Turku ’bout to get lit! On Saturday, February 25th Finland’s Uuden Musiikin Kilpailu finally goes live. The country’s national selection for Eurovision 2023 is already considered one of the strongest — if not the strongest — of the year, owing to the quality of the artists and their songs. From frothy dance filler to an emotional ballad to mainstream pop rock, the Finns have already served.
Ahead of the show, the Wiwi Jury — our in-house panel of musical unprofessionals — have listened to and rated each of the songs. The panel for this jury includes 10 people, who hail from Finland, the U.K, Australia, Germany, Romania, and the United States.
Does The Voice of Finland alum Keira have any business on the dancefloor? Read on to find out…
Keira with “No Business On The Dancefloor”
Dayana: This song has got it all — confidence, vibe, vocals, and even a flute. However, there’s something missing for me. I feel like Keira has major Eurovision potential, and I’ll be happy to see her at UMK in the future. But with this song it’s just not her time.
Deban: A pop banger with oriental touches, this track has immediacy and channels enough confidence to lure you to the dancefloor. It’s a strong debut from The Voice of Finland alum, who comes with solid visuals in hand. However, as solid a submission as this is, it feels too lightweight to stand out in this strong field of seven entries.
Tom: Loving the diversity in this year’s UMK. Not sure that Harry Potter swings but I am happy to buy into this cool, radio-friendly track. I love the Dua Lipa pop meets folklore flute vibe. Very listenable but dare I say…a little forgettable in this field of songs. Gives me tiny hints of a more chilled out folky version of Serebro’s “Song #1”. A strong effort to bring something different to the table.
Samuel: “No Business On The Dancefloor” was the first UMK song out and what a great start it was… until the flutes. It was going so well. I was enticed, it was catchy, Keira was slaying. Then all of a sudden this agitating, grating sound hits me like a brick. I wish I could have walked into the studio before they’d finished and beg for alternatives. Flutes have “no business” being on this otherwise very catchy, strong song. It is remarkable how much one little thing taints it for me, but it really does.
Sebastian: Props to Keira for producing an absolutely solid pop-banger track. “No Business On The Dancefloor” is a modernised hark back to western-enthno pop fusions of the 2000s, with an undeniably catchy chorus and hook designed to burrow itself as an earworm. Very TikTok friendly, here’s hoping the campy, oversaturated videography can be recreated with some solid dance moves and vocals from Keira, who, while solid on a recorded track, needs to show more range in the live performance. Easily my favourite song of the pre-selection thus far.
Rick: A completely different flavor and nothing you’d expect from Finland. Keira sounds very good and I already see a powerful stage show coming. This could surprise but it’s not unique enough for me to fall completely in love with it. There’s just a little oomph missing for me. She’s a star though.
Ruxandra: The songs from this UMK edition are really on fire! I personally like this one; it’s catchy and full of confidence. The flute on this song is a game changer because it brings a huge improvement to the instrumental and an authentic sound. I don’t know if this was meant to create a connection with the Finnish culture or if it’s a traditional instrument, but it sounds very good. The lyrics are quite easy for my taste, but, after all, it’s a dance song… Who doesn’t like a BOP from time to time?
Calvin: Some lyrics here are either thought extremely outside of the box or just random, but hey, the beat is so catchy that I can’t remember a single word of the verses. The instrumental part definitely is the standout feature but also necessary to give the song an edge. Other nations would kill for a glimpse of Keira. Unfortunately, Finland has stronger acts in UMK and I don’t think that this song will have a shot to win it.
Suzanne: This song doesn’t have a lot of meaning, though it’s fun pop. I like the different looks that span eras. Keira is a beautiful girl who is more suited for a wholesome look than the oversexualized look.
William: I don’t know who decided to shoehorn a flute into a euro-dance track, but thank god they did. It saves “No Business on the Dancefloor” from becoming overly bland and forgettable, even if it remains a little disposable and plastic. No matter. The flute and the flippant lyrics suggest the songwriters are in on the joke — they’re here to entertain and they succeed in that mission. Even in the absence of a strong bridge, this is a guilty pleasure that, in the right moment and with the right drink, will have people poppin’ those corks. Get it, gurl!
We have removed the highest and lowest scores before calculating the result to weed out any potential bias.
The Wiwi Jury Average: 6.75
Do you think that Keira has business on the dancefloor? Can she slay her way to the top of UMK 2023? Let us know down below.
Our overall rankings:
- Benjamin — “Hoida mut” 8.5
- Käärijä — “Cha Cha Cha” 8.13
- KUUMAA — “Ylivoimainen” 8.07
- Robin Packalen — “Girls Like You” 7.19
- Lxandra — “Something to Lose” 7.13
- Keira — “No Business On The Dancefloor” 6.75
- The Portion Boys — “Samaa taivasta katsotaan” 6.63
She is great!! And very catchy.
