43 42 entries now confirmed, we’ve been listening to the Eurovision 2017 entries and have discovered more of those “Wait, what?!” moments. Misheard lyrics are one of the joys of Eurovision, whether they’re caused by the singer not enunciating well enough or by the listener not really paying attention. We’ve put together a list of some of the best moments from 2017.
If you’re the kind of person who always hears the correct lyrics when they listen to all the Eurovision songs, every time, hey, good for you! But it’s not so easy for the rest of us. Sometimes we hear things.
1. Estonia: Koite Toome & Laura – “Verona”
What we heard: “Sleeping all alone, you wake up with a butt in your hands”
Correct lyric: “Sleeping all alone, you wake up with a bottle in your hands”
And when that happens, your first thought is, “Wait, if I’m really all alone, then whose butt am I grabbing?” Tbh, this has happened to more than a few of us after a night out at Euroclub. But more often than not, it turned out it was just a hotel cushion that had slipped down the bed. Sometime, though, it’s real butt. The firm, pert lyric can be heard at 0:06.
2. Malta: Claudia Faniello – “Breathlessly”
What we heard: “Knowing there’s a bacon seal within your heart”
Correct lyric: “Knowing there’s a vacancy within your heart”
This is much is true: bacon is delicious and seals are the coolest marine mammals. And combine the two — a seal made out of bacon — and you have the best meme ever. And who wouldn’t want to keep that in their heart, a reminder of the nicest things in life? The adventure starts at 1:21.
3. Moldova: SunStroke Project – “Hey Mamma”
What we heard: “Mama, mama don’t be so down, all the t*ts going round and round”
Correct lyric: “Mama, mama don’t be so down, all it keeps going round and round”
Oh, you now how it is. You’ve taken your mum to a burlesque club for a birthday surprise. You ask her how she’s enjoying it and she says, “Frankly, I was expecting more jiggling.” So you say, “Mama, mama don’t be so down, all the t*ts going round and round”, and draw her attention to the voluptuous dancers who are all shaking their thang. Best birthday ever! The motherly advice is at 0:32.
4. Lithuania: Fusedmarc – “Rain of Revolution”
What we heard: “Looking for the reason, hamster on the road”
Correct lyric: “Looking for the reasons I’m still on the road”
It can happen to all of us. We have a cute pet rodent. One day he’s happily playing in his cage, the next he’s escaped and has tragically been squashed by the neighbour’s SUV. It’s times like this that great soul searching can take place – just why did that hamster end up on the road? Was he trying to escape? The journey begins at 1:47.
5. Australia: Isaiah – “Don’t Come Easy”
What we heard: “No, I don’t, don’t wanna mess with your hair”
Correct lyric: “No, I don’t, don’t wanna mess with your head”
As a man of good hair, Isaiah knows it’s important to respect someone’s hair. If they’ve put a lot of effort into styling it, maybe they’re even wearing a weave, then you don’t wanna be messing with it. Sure, it might seem cute, but that fun rustle can soon turn into an emergency visit to the bathroom to get things back in place. Isaiah’s kind declaration begins at 0:30.
6. Sweden: Robin Bengtsson – “I Can’t Go On”
What we heard: “Pants down to the floor, my love”
Correct lyric: “Hands down to the floor, my love”
Look, we can’t help it. It’s a flirty song, Robin sings “I wanna take off all my clothes”, so why wouldn’t a line involving pulling one’s pants down to the floor be part of it? Tbh, the real lyric makes a lot less sense, unless “hands down to the floor” is some kind of specialist yoga move. In which case we might be interested. The instruction beings at 0:59.
7. Iceland: Svala – “Paper”
What we heard: “I fish for you”
Correct lyric: “I reach for you”
There’s something of an urban legend that says that the “Paper” music video was filmed in an abandoned fish factory. It wasn’t, ok. It was a coffee factory. But yet there in the lyrics, it appears Svala is singing “I fish for you”. Maybe the fish factory exists in a parallel universe and communicates to us via the lyrics. Yes, that’s it. The message can be heard at 0:27.
8. Armenia: Artsvik – “Fly With Me”
What we heard: “Over t*ts, over heels”
Correct lyric: “Over deeps, over hills”
Well, there’s the concept of falling head over heels, so obviously “t*ts over heels” is a variation of that. It’s for those times when you’re glammed up for a night on the town, looking hot, feeling fire emoji, but then along comes a rogue cobblestone and you end up falling down over t*ts, over heels. The disastrous night out begins at 1:24.
9. Georgia: Tamara Gachechiladze – “Keep the Faith”
What we heard: “Don’t let nobody turn you down, even if the world is round”
Correct lyric: “Don’t let nobody turn you down, even if the world is rough”
There are some people who claim that the earth is round. There are others – the truthers – who know that the world is actually flat. Tako “Tamara” Gachechiladze is hedging her bets. She’s just saying that it’s important to stick to what you believe in, even if the world turns out to be round. Which is isn’t, but just keep that in mind. Her sage advice begins at 1:04.
10. Azerbaijan: Dihaj – “Skeletons”
What we heard: “I’m a skeletons”
Correct lyric: “Have my skeletons”
Normally you’d hear a lyric like “I’m a skeletons” and you’d think it had to be misheard. But then the song drops real lyrics like “Amazed by thorn jeans” and “Fuss and fight won’t get you tons”. They make about as much sense as “I’m a skeletons”. But no, the actual lyric is the sensibly poetic “Have my skeletons”. But who’s to say that “I’m a skeletons” can’t play on in our hearts? The glory starts at 1:12.
What lyrics have you misheard? Share your favourites below!