The Wiwi Jury — our in-house panel of music unprofessionals — now turns to the UK, where we will be rating and reviewing the six entries competing in the UK’s Eurovision: You Decide. First up, we take a look at the girl group MAID (made up of Blythe, Miracle and Kat) and their version of “Freaks”. Did we buy their version of high school life? Read on to find out!

MAID – “Freaks”

“Freaks” reviews

Antranig: Don’t get me started on how inappropriate the word “soccer” sounds in a British entry. This song builds up really nicely and has a dark and tantalising edge. Of the three songs, this is the one that has the most personality and the potential to stand out. However, both versions need some polish to their execution to stand a chance at Eurovision. Of all six acts, MAID have the greatest potential to achieve a good result with some sexy harmonies. But in its current state, it is weaker than Jordan’s version.

Score: 6.5/10

Chris: A rejected mid-00s MCR track that has somehow been ported over and accepted by the BBC. Put that together with a frankly bizarre composition and there’s just no way to sell this one. MAID might all be talented vocalists and musical theatre stars, but there’s no smoke and mirrors here. This is not good.

Score: 3/10

Julian: There is so much potential here. The different harmonies from those incredibly talented singers sound very interesting and fit to the “Freaks” theme. I kind of like the verses but the chorus isn’t outstanding. However, the BBC definitely didn’t make use of this potential as the song itself has nothing where any viewers at home feel like they have to vote for this song in the grand final. I don’t think it is the worst song of this selection but it nevertheless isn’t a song that will end the UK’s curse at Eurovision.

Score: 3.5/10

Luis: In the history of national finals, there haven’t been many lyrics worse than “We are the freaks, nah nah, tragedy”. To begin with, “Freaks” is the least interesting of the three songs, and this version is so stripped down that it reveals all its many flaws. MAID’s harmonies are the only remarkable feature of this act, but they’re also a problem: there are three people singing when the verses are so clearly about a single person, and hence, it’s difficult to see a connection between them and the song, even in the studio version.

Score: 2/10

Pablo: For starters, the song is indeed the weakest we’ve heard for the UK in a while, and this is just the worst way to present it. A little boy’s song by a a girl group with such morose and bland music on the back, it makes them look morose and bland. Everything about this wouldn’t stick together even if you had crazy glue. Dodgy lyrics, slow and sultry verses, a Pachebel chorus and harmonies where there should not be; this entry has it all, and not in a good way.

Score: 1.5/10

William: I’m a huge fan of dark pop. But giving a song titled “Freaks” the dark treatment renders it just a bit too Halloween for my liking. The slow pace and gothic harmonies — with the ladies singing “we are freaks” — makes this impossible to take seriously. I just want to call Casper and have a laugh.

Score: 1.5/10

In our Eurovision: You Decide Wiwi Jury, we have 12 jurors but only room for 6 reviews. The rest of our scores can be found below:

Angus: 4/10

Barnabas: 1/10

Jonathan: 5/10

Kristin: 4/10

Lucy: 2/10

Robyn: 4/10

Before calculating the average score, the highest and lowest scores are dropped. This is to remove outliers and reduce potential bias. We have removed a low of 1 and a high of 6.5.

Wiwi Jury verdict: 3.05/10

See our list of Eurovision: You Decide 2019 rankings

Follow all our UK Eurovision news

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Alex
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Alex

I’d listen to this on Spotify for sure. It’s different – it has a neat indietronica feel. I agree that Eurovision wouldn’t necessarily get this, but it’s a good song. Jordan’s version doesn’t do much for me.

AngieP
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AngieP

I really like the beginning, it’s fresh. But as the song progresses, the song itself doesn’t progress.
However, it’s decent.
A solid 5/10.

Purple Mask
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Purple Mask

For those who don’t understand some of our negativity around this song: 1. In the UK it is football, not soccer. 2. The message of the song puts the “lost and lonely” into a big box. It does not bring people together – it only divides them. A big family box is still a box, which is not what the ideology of Eurovision is supposed to be. 3.a. The Chorus music is based on Pachelbel’s Canon in D Major. It is painfully obvious to some of us, and frankly it is very cheap songwriting. 3.b. There is a less obvious… Read more »

Briekimchi
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Briekimchi

All of the above are true.
Still, it might be the best song of the three and that in itself, is pretty damning.

