She’s one of Britain’s biggest television personalities, loved for her sunny demeanour and friendly persona. However, Lorraine Kelly has caused outrage amongst Eurofans with her weekly column in The Sun.
The theatrical artist (for tax purposes) writes of a “daft Eurovision bias” and an “annual humiliation” for the United Kingdom.
The breakfast TV star begins:
“I knew we had no chance of winning thanks to a combination of Brexit, a desire to cut us Brits down to size — and because we fail to treat the whole shebang as a “serious” song contest, but instead revel in its deliciously bonkers campness”.
Her attention quickly turns to Michael Rice’s last-place finish. While acknowledging his “lacklustre staging” and “fairly average song”, she argues that the “Bigger Than Us” singer was a victim of “soul-sucking” and “frankly vindictive” voting.
She struggles to fathom that the Hartlepool native might be worse than “a woman from Australia warbling on a pogo stick”, “pound-shop heavy metal clowns from Iceland” and a “creepy couple from Slovenia who looked like serial killers”.
According to Kelly, “Arcade” doesn’t even belong on “a rip-off album by a Coldplay tribute band”. Interestingly, Duncan Laurence is at #67 on the official British charts. Michael Rice is not inside the top 100.
However, she did have a soft spot for one non-British song — John Lundvick’s “Too Late For Love”. She claims the Melodifestivalen winner was “robbed”. Until she gets evidence to the contrary, she is blaming racism.
“I’m convinced the reason Sweden didn’t win is because John happens to be black. It’s a bloody disgrace but, until it’s proven otherwise, this was down to parts of Europe exhibiting worrying signs of racism”.
Lorraine Kelly’s Eurovision verdict
Lorraine “reluctantly” concludes that the UK should quit the contest to “avoid being ritually humiliated every year”.
She is convinced that not even “Robbie Williams and Adele singing a montage of their most successful hits” could avoid last-place”. Alas, her theory can never be tested since the greatest hits of both stars would predate the 1 September rule. And even if they did, it’s unlikely that a satisfactory medley could be squeezed inside three minutes.
Yet in the next paragraph, she suggests that BBC should send a known name.
“If the BBC won’t go all out for an established artist singing a song that’s already a proven hit to give us a chance of not being humiliated, then let’s hang on to a bit of dignity and step away”.
However, despite calling for a Eurovision Brexit, Kelly still wants to watch the contest.
“We could continue to enjoy the spectacle and cheer our favourite acts without the embarrassment of the poor “plucky Brit” being led like a lamb to the slaughter”.
The column shares the sentiments Lorraine expressed on her eponymous chat show last week.
They say what's Macedonia produces?! Girls, Macedonian songs on ESC are far way better than the British ones… pic.twitter.com/ega2IaznGJ
— ??? ?? (@mrbldrs) May 23, 2019
Needless to say, Twitter has not reacted positively to her comments.
Wow…Lorraine clearly doesn't know that hell hath no fury like an army of Eurofans scorned pic.twitter.com/v6OlamG27D
— Jaz (@EurovisionByJaz) May 26, 2019
To say Lorraine doesn't like Eurovision she wont stop talking about it, SHE TALKS ABOUT IT MORE THAN US
— ???? ????? stan (@OttLepland) May 26, 2019
— Dan International (@tewyUK) May 26, 2019
Well this is new. Apparently we can send artists to perform established hits at Eurovision. If only Lorraine Kelly had said before now. Also: Eurovision costs the BBC £300K. Probably the same as a month of her breakfast show. Which gets far less viewers https://t.co/MKyinS9JLL
— Ed Gleave (@EdHotTV) May 26, 2019
Oh I just read Lorraine's Eurovision column and now I'm sad 🙁
— Adrian Bradley (@adebradley) May 25, 2019
What do you think of Lorraine Kelly’s comments? Do you agree with her? Let us know in the comments below.