Eurovision 2017 was a bumper year for stage props, with many countries getting highly creative in their staging. But why should appreciation for these props end at Eurovision? Here are ten props we’d like to see given a second chance and auctioned for charity.
1. Dihaj’s blackboard and manhorse
Fuss and fight won’t get you tons, but it will get you Dihaj’s surreal set. As the blackboard says, it’s all about fantasy. You can make believe you’re a schoolteacher who’s had to call the janitor to change a lightbulb. He’s fixed the light, but being half-man, half-horse, he won’t come down from the ladder until you give him some carrots and tell him he’s a good horsie. Chalk not included.
2. Timebelle’s avant-garde staircase
Timebelle’s avant-garde staircase is ideal for anyone wearing a glamorous gown that keeps dragging on the ground. The avant-garde staircase allows the dress train to hang down in a relaxed yet ladylike fashion. Please note: avante-garde staircase is only available in yellow.
3. Triana Park’s accidental penis graffiti
At first glance this transparent board seems to have been decorated with a likeness of Riga’s iconic Freedom Monument. But with just a flick of the lights, details change and suddenly it looks more like yer classic cock and balls graffiti in all its urgent masculinity. But does it have to be one or the other? Get you a staging backdrop that can do both!
4. Nathan Trent’s moon
The real moon is nice and all, but it’s pretty lame how it just hangs out in the sky, getting bigger and smaller every month and controlling the tides. Instead here is Nathan Trent’s far superior moon. It is covered in tiny mirrors! You can sit on it, stand on it and — if the mystical smoke has been summoned — you can enter a higher state and walk on air. Literally. No tricks. Please note: there was also a little plexiglass table that came with this, but we’re not sure what it’s for so we’re using it as a coffee table at Wiwi HQ.
5. Demy’s foot spa
Has it been a long day performing in high heels? Do you have tired, achy feet? Demy’s foot spa is the answer to your troubles. Now you can relax your tired toes in a little splashy pool. The foot spa comes with two eager man-swan attendants.
6. Brendan Murray’s hot air balloon
Do you love the romance of hot air ballooning but suffer from a crippling fear of heights? This could be the answer to your woes. Brendan’s hot air balloon will let you experience the charm of a balloon ride without ever having to leave the ground. Just watch out for overheard power lines, ok?
7. Ilinca feat. Alex Florea’s giant disco cannons
As far as artillery equipment goes, cannons are pretty awesome. But they’re even better when they’re covered in disco mirrors. Spice up any party with this Romanian disco cannon. Your jealous friends will be like “Dude, there’s not really any room here for it. Where is everyone going to sit?” Please note: disco cannon does not shoot confetti, but an animated gif of a cannon firing glitter will be provided at no extra cost.
8. O.Torvald’s giant head
O.Torvald’s giant head makes the ideal gift. You know why, though? Because as you present the giant head to your friend, you’ll be able to say, “Never let it be said that I don’t give good head!!!!!!” Just imagine how hilarious that will be. And because your friend will have nowhere to store the giant head, they’ll be forced to regift it to someone else and will thus again utter that golden line. The circle of life continues.
9. Robin Bengtsson’s treadmills
Want to go somewhere but you just can’t be bothered walking? Robin Bengtsson’s treadmills are the answer to your problem! Now you — and four friends — can travel up to two metres without even breaking a sweat. Jump on at one end and this modern technology will magically transport you a short distance within seconds. Assembly required.
10. Sunstroke Project’s epic sax
Play that epic sax, Epic Sax Guy!
Which props and costumes would you like to see auctioned for charity? How much would you pay? Share your thoughts below!