Floprina
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Floprina

Just dreadful, dreadful! I will campaign to boycott Eurovision if this gets sent.

Floprina
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Floprina

I very much doubt the British public would want a song with the word “soccer” in to win. Although Jordan’s version is 10000x better than this (and even that isn’t great)

Linky
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Linky

Why on earth not? That’s another word for football, commonly used in the U.K.

Purple Mask
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Purple Mask

“I just want to call Casper and have a laugh.” – THIS is why William Lee Adams is a legend. 🙂
So witty and so true!

Jack
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Jack

Julian perfectly sums it up, it’s not a bad song but a waste of so much potential. Perhaps some Gothic and fantasy staging for MAID would stand a chance to defeat Jordan in the duel? by the way I have met the dad of one of the members(Miracle) 3 times last year at local (pop culture) comic-cons!

Eastman
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Eastman

This version of the song would work better if the group singing it actually looked like weirdo loser freaks instead of literally resembling the “Plastics” of Mean Girls.

Hoohoo
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Hoohoo

Cannot understand the hate for this song. The other two choices are literally a cookie cutter X Factor winner’s reject song and a stereotype club banger from about 2013. Both competent but neither going to stand out, because the other countries’ entries are almost certainly going to be more memorable and unique. At least with ‘Freaks’ (Jordan’s version, that is), it is memorable, a bit more individual and quirky with an easy to remember hook. We will not get far anyway, so why not just pick something that will at least stand out and has great potential for some colorful,… Read more »

Richard Hopkins
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Richard Hopkins

Totally agree with your comments. Freaks is the way to go! The other two are pleasant but forgettable. This was stayed with me the first time I heard it. I really hope it is chosen, ideally with Jordan doing the honours.

Paul
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Paul

I’m still dead from “soccer”. Of all the words to include a UK song!! Football is the national sport!! Brits hate this word nearly as much as they hate Donald Trump!

esc stan
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esc stan

I really don’t get the hate for this song, it’s quite nice. Their harmonies are lit but Jordan’s version is still miles better though.

AndersP
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AndersP

I can’t even begin to explain how much I hated Jordan’s version of this song, so I didn’t think it was possible to hate it even more, but MAID somehow helped plumb the depths of my bile. How an Avril Lavigne reject circa 2002 is one of the top three songs at the UK’s disposal is beyond belief. I couldn’t even give this a single point, I’m surprised it got so many. Having stood in shock in the middle of the Brighton Dome last year however, I have a deep sense of impending doom that either of the versions of… Read more »

Alexo
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Alexo

I swear guys start praying that Kerrie Anne, Michael or Holly wins ASAP

AndersP
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AndersP

Amen!

Catriona Colville
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Catriona Colville

It makes no difference. All 6 of these entries are doomed to fail.

Colin
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Colin

MAID: Freaks – The song itself is somewhat cheesy and contains some questionable lyrics (like ”soccer” in England). The message is nice and uplifting. The chorus is very memorable. This version in particular gets even more cheesy because it wants to be dark and edgy, while it totally isn’t. People who think this is goth probably consider Twilight a horror. It could end-up unintentionally entertaining. The girls sing very well, but I like the other version a lot more. – 4/10

Linky
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Linky
ESCFan2009
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ESCFan2009

I am literally the only one who LOVES this version 😀 Harmonies, calm atmosphere, warm message, nice lyrics (“bruised and broken = kings and queens of tragedy”). It’s the most original and freshest of all 6 entries (8.5/10). Well, you can call me a freak now 😉

Richard
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Richard

I find the negativity around this song bizarre. This is easily the most (not the least) interesting song of the three, and I personally find the lyrics quirky and witty. I think this would be a great choice for UK, and while Jordan would be my choice (a better fit for the song) I’d be happy to send MAID and I give them an 8/10

James
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James

It starts promising but ultimately goes nowhere. There’s no momentum although their harmonies are on point.