But i’m in love with Cha cha cha
This flute-heavy banger has every business being the one to bring people on the dancefloor. The production is top notch, and Keira is very convincing in her vocal delivery. Both verses and the choruses bring their distinct melodies with memorable beats. The lyrics are unapologetically camp and reference-heavy, which in this case works in its favor. Its only issue is that it’s not competing in DMGP or Songvakeppnin, but UMK. The competition is ridiculously high. – 7/10
Indeed. All agreed here. 🙂
go Keira! Show them that they got no buisness on the UMK stage!
cha cha cha
OT: MF Heat 3 snippets are out and once again absolutely nothing memorable at the slightest….
I don’t agree. Marcus and Martinus is great! I think we have a winner candidate..
While they are best of this bunch I’m still hoping sf 4 songs will be better – I mean Loreen, Mariette and Smash Into Pieces are there. That has to mean it’s better, right? Right?!
Air is better than both Ukraine’s and Norway’s cheesy songs. So it’s just fine!
They are out already.
I know..I literally commented about them.
Good for you.
What..? Why are so many people here so salt fueled Jesus.
I wonder the same..
Ok, so will you comment on the oversexualised men who perform with minimal clothes as well, or are you just going to pollute the place with sexist remarks? It’s 2023, not 1900.
I’m actually going to comment on the song, rather than on an apparent lack of a native speaking editor, which I imagine is a volunteer role anyone can probably apply for anyhow. What I really like about “No Business On The DanceFloor” is that I remember every lyric and every part of the melody very easily, even if some of the lyrics don’t make sense without knowledge of a certain amount of culture. Did Harry Potter swing it? Who is Cardi anyways? Well, I don’t actually care, and that’s the point. The song delivers an easy dance tune to a… Read more »
Probably a role you applied for and failed to get lol. This track is average at best and would be lost in the craziness that is Eurovision. Its a solid 5.5 out of 10. Not bad not great.
Thanks. I don’t know why you were voted down for your reply, so I just upvoted you back. 🙂
Was your college friend a swinger?
Ahaha, you know, at first I thought you were quoting a film, but then I remembered you actually know some things about me in real life. So… probably yes, either way. 🙂
You mentioned it a week or two ago. I quickly scribbled it into my “Purple Mask” file, which is getting quite thick now.
Nothing much left to know then. You’ll likely get bored of me soon and want to find a new file to love. 😀
Wiwibloggs continues to need a native language editor here. This is not how you use the words “agitating”, “hark”, “burrow itself as an earworm”, “videography”, “easy”, “outside the box”, “kill for a glimpse”, “oversexualized” and “flippant”. I understand they aren’t all native speakers (although some are) but good lord is the writing bad on a technical level.
Ah, Suzzane, how I’ve missed your comments and always having to disagree with many of your points, haha (I’m obviously just fooling around, although I like Keira’s entry a lot).
I am alas on the cha cha cha train, but this is a solid song too, and I wouldn’t be mad with any of the songs in this selection winning umk
Song sounds great despite the dodgy lyrics.
Don’t really see in what way Keira’s look is oversexualised. Her appearance throughout the music video is entirely appropriate to the song that she’s presenting, to me at least.
“Pop it like champagne bottles”
Her look in the music video is entirely appropriate for what the song is going for, but the awkward part is that this song didn’t go to someone who’s at least 18. As the song itself isn’t that explicit, I’ll leave that part out of my review entirely.
Noa Kirel will slay any other woman this year.. and every man also.. I can already tell…
And.. in any case, I love “Hoida Mut”…
you alone are single-handedly making me hope for noa’s song to be worse than unicorn vibes and flop. is her team paying you to never shut up about her in every single article? i’m genuinely asking…
No they’re just naturally annoying.
Stop being such a Shmendrik.
This is actually my favourite song of this year so far and my most played song. Whilst I’d love to see it at Eurovision, I don’t think it’s the right choice for Finland, as Cha Cha Cha would get a better result for them.
One reference (which I don’t even get) ruins the whole song for me. Sorry, Keira.
I read a book called “Sorcerer to the Crown” recently. Much better than Harry Potter. Zen Cho is the author. #WiwiBookClub
I never got into Hairy Potter personally, not the books or the movies. That universe just never seemed interesting to me.
I did, sadly. I forgive myself, I was a child. Maybe a gay character would have nice, but no. Then there’s the anti-semitism, lack of diversity… this is all without including JKR’s transphobic views. Oh, well. Live and learn.
Have been nice
Dumbledore doesn’t count.
It sounds like they just wrote the first thing that came to mind just so it would rhyme lol.
Is “sweating it like salty water” a thing?
*Shrugs in genuine confusion*
It’s probably “Cardi…ology.”