The Wiwi Jury — our in-house panel of music unprofessionals — are reviewing the songs competing at Uuden Musiikin Kilpailu (UMK) 2017. Next up is pop group My First Band with “Paradise”. Does it leave us satisfied, as the lyrics suggest? Find out below!
My First Band – “Paradise”
About My First Band
My First Band consists of Antti Koivula (lead vocals), Mikko Virta (guitar), Juho Vehmanen (bass guitar), Heikki Kytölä (drums) and Heikki Puhakainen (keyboards). The band has toured all over the Europe and have a large fanbase in Europe’s German-speaking countries. The group describes their entry is “a sensual, fun song about pleasure and providing it to others”. Get it, guys…
Robyn: Musically and vocally, “Paradise” is a delightful pop track. Lyrically though….ugh. I can give or take the cheesy oral sex metaphor. What bothers me is lyrics like “don’t give me that red light” and “baby don’t run, please baby don’t fight”. Message to My First Band: consent is important in a relationship. If a partner does not want you to kiss their paradise, you must respect their decision.
Bernardo: UMK is so sexual this year — I can’t stand it. And from the hotbed of all those sexual songs, this one arouses the least in me, probably because it presents itself as a serious act rather than a joke entry. They wanna see us satisfied, but I’m not.
Sami: The music is on point and I like the singalong elements on the song, but the lyrics are just cringe. I really want to like this, as they have great stage presence and Antti has a nice, pleasant voice. But this is just not the message I want Europe to hear from Finland.
Luis: “Paradise” is musically enjoyable. It’s modern, memorable and easy to sing along to. And that’s when you realise what they are singing about, and well, it’s a bit too much. It’s not the explicit sexual metaphors, but the general predator attitude that leaves me paralysed. The story behind this is basically that of a desperate guy acting like a pest towards any girl in the club on a Saturday night and making everybody else feel so uncomfortable. It’s a shame that those lyrics bring this song down to the purgatory (and predatory).
Anthony: A pop-rock boyband in the final of UMK has become familiar territory in recent years, but I can’t see My First Band joining the likes of Softengine and Satin Circus with their entry. Despite the bouncy summery vibes, “Paradise” doesn’t connect as a potential Eurovision entry and the lyrics just build to a baffling “did they really just say that?” moment.
William: If y’all really want to see me satisfied, please don’t suggest that you’re going to “leave me paralyzed” by kissing my paradise. But if you insist, please do so with more contemporary production and less predatory lyrics. Ultimately this is sleazy and a tad boring. Ironically the song that promises ecstasy fails to reach any sort of climax!
Forrest: There is always a point where innuendo crosses the line into sleaze and “Paradise” sails way past that line. The lyrics are ham-fisted and reminiscent of a child who has just learned a dirty joke — constantly repeating it and waiting for you to laugh. The problem is that I got the joke after the first 10 seconds, didn’t find it terribly funny, and still had to listen to it for another two-and-a-half minutes. The song does get points for its “I-I-I” hook; they should scrap everything else and build a new track around that.
Natalie: My First Band know how to make a GREAT SONG! Seriously, I can appreciate the swish instrumentation here. But beyond that — and particularly in the chorus — it just doesn’t work and comes across as really annoying. There is nothing attractive about a shouty, whistley chorus with really creepy lyrics. I must admit it did grow on me a little bit (just a little bit) as it went on, but at the end of it all it just came across as very unnecessary, like a sort-of mellowed down obnoxious “The Real Thing”, and I just don’t like it.
In the UMK Wiwi Jury, we have 19 jurors but only room for 8 reviews. The rest of our scores can be found below:
Before calculating the average score, the highest and lowest scores are dropped. This is to remove outliers and reduce potential bias. We have removed a low of 1.5 and a high of 7.