Mikolas Josef shares his battle with anxiety, saying social media left him feeling like “a wasteland” inside

This year has been a struggle for many people, and Eurovision stars are no exception. Now Mikolas Josef is using his platform to raise awareness about mental health by recounting his own difficulties. The much-loved Eurovision 2018 star has shared an emotional post on Instagram, explaining that he cut social media from his life as he fought extreme anxiety.

The Czech hit maker begins by describing how he quit his record label earlier this year, and recounts the internal struggle behind the decision: “Out of all the things in this world I ever had the struggle saying, this one was the hardest”.

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Spring 2020 I came to the record office and said I quit. Out of all the things in this world I ever had the struggle saying this one was the hardest. I was ashamed of looking weak and so instead of saying “I need help” I tried to keep all the pride I had left and walk away from it. Now I know that to show weakness and take the judgement that follows is a sign of strength. I have anxiety and over the years it got to its peak early this year. The first time I had one was back in 2016. Fast forward to 2020 my body shakes for 4 hours, heart races like Im having a heart attack, when I stand Im falling down, I cant put words together and my asthma makes it feel like there is no oxygen in the air. The panic that takes over your mind is overwhelming. Are you Mikolas Josef? “Yes but I wish I wasnt.” Sharing this with your family members is emberassing enough simply because you fear they will think lesser of you. Sharing this with the world was just unspeakable for me at the time and I needed space to step back and figure out where to go with my life so that it leads away from this. I cutted social media out of my life because looking at people showing off their success was crushing my self worth to bits. I realized I became shallow. Based my confidence on 20k$ outfits while the inside of me was a wasteland. Realized I paid way too much attention to what people outside the creative circle are saying about my music and that took the love away from it. I became distant from myself, my feelings, my values. I felt like a stranger in my own company. I almost never went out, never really had friends or buddies it was complete social isolation and I got so cutted away from the real world that my thoughts were my only companions. Real success isnt being #1. Aiming for that only fucks you up. You only really feel fullfilled when you love what you do. And I realized that. Found love for the things I do, for the people around me, for me and for my demons too. They are my teachers not my enemies. Every day is worth living. Every day is a lesson. Thanks to all those who suffered through this with me. I cant thank you enough for your bravery. Xoxo M

A post shared by Mikolas Josef (@mikolasjosef) on Aug 31, 2020 at 12:29pm PDT

“I was ashamed of looking weak and so instead of saying ‘I need help’ I tried to keep all the pride I had left and walk away from it,” he explains. “Now I know that to show weakness and take the judgement that follows is a sign of strength. I have anxiety and over the years it got to its peak early this year. The first time I had [a panic attack] was back in 2016. Fast forward to 2020 my body shakes for 4 hours, heart races like I’m having a heart attack, when I stand I’m falling down, I can’t put words together and my asthma makes it feel like there is no oxygen in the air. The panic that takes over your mind is overwhelming.”

“Are you Mikolas Josef? Yes, but I wish I wasn’t”

Mikolas also explains how difficult it was for him to share his problems with the people closest to him: “Sharing this with your family members is embarrassing enough simply because you fear they will think lesser of you. Sharing this with the world was just unspeakable for me at the time and I needed space to step back and figure out where to go with my life so that it leads away from this.”

He also describes how he felt towards social media, which he cut from his life completely. Actually, this post is his only photo on Instagram right now, and his thumbnail is an image which reads “I will be back.”

“I cut social media out of my life because looking at people showing off their success was crushing my self worth to bits. I realized I became shallow. Based my confidence on $20k outfits while the inside of me was a wasteland. Realized I paid way too much attention to what people outside the creative circle are saying about my music and that took the love away from it.”

“I became distant from myself, my feelings, my values. I felt like a stranger in my own company. I almost never went out, never really had friends or buddies it was complete social isolation and I got so cut away from the real world that my thoughts were my only companions. Real success isnt being #1. Aiming for that only fucks you up.”

However, Mikolas has found some light in this dark journey: “You only really feel fulfilled when you love what you do. And I realized that. Found love for the things I do, for the people around me, for me and for my demons too. They are my teachers not my enemies. Every day is worth living. Every day is a lesson. Thanks to all those who suffered through this with me. I cant thank you enough for your bravery. Xoxo M.”

Have you ever felt like Mikolas? Do you still play his Eurovision song and his other music? Send him a message of love down below!

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