Following the grand reveal of the seven acts competing in Finland’s Uuden Musiikin Kilpailu (UMK) 2024, Finnish broadcaster Yle is dropping the lyrics videos for each entry one by one. Next up is Windows95man with the song “No Rules”.

According to producers, Windows95man is an embodiment of the 90s, who frees a once timid family man from his everyday life. It all started when Teemu Keisteri’s home videos on Youtube began to circulate all over the world. One of the videos even ended up in a commercial aired during an NHL game.

In 2013, a DJ gig the Flow Festival brought the character known as Windows95man to life. His artist costume consists of a pair of very cut-off shorts made by Keisteri’s friend and a Windows95 t-shirt ordered online. Since then, Windows95man has performed at Helsinki’s New Year’s celebration in 2022, as an opening act for Käärijä at the Helsinki Ice Hall and at numerous smaller events. 

Many have also come across his character, who is known for his wild and crazy stage performances, in a Youtube video, where he gets an entire planeload of passengers to lose control to Darude’s Sandstorm.

Windows95man releases “No Rules”

At UMK, Windows95man will be releasing his very first single, No Rules. The song title refers to the artist’s motto, which appears in both his music and other artistic productions. In addition to his DJ gigs, Keisteri is a visual artist who is known for his artist persona, Ukkeli: a representation of cultural phenomena.

Henri Piispanen is the singer in No Rules. Keisteri explains that the chorus of the song was so challenging that he had trouble finding a singer with enough technical skill to pull it off. Piispanen was the only one whose voice could go high enough.

“In my opinion, all Finns are a bit looney-tunes deep inside, and I wanted to bring that out more. Now I can share my music with an even bigger audience as well as spread the joyous message of No Rules,” says Keisteri.

UMK24 jury: “Known until now as the ultimate party DJ, Windows95man is releasing his first own song in UMK. Nostalgic Eurodance influences and fast tempos are on the rise all over the world and No Rules offers both in a fabulous package. The song has the same irresistible exuberance and unique energy that Windows95man has captivated people all over Finland and the world with”.

UMK 2024 song release schedule

  • Thu, 11 January: Cyan Kicks – Dancing With Demons
  • Fri, 12 January: Sexmane – Mania
  • Mon, 15 January: Sara Siipola – Paskana
  • Tue, 16 January: Jesse Markin – Glow
  • Wed, 17 January Windows95man  No Rules
  • Thu, 18 January Sini Sabotage – Kuori mua
  • Fri, 19 January Mikael Gabriel x nublu – Vox Populi

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vetrina
vetrina
2 months ago

clownery act

AMAAN STORM
AMAAN STORM
2 months ago

There are so many mid 90’s inspired Euro-dance tracks this year right across the selection of songs that are all gunning for a place in the Eurovision line up, and I’m here for it! This is the kind of music that was dominating MTV playslists and the charts right across Europe when I was growing up as a young teen in the mid 90’s. The cheesier Euro-dance never really made it across to us in the UK…it remained in the Eastern European part of the continent and was being churned out at large by Germany, Russia, Belgium, Holland and Italy.… Read more »

Polegend Godnova
2 months ago

this is too tryhard to be enjoyable

Dida
Dida
2 months ago

I’m quite surprised… It’s a good song!

Fizzpunk
Fizzpunk
2 months ago

Quite underwhelmed with my first listen.
I liked the lyrics tho.
I feel a 2nd coming up!!

Fizzpunk
Fizzpunk
2 months ago
Reply to  Fizzpunk

the 2nd listen did overrule the impression of the 1st one.
This is too cringe and it started irritating me.

Fizzpunk
Fizzpunk
2 months ago
Reply to  Fizzpunk

the 2nd listen didnt make it better tbh.

ANDREW BROWN
ANDREW BROWN
2 months ago

Please Finland do not select this. Someone is trying to hard to say hay im crazy. No thanks

Whisker
Whisker
2 months ago

So humorous! So slaying! I LOVE IT!

sparkling points
sparkling points
2 months ago

It’s an ok song albeit the visuals are way ott.

Anna
Anna
2 months ago

Feels like today’s Eurovision is all about being as stupid and weird as possible…sigh

Alaska
Alaska
2 months ago

White trash has never been trashier. And whiter. I felt embarrassed watching it.

Ibravic
Ibravic
2 months ago
Reply to  Alaska

White trash is Rednex from Melodifestivalen 2006!

Yuarith
Yuarith
2 months ago
Reply to  Alaska

Racist much?

