaze and “Paradise” sails way past that line. The lyrics are ham-fisted and reminiscent of a child who has just learned a dirty joke — constantly repeating it and waiting for you to laugh. The problem is that I got the joke after the first 10 seconds, didn’t find it terribly funny, and still had to listen to it for another two-and-a-half minutes. The song does get points for its “I-I-I” hook; they should scrap everything else and build a new track around that.

Score: 2/10

Natalie: My First Band know how to make a GREAT SONG! Seriously, I can appreciate the swish instrumentation here. But beyond that — and particularly in the chorus — it just doesn’t work and comes across as really annoying. There is nothing attractive about a shouty, whistley chorus with really creepy lyrics. I must admit it did grow on me a little bit (just a little bit) as it went on, but at the end of it all it just came across as very unnecessary, like a sort-of mellowed down obnoxious “The Real Thing”, and I just don’t like it.

Score: 3/10

In the UMK Wiwi Jury, we have 19 jurors but only room for 8 reviews. The rest of our scores can be found below:

Antranig: 1.5/10

Chris: 4/10

Dayana: 5/10

Edd: 7/10

Jordi: 6.5/10

Josh: 3.5/10

Jovana: 7/10

Kristin: 5/10

Patrick: 6.5/10

Ramadan: 4/10

Rezo: 7/10

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Before calculating the average score, the highest and lowest scores are dropped. This is to remove outliers and reduce potential bias. We have removed a low of 1.5 and a high of 7.

WIWI JURY VERDICT: 4.74/10

SEE OUR LIST OF UMK 2017 RANKINGS HERE

FOLLOW ALL OF OUR FINLAND EUROVISION NEWS HERE

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AngieP
Guest
AngieP

I don’t like neither the song nor the lyrics.

Purple Mask
Guest
Purple Mask

By the way, about that chorus that goes “I, I-I-I…” Well, in French it sounds like “Aie, aie-aie-aie!” (Which means “Ouch.”) And, because it is sung so high up, it makes it sound like the guy is HURTING the girl!! Yet he wants to leave her paralysed?! 😀

Generally, the Eurovision audience can be more touchy about certain things than the wider record-buying public. Songs about rape are one of those things. Rightly so, in my opinion.

Bianca
Guest
Bianca

It makes me laugh at how squeamish some people are. Just listen to the music on the radio. Many of the songs you hear everyday are just as sexual as “Paradise”. This song also has a nice sound. I bet that if Maroon 5 or DNCE sang this song, it would’ve been a huge hit and everyone would’ve been crazy about it. Stop being such hypocrites, guys!
I can’t wait to see what happens in case your favourite won’t win.

(J)ESC Fanatic
Guest
(J)ESC Fanatic

Another UMK song with awful and dirty lyrics. Having said that, the chorus is kinda catchy.

5/10

Chance
Guest
Chance

Not only is this song vile (keep your lips away from my paradise, sir), it’s insipid.

It’s only slightly more listenable than the bottom of the barrel Gunther mess, and that Caveman disaster.

Trans Mermaid
Guest
Trans Mermaid

I want the vocalist to kiss my paradise tho lol he is hot

Storytime
Guest
Storytime

Do you ever listen to radio or go to clubs wiwibloggers?
You can sing about sex. It’s ok. Don’t take the lyrics so seriously.
It’s a feel-good song-

And maybe it tells about how girl teases his boyfriend. She giggles and runs away. Like “you have to catch me first” 😉

eurovision6
Guest
eurovision6

I think they could win, they are my #3 though

Colin
Guest
Colin

@Purple Mask, @Robyn,

Yup, that would be my fear exactly, because UMK seams to be having that M. O. – Great line-up, bad pick. ‘Paradise’ is the third worst pick out of the whole bunch IMO. But, worse songs, ‘My Little World’ and ‘Caveman’ would at least be SO BAD, they would be memorable. ‘Paradise’ is the lowest rank of musical blandless.

Héctor
Guest
Héctor

If Finland is going to send something sexual, at least choose Günther!

Robyn Gallagher
Editor

Purple Mask: “I have a dreadful feeling that this might actually win UMK this year.”

Same. I can see a situation like Emma and Alva splitting the vote and MFB coming up to win. 🙁

Polegend Godgarina
Guest
Polegend Godgarina

A fair rating for this song – and I’m glad I wasn’t the only one creeped out by those dodgy sexual-wannabe lyrics. I’m going to say, leave the boybands to Denmark and spare yourself the embarrassment, Finland.

Briekimchi
Guest
Briekimchi

Really bad.
Nordic national finals seemingly have a quota of boybands to get in regardless of talent or song quality. Not much other explanation for this one unfortunately.

Purple Mask
Guest
Purple Mask

I have a dreadful feeling that this might actually win UMK this year. The band is good live, the hook is infectious, and thr audience won’t necessarily understand the predatory aspect of the lyrics. Oops! I hope i’m wrong.

Colin
Guest
Colin

Cheesy and boring. Lyrics are too provocative to be likable and too tame to be provocative. I think they might think they are being ‘subtle’. No, they aren’t. It’s a 3.5/10 song IMO. Music is somewhat enjoyable, but that’s it. My 8’th out of 10 UMK songs.