Last year the Norwegian producer JOWST declared “#UKxJOWST is officially dead” after the BBC rejected the three songs he had submitted to the Eurovision: You Decide selection. Now the “Grab the Moment” songwriter has weighed in on the six versions of the three songs that did make the cut.

JOWST represented Norway at Eurovision 2017, where his song “Grab the Moment” scored a tenth-place finish. Since then, he’s been eager to share his talents with the UK and submitted three songs to the Eurovision: You Decide 2019 open submission, including “Everybody Knows”. Sadly the BBC weren’t interested in any of his songs.

Back in October, JOWST said that the BBC “actually think that my 3 best songs/demos are worse than ALL the songs they will have in their national final.” And now, with the six entries of Eurovision: You Decide having been released, JOWST has finally been able to judge for himself.

Forget the Wiwi Jury — here’s the JOWST Jury. The producer and songwriter has listened to the six UK entries and has shared his thoughts.

JOWST Jury – Eurovision: You Decide 2019

Michael Rice – “Bigger than Us”

Nice voice. The song would probably sound so much better if it was one or two semitones higher. And it sounds like a Swedish pop song from 2016. Like the Sabina Ddumba song “Not Too Young”.

Score: 6/10

Holly Tandy – “Bigger than Us”

This is actually “almost really good”. It sounds a little like Clean Bandit’s single “I Miss You”, production-wise. I hope she will be able to convey more personality through her performance. Because now she sounds like a teacher, demonstrating how to sing the song. It comes across as too “correct”. And I hope they will be able to change that cheesy dance kick in there.

Score: 8/10

Jordan Clarke – “Freaks”

Let’s sing along to the chorus, everyone! With the arms up, from side to side, while smiling! And you can bring your kids! He has a nice voice, etc. The song is just more suited for a children’s show than as a serious Eurovision entry.

Score: 3/10

MAID – “Freaks”

What’s up with doing songs for Eurovision that sound like they’re from a musical? It would be great for that type of scene. It’s a nice song and production, but not very current. It doesn’t feel dated — just in the wrong place.

Score: 4/10

Kerrie-Anne – “Sweet Lies”

This song is actually cool and she suits it. This could be a disaster if she has a big dress that no one would ever wear, sings a little bit pitchy and smiles a lot, with cameras flowing over the scene like they only do at Eurovision. Can be 9/10 but could also be 5/10 if the ones deciding everything f*** up big time.

Score: 8/10

Anisa – “Sweet Lies”

She sings the song as if it is a 2000s R&B song, and the production sounds a little like that as well. This could have been a big hit back then, but now it feels dated. Nice voice though.

Score: 5/10

What do you think? Do you agree with JOWST’s reviews? Should the BBC have used one of his songs? Would you like to read more jury reviews from JOWST? Tell us what you think in the comments section below!

Read more UK Eurovision news here

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Jack
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Jack

Will Deban and William be doing a reaction video of all 6 songs

Veta
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Veta

It’s really sad he didn’t submit his “Everybody Knows” for any other country. I was hoping till the last minute to see him in ESC this year…

Briekimchi
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Briekimchi

Why stop at the JOWST jury?
I want to see the Florina jury, the Berkes Oliver jury and more to come!

Rumpelstiltskin
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Rumpelstiltskin

We need more of JOWST in national finals!

Rose
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Rose

The UK should overhaul their format and go for something like Festival de Cancao, where they invite British composers only and have the ones writing the songs decide who will sing them. That way, we have songs that were written specifically for the singers instead of songs that were assigned to singers who don’t have a connection to them. Portugal is able to do it and they don’t even have nearly as many songwriters to choose from as the UK does.

Roy Moreno
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Roy Moreno

I’m starting to get tired of Jowst now…

Rasmus
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Rasmus

Why? He is right that UKS songs are SOOOOO average. Its nice with opinions that is true.