Jamie
Jamie
2 months ago

This not even funny-bad. Just plain bad.

Alaska
Alaska
2 months ago
Reply to  Jamie

Agree.

Boo
Boo
2 months ago

There are so many Eurodance music in this year’s national finals, it will be interesting to see how many will get to Eurovision, if so there will be a chance we will get back to the mid 2000s era, I think no jury for semis are having its effect., and for some countries getting in to the final is the first initial goal.

Fizzpunk
Fizzpunk
2 months ago
Reply to  Boo

Agreed, bring back the ESC SF juries PLEEAASSEE!!!

Despicable Annie
Despicable Annie
2 months ago

He tries so hard to be funny that it’s depressing…

Noam600
Noam600
2 months ago

In one word? HORROR!
WTH is going on Finland! All the songs are bad!

Fizzpunk
Fizzpunk
2 months ago
Reply to  Noam600

You are such an anti-Finnatic.
Haters gonna Hate!!

Finland will winn as they always are the best in everything.
Mark my words. last year 2nd.

This years NR ONE!!

Stian F
Stian F
2 months ago

So far:
1: Sexmane
2: Jesse
3: Sara
4: Cyan Kicks (this pains me)
5: Windows95man

Stian F
Stian F
2 months ago

Oh my…. this is bad….

This is by far the worst of the 90s europop songs so far… but I still worry that it might become a guilty pleasure of mine after a few more listenings. LoL!

All the other songs in the Finnish selection are better though…heck, Waldo’s People entry back in 2009 was even better. LoL!

Olaf
Olaf
2 months ago

it’s crazy, it’s party, it’s Finland – bring it on!

Kobe
Kobe
2 months ago

Pulling out all the stops just to please the televoters.
Just bring back the juries for the semi-finals. Thanks!

Fizzpunk
Fizzpunk
2 months ago
Reply to  Kobe

Couldnt agree less.

Cila
Cila
2 months ago

Oh my god I love it so much. It has everything. If Finland sends this I’ll be cheering for them! All the other UMK-songs so far have left me feeling indifferent. My only question now – where can I hear this live?

Zanoni
Zanoni
2 months ago

We’ve had a good number of silly songs this year. To me, most of the popular ones either have more musical interest or better jokes than this (if not both).

Miss Uncongeniality
Miss Uncongeniality
2 months ago

This is like a mix between Portuon boys and Gunther and the sunshine girls

Jo.
Jo.
2 months ago

they rely too much on visuals, for both music and comedy aspects

The Voice of Reason
The Voice of Reason
2 months ago

I don’t understand the immediate hate for this song. Watch it get a mass Finnish televote appeal. It feels very Nordic to me!

Yuarith
Yuarith
2 months ago

I agree with what you say, but I dislike it, it feels too formulaic and tries hard to be the new Käärijä

Lolek
Lolek
2 months ago

Definitely a guilty pleasure song of mine. I almost hate to admit it but its my favourite UMK song so far.

John
John
2 months ago

This has Portion Boys vibes all over. The televote at UMK will be huge.

Bejba
Bejba
2 months ago

The Remaining Songs Better Be Good Because The Songs So Far Have Been Giving 15th Place In Semi Vibes

Nikita Zhukov
Nikita Zhukov
2 months ago

The overall quality of this year’s UMK is a downgrade from 2023 imo, even if the last two songs are musical masterpieces like we’ve never heard before, nothing’s gonna change that at this point This specific song dances in between being a joke entry and a serious one, leaning into the joke side a little big stronger We did have some “unusual” entries in UMK since its renaissance in 2020, but they all had a lot of charm to them, you just couldn’t hate them because they were actually so good I’m sure a lot of people will truly love… Read more »

Dandi Dansa
Dandi Dansa
2 months ago

Fun for the UMK evening, but unfortunately it should stay as that. It’s a bit too much to take at once, and there are more suitable songs for the win that might go for wider audience.

Yuarith
Yuarith
2 months ago

I didn’t like this, and I think this is the first time I say this about a UMK (post 2020) song 🙁

Yuarith
Yuarith
2 months ago
Reply to  Yuarith

Of course, it has a ton of appeal for the local audience and it’ll do great regardless of my opinion, but it’s too formulaic and Käärijä x Portion Boys wannabe for my taste :/

Itchymonkey
Itchymonkey
2 months ago

William I know you have to announce the new acts but we also know you spent great time working in Finland for many years on the jury there etc. Luxembourg, Estonia, Poland all have great acts so can we please focus on other countries with the same intense passion as Finland please. Variety is the spice of life

Itchymonkey
Itchymonkey
2 months ago
Reply to  Itchymonkey

I see the team get the bot accounts out to keep William honest lol

Eve
Eve
2 months ago

I liked it. Always good with some good old eurodance on Eurovision. Imagine, if we get few diva ballads in a row and then tadaaaan! Windows95man .
Is a good mood song and he sings very well.

