Today the Wiwi Jury – our in-house panel of music unprofessionals — travelled to Lisbon to tour the newly renamed Altice Arena in preparation for Eurovision in 2018. After the Iberian sun fried our skin we decided to seek some shade and review the entry for Portugal at Junior Eurovision 2017, “Youtuber” by Mariana Venâncio. Do we want to like, comment and subscribe to her YouTube channel? Read on to find out…

Portugal’s Junior Eurovision 2017 song

“YouTuber” reviews

Bernardo: Mariana, gurl, you are my addiction. “Youtuber” is an infectious track about social media, love and teen drama that just stays in your head for some reason. It may sound annoying, but Miss Venâncio bring plenty of charisma and vocal control – some adults may be jealous. The song arcs back to the old days of JESC when kids co-wrote their entries. Easy to listen to and catchy in its simplicity.

Score: 8/10

Chris: It’s easy to get swamped down in the negatives of “Youtuber”. It’s pandering done wrong. Combined with that is the 80s demo backing track, matched with a song about being online. A Portuguese Siegel-esque nightmare. Which is why it’s such a shame that Mariana’s performance is somewhat overshadowed by the negatives. Because this girl gives it her all and then some. I want to root for Mariana, but the song makes it just too difficult.

Score: 5/10

Jordi: Retro flavour and cool vibes – welcome back Portugal! This is a really fresh, surprising and addicting tune – but I’m not so into the lyrics part. However, Mariana’s great voice keeps the rhythm flowing in a very pleasant way. The chorus part is the one that falls short slightly to me. It seems a risky but smart move. The new generations already added the word “Youtuber” to their vocabulary. But I’m concerned if both – kids but mostly parents – will really relate to that song.

Score: 6.5/10

Luis: Let’s face it: Mariana is way above her song. While “Youtuber” is not unlistenable, it’s not the best effort either. The problem is that when you listen to the song, it’s too evident that it was an adult who wrote it and composed it. However, let’s focus on Mariana, because she’s the true star here. She adapts to the song perfectly and gives her all. I’d use this case as an example of how should you deal with your life: take what you are given and make the most of it!

Score: 6.5/10

Robyn: This is an unusual song. Musically, it sounds like the soundtrack from a wine bar in the 1980s, but lyrically it’s a very modern look at the online life, of using social media to snag the attention of a crush. Mariana is super cute and she brings the right tone to the song. While the music is sophisticated, it never feels out of place with her vocals.

Score: 6.5/10

William: Haters gonna hate and slayers gonna slay — get it, Mariana! Serving bossa nova realness and major Latin flair, Mariana takes us to the jazz bars of Lisbon and the blues cafés of Rio. Thematically she explores our obsession with fame and how it serves as a window into our deep-seated needs and desires. All the philosophising ultimately begs the question of whether our quest for likes is really a quest to like ourselves. Mariana has got the charisma. She’s got the voice. And she’s getting a like AND a subscribe from me with this one.

Score: 9/10

Our jury for 2017 consists of 20 jurors, but we only have room for 6 reviews. The remaining 14 scores are listed below.

Angus: 5/10

Antony: 5/10

Antranig: 6/10

Cinan: 6.5/10

Deban: 7/10

Jonathan: 6.5/10

Josh: 5.5/10

Jovana: 6/10

Marek: 8.5/10

Mario: 5.5/10

Natalie: 5.5/10

Renske: 6/10

Rezo: 8/10

Sebastian: 5/10

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The highest and lowest scores are dropped prior to calculating the average score. This is to remove outliers and reduce potential bias. We have removed a low of 5 and a high of 9.

WIWI JURY SCORE: 6.31/10

READ ALL OUR JESC WIWI JURY RANKINGS AND REVIEWS

FOLLOW OUR JUNIOR EUROVISION COVERAGE

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CJGE
Guest
CJGE

The sing is pretty unique among all entries, but I don’t really think it would be my cup of tea for everyday life. It is a good song I’d say.

7.5/10

Aleh
Guest
Aleh

It is saddening to see how many feel as though this song is not good. But to me, it’s better than Serbia, Albania, Georgia, Cyprus. The song is so catchy honestly. And no I am not Portuguese, but I love this song so much and so does my family – it’s the ONLY song of the contest we can sing back to back because it was very easy to learn.

Kris
Guest
Kris

This song isn’t my cup of tea. A 4/10.

Briekimchi
Guest
Briekimchi

Definitely my cup of tea, though!
Do not see it doing that well, however.

esc the netherlands
Guest
esc the netherlands

i love the song and its my winner but i know its not gonna end up higher then like 13th but i hope it will get top 5, because its a very simple and catchy song and she’s lovely

Jordan
Guest
Jordan

I’m surprised the worst song of the competition got relatively high scores. Also, quite sad how the Portuguese guy can’t be objective.
I give it a 3 🙂

Bernardo Pereira
Editor

I can assure you I was as objective scoring this song as I was the others. Being Portuguese has nothing to do with the way I score my countries song. xx

Noil
Guest
Noil

Great voting guys. Good luck to Mariana, you can do it!!!

Erasmus
Guest
Erasmus

Wow this is overrated by wiwi jury… For me it’s bland, it lacks any kind of energy, it’s old-fashioned, it’s sounds like a demo and not a finished version, there’s almost not bridge… It looks like they didn’t have enough time to make a “song”. For me it’s a 4/10.
1. Poland 7,5
2. Italy 6,5
3. Cyprus 6,5
4. Ukraine 6,5
5. Serbia 5
6. Portugal 4

Batas
Guest
Batas

Oh please the song has more life than Italy has. Italy’s song rely’s on the beauty of it’s own language rather than the musicality of the song. Sorry not sorry.

Go get them gurrlllll
Guest
Go get them gurrlllll

“probably in the whole JESC” bitch please ? Don’t forget Macedonia 2013 plus Mariana will slay.

Miss X
Guest
Miss X

Bigot.

lucas
Guest
lucas

1) O facto de seres o único português que visitava este site antes do Salvador ser viral não apaga o facto de me meteres nojo. 2) Eu já visito este site desde a vitória da Suzy no FC2014. Portanto, muito antes do Salvador ser viral. 3) O que tu espalhas não são opiniões, é ódio na sua forma mais crua. 4) Tu não és fã. És retardado. PS: “Salvador” é nome próprio, logo deve ser escrito com letra maiúscula; “Estatar” não existe, é “constatar”; Canção cancelas? Não sei o que isso é; “merece” é sem cedilha. (E vá lá, dou-te… Read more »