The only thing that can be funnier than Eurovision songs, are the artists who sing them. Their reaction to the results tend to be either as cheesy as their song… or as strange as their song. We have found the top 10 funniest reactions to the results from different Eurovision artists over the past few years, and compiled them into a list of quotes that we can all squint at and struggle to decipher. I still don’t know whether we should blame the crazy atmosphere or the free champagne!
10. Dorians (Armenia, 2013)
Dorians were maybe a little bit too excited when they qualified for the final, considering the fact that they completely forget what Eurovision was all about. “YEAH BABY! BRING IT ON! THAT’S THE SH*T I’M TALKING ABOUT MAN! WOO! I think we qualified because people miss live music, real music, yino?” What? You think you qualified because the people who have just sat through an entire hour of Eurovision, A LIVE CONCERT, miss live music?! What do you think Eurovision is? Do you think that you’re the only artist that sang live? Wow. Well someone has clearly missed the whole concept of Eurovision.
9. PeR (Latvia, 2013)
We’re all so used to hearing singers tell us how happy they are with their position in the Contest, we forget about those unfortunate artists that didn’t make it to the final. PeR from Latvia definitely didn’t take the news well. “We thought that we’d at least earned a spot in the finals, probably last place but I don’t give a dam.” It’s good that they at least had confidence in their performance, even if Europe didn’t. Of course it would be Europe that’s at fault for them not qualifying, it had nothing to do with their performance or live vocals!
8. Eldar Qasimov (Azerbaijan, 2011)
We can all agree that Eldar Qasimov, 50% of Ell and Nikki, should stick to singing rather than TV presenting. But at least he tried to stay professional rather than divulge his opinions during the show, and waited until minutes after the show to share them. “You know, as the host of the show I couldn’t say who was my favourite. But now I can say that my favourite was SWEDEN!” Really Ell? Is that really true? Because the odds of you making that up now that Loreen has already won the show aren’t really in your favour.
7. Can Bonomo (Turkey, 2012)
Turkey’s Can Bonomo seemed to be a bit distracted after the Eurovision final to talk about Eurovision itself. He instead decided to talk about how much he loved Macedonia’s singer, Kaliopi. “This is the GODDESS of the Eurovision actually! The one thing that I am so happy about the Eurovision thing is that one of the candidates and the other thing is that I met her!” Despite not getting his grammar correct, and the overuse of the word “thing”, this seemed to be a nice enough message. But we would rather hear a few thoughts on “the Eurovision thing”, considering the fact that “the Eurovision thing” is the reason why he’s in Baku!
6. Cezar (Romania 2013)
Everything Cezar says and does is always a tad overly dramatic. After his Eurovision performance, he certainly kept up his reputation of confusing everyone by his total craziness, “I think that I offer everything, and I offer my soul. That’s why I say “you are my soul” because there is an exchange of energy between me and the audience.” On cloud Cezar, we think that means he’s pleased with his performance. Cezar clearly loves his fans, but I’m sure even they don’t understand what he means by “offering his soul” during his performance. If his entire song was an exchange of energy between him and the audience in the arena, maybe that was why everyone watching on TV was so confused by the total madness which was Cezar’s performance.
5. Cascada (Germany 2013)
It was bad enough that Cascada finished in 21st place at Eurovision, but it’s even worse when you realise that Natalie jinxed the whole thing as soon as she came offstage. “I’m like, BLLAAAHHHH! The audience are so cool tonight, you can’t even imagine. I made a tiny little mistake but I don’t think anyone noticed!” The irony speaks for itself really. I hate to break it to you Natalie, but I think a few people did notice your “tiny little mistake” considering you were voted the worst live vocals of 2013. Some may even say you were “like, BLLAAAHHHH!” both on the stage and off the stage thanks to those ridiculous stairs.
4. Gianluca Bezzina (Malta, 2013)
No matter how shocked you are when your country makes it to the Eurovision final, you always need to remember how to breathe. Something Gianluca from Malta clearly forgot to do when he spoke to a reporter after hearing the semi final results, “We are so happy to be here we are so happy to be one of the finalists we will actually get on the stage again and we will actually smile again on stage and we will actually smile to millions of people again. I’m so happy…exhilarated I.. I don’t have the wo- EUPHORIC! That’s the word actually! I’m euphoric! Haha!” Okay Gianluca, stop. Count to ten. Breathe. Now next time, try to speak a tad slower so we can make sense of what you are saying.
3. Marco Mengoni (Italy 2013)
It’s perfectly acceptable to have a celebratory drink when you find out you’ve been placed 7th in the Eurovision final. But maybe Marco should have waited until the press had cleared the greenroom before he started on the champagne, just so he wasn’t slurring his words when he spoke to a reporter. “YEAAHH! This was a… faannttaassttiiicc…experience… great, great, great experience…a BIIGGG community…EMOOOTIONAL community…” Um, what are you talking about? What community? Do you need a translator or coffee?
2. Jedward (Ireland, 2011 & 2012)
Did Jedward really get confused between Loreen and breakfast TV presenter Lorraine Kelly only minutes after Eurovision 2012? It seems so, considering they were yelling this at every nearby camera, “We’re so happy that Lorraine won the Eurovision this year in Azerbaijan! We had breakfast with Lorraine this morning at our Hotel! WE WERE BREATHING THE SAME AIR AS HER!” Well at least their happy with Sweden’s victory even if they are a bit confused about the name of the artist. They don’t seem to be bitter about a 19th place finish either. But come on, it’s Jedward. When are they ever not happy?
1. Andrius Pojavis (Lithuania, 2013)
When acts fail to finish in the top 20, they tend to smile gracefully and tell everyone that they are thankful just to make it past the semi-final. But not Andrius from Lithuania. After the Final in Malmö, he said to a reporter, “I wanted to be the eighth…eighth was my dream, you know? And what was I, twentiest