Margaret
Margaret
2 months ago

People call this a “joke entry”, but this is the only one so far that has played in my head after the first listen. This is fantastic! My winner so far. Cyan Kicks got the visuals right but the hook was weak. Jesse’s song is great, but more radio than ESC. Saara is fantastic but there’s nothing particularly unique about her song. Mania was my favourite before this- I loved the rap in Finnish and the chorus, but I have concerns it won’t be great live. THIS brings EVERYTHING though. It’s catchy as hell, it has crazy potential to be… Read more »

Héctor
Héctor
2 months ago

Gunther could’ve had his moment in this era it seems now. Windows95man is probably winning it all but I’m not sure about this new trend. Novelty/Joke acts but done in a “professional way”. I’m not sure either about the other 6 or 7 songs like this one in other NFs.

Hector
Hector
2 months ago
Reply to  Héctor

I immediately thought of the Ding Dong song as well lol

Stian F
Stian F
2 months ago
Reply to  Héctor

You mean the same Günther that took part in UMK 2017? I guess you already forgot… thankfully the majority of the Finns vote for quality .

Bandido
Bandido
2 months ago

Jury 0 for sure!

Purple Mask
Purple Mask
2 months ago

Ahaha! A song called “No Rules” ironically follows the exact structure of almost every Eurodance song ever written. The melody is incredibly wide ranging and comically difficult to sing; that’s going to be challenging to sing live. I bet the staging for this song will be really OTT, so I’m looking forward to it. However, this really shouldn’t be the winning song; it’s a regular Eurodance track that follows the rules of song structure. Points for irony, maybe?

NoMoreEscAddicted
NoMoreEscAddicted
2 months ago

Well…not my thing but I respect. Good luck to them.
Tbh UMK doesn’t give so much to me so far this year. Cyan Kicks still the best option for me and only 2 songs left.

The Voice of Reason
The Voice of Reason
2 months ago

Cyan Kicks were a BIG disappointment for me. I was expecting something as great as ‘Hurricane’ but instead it was all visuals zero melody.

Nicomro
Nicomro
2 months ago

Zéro Melody ?? The hook of Deamons is so much more efficient to me that Hurricane which was a bit bland.
Cyan Kicks are bringing 2000’s nostalgia with their Melody and i’m personnaly still rooting for them. Awaiting for the last entries to be released

NoMoreEscAddicted
NoMoreEscAddicted
2 months ago

The melody of “No rules” and its hook are better for you?

NoMoreEscAddicted
NoMoreEscAddicted
2 months ago

No shade at all, real question

Eurovision fan
Eurovision fan
2 months ago

Wait until you hear the last song, it’s huge, trust me 😀

NoMoreEscAddicted
NoMoreEscAddicted
2 months ago
Reply to  Eurovision fan

I’m not a rap stan so Idk, maybe estonian rap will convince me more…will see. Every time there’s a rap part in songs it puts me off instantly, it breaks the melody and the hook of the song for me, look Jerry and Alyona song for ex I like it until this rap part, without rap it would be my Vidbir winner.
Btw how you can already know that the last UMK song will be very good without the song being out…

Helloman
Helloman
2 months ago
Reply to  Eurovision fan

Have you even heard that song (MG and Nublu)?

Its really bad, quite lame and definitely not huge.

Eurovision fan
Eurovision fan
2 months ago
Reply to  Helloman

I heard the short snippet and the song sounds absolutely iconic.

Kosey
Kosey
2 months ago

This is my favourite so far. It’s so energetic and anthemic.

Jonas
Jonas
2 months ago
Reply to  Kosey

… but it is mocking songs like this?

Kosey
Kosey
2 months ago
Reply to  Jonas

I may have missed the references to what they are mocking? There is clearly humour in the video but I didn’t see any malice?

Jonas
Jonas
2 months ago
Reply to  Kosey

Maybe “mocking” is the wrong word. “Pastiche” might be more accurate.

Kosey
Kosey
2 months ago
Reply to  Jonas

I like pastiche, I would take it as a complement – it shows that your artistic work has had impact and resonance.