Roy Moreno
Guest
Roy Moreno

It’s not about his opinions on the selection’s entries
It’s about him trying to get so much attention
I don’t want him to become into another MIHAI or Markus Riva as well

Mr. Vanilla Bean
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Mr. Vanilla Bean

All six songs are dated and Jowst also feels out of place here. Like a needy dog begging for a bone. Dislike the honest critics all you want, the UK will still get a bottom five result and this time probably without a stage invasion to throw them some points of solidarity.

Héctor
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Héctor

He has overrated almost all of them. I’m sure his songs were far better.

Polegend Godgarina
Guest

bigger than us by michael rice sounds like a song from……2016? man i would’ve sworn 1996

Bahog Bilal Hassani
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Bahog Bilal Hassani

He could’ve still pursued that #UKvsJOWST thing even if it’s non-Eurovision related. Fans can really look forward to that but not anymore with his current actions. He is too quick to be salty right after being rejected by BBC and that is a bad look.

Gin
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Gin

He was salty? I thought his review was civil.
But then, I’m not from the UK, so my reading was probably different from yours.

Bahog Bilal Hassani
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Bahog Bilal Hassani

Other than his review here, I mean. It’s not limited to that.

Vanuatu
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Vanuatu

someone doesnt know how to lose…

Nicola
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Nicola

There needs to be a JOWST jury every year!

Loin dici
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Loin dici

I’m giggling reading his reviews, especially about Freaks. The things about Kerrie-Anne is true, though.

Ted
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Ted

I’m really not feeling anything towards Kerrie Anne or Holly’s songs. They’re nice songs but not songs for a competition where you need to wow the juries and televoters. We sent a “nice” song last year with ‘Storms’ Sure, the crowd all sang along and clapped but when played in the mix with x amount of songs on the final, it just faded away. No one remembered it. I’m also really torn. My fave song (Mike’s ‘bigger’) has the most potential. I’m seeing it as a duet with another young female soul singer. It’s a song more suited to a… Read more »

romanian
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romanian

Don’t underestimate country genre in ESC. The Netherlands are an example, also probably Estonia 2019 (Victor Crone).

yom124
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yom124

Yeah but this isn’t really country, its a weird mix of pop singer trying to be country which doesn’t make too much sense. It still sounds nice, but not distinctive enough to make an impact

romanian
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romanian

Europeans trying to be country don’t make any sense, but all right. For me is the best, but I’m not good at predicting.

Tajikistan
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Tajikistan

I’m guessing Jowst is paying y’all big money to keep making articles about him

Stian F
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Stian F

Ok I just have to laugh…. Kerrie-Ann is by far the most dated effort and that is his favorite?!!?! OK u lost some points now JOWST. Greetings from a fellow Norwegian.

ESCFan2009
Guest
ESCFan2009

Look, y’all, Kerrie-Ann’s “Sweet Lies” is well sung and produced and it’s a typical dance song (“bop”) – and there I see the big problem! It is too normal, heard thousand times before, which makes it feel boring to me. I will dance with you in the Euroclub to this, let’s have a party, but it is not deep enough for me. I’m hoping for something more “alternative” (and this is btw indeed the big strength of “Freaks”. JOWST is completely right here, it’s very musical fitting, and it simply doesn’t sound like the typical dance song or the typical… Read more »

Mariko
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Mariko

I like this review. He doesn’t sound too salty and seems like he knows what he is talking about. I agree with the comment below; seems like the UK needs a new type of jury.

Colin
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Colin

I appreciate the honesty. Maybe that’s what UK needs – an input from foreign juries. That’s because they don’t pander unlike the British ones. I mean, when you asked the three from last 2 years, everything was perfect and everyone was perfect. I am not sure I agree with Jowst on everything, but I really respect his opinion.

mad-professor
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mad-professor

The songs for You Decide this year were all selected by international jurors.

Meckie
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Meckie

That explains a lot. International Jurors probably do not want the UK to win this year.

romanian
Guest
romanian

Holly Tandy is my favorite too.