Purple Mask
Purple Mask
2 months ago
Reply to  Kosey

Ahh, your favourites and mine are not matching so far this season. This is fascinating. 🙂

Kosey
Kosey
2 months ago
Reply to  Purple Mask

Variety is the spice of life!

Grft
Grft
2 months ago

Please Finland not this one. Please please please Finland. When this ends up in a contest with Super Rob, 5miinust, Joost Klein, Baby Lasagna, Kaboom and the other 2000s joke entries, this won’t stand out at all.

Nikki
Nikki
2 months ago

In the land of the weirdos, Kaarija is still the King, but I can get behind this.

Still going for Cyan Kicks, tho.

  1. Cyan Kicks
  2. Sara
  3. Windows95
  4. Sexmane
  5. Jesse
The Voice of Reason
The Voice of Reason
2 months ago
Reply to  Nikki

Problem for me is that I cant find Cyan Kicks’s hook for their song. I remember the visuals but not the song, so Windows95 and Mania trumps them.

past
past
2 months ago

Great song! My favorite so far.

Teddi
Teddi
2 months ago

I love this 90’s disco silly vibes! My favorite so far along with Cyan Kicks! Finland always serves!

Réi Slaya
Réi Slaya
2 months ago

This is just so bad… this deserves last place and zero points??

Melissa
Melissa
2 months ago

Try as I might this feels a little too evocative of Planet of the Bass if anyone caught that going viral during last Summer. I definitely respect it for being its own different song and it’s only inspired, not at all a rip-off, but I’ve just never been able to really stomach a song that feels like they’re chasing someone elses specific viral trend instead of being their own thing. Even if I liked the song my feelings about it are going to trend more towards the positive as time moves on but for the time being I cannot get… Read more »

Jonas
Jonas
2 months ago

1) Sexmane
2) Sara
3) Jesse
4) Cyan Kicks
5) windows95man

Jonas
Jonas
2 months ago
Reply to  Jonas

I never want to hear this song again. I know it is deliberately “bad”, but I would much prefer to listen something unintentionally bad such as Vampires Are Alive. There can be some pleasure from a “so bad it’s good” song, but not when it is contrived.

Ari
Ari
2 months ago
Reply to  Jonas

Really? I think Vampires is infinitely worse. Intentionally bad vs. unintentionally embarrassing. It wasn’t even funny to watch, it was just sad. And those cardboard figures on stage. And those voices. Ouch.

Jonas
Jonas
2 months ago
Reply to  Ari

Someone slipping on a banana skin is funny. Someone pretending to slip on a banana skin is not.

Lauren MIA
Lauren MIA
2 months ago
Reply to  Jonas

I found both of these scenarios not-funny. Just like I dislike embarrassing song no matter if they’re bad intentionally or unintentionally.

Alaska
Alaska
2 months ago
Reply to  Jonas

I agree with Jonas on this one. This is someone pretending to slip on a banana skin, and that’s painfully embarrassing to watch. Borderlining offensive, to be honest.

Lauren MIA
Lauren MIA
2 months ago
Reply to  Jonas

I have the same top 5.

The Voice of Reason
The Voice of Reason
2 months ago

OKAY!!! This is definitely the best one so far. It’s like Kaarija, the Swedish dance artist Gunther and the 90s had a baby and I am HERE for it! The aggressive beat and piano in the background conjures up a great image of what the live staging could be. This guy has HUGE potential to win UMK if he stages the song right. Overall I dont think Finland are gonna get another 2nd place placement at Eurovision but they can still get a top 15 or 10 result or a televote style magnet song and this is it so far!

Melissa
Melissa
2 months ago

I know my own comment compares this to something else so pot meets kettle in terms of “don’t just compare a song to something/someone else” but do we really need to try and find the next Käärijä already?

The Voice of Reason
The Voice of Reason
2 months ago
Reply to  Melissa

We don’t but this has a different kind of vibe to Kaarija. He combined MULTIPLE genres, whereas this is clearly 90s pop mixed with 00s dance. They’re going clearly for one genre I think and sometimes all you need is a simple song with a catchy hook to do well.

Bandido
Bandido
2 months ago

No! This is old fashioned, there were better options!

Cila
Cila
2 months ago

Käärijä and Gunther were my top 2 artists on Spotify last year, so that should be the perfect mix for me. And YES, I love this! It’s everything I wanted, and it really reminds me of Gunther

Ari
Ari
2 months ago

EuroDance is not my style at all but I suppose it’s quite nice for its genre. Still holding out hope for the remaining 2. So far, the choice is simple: Sara Siipola is the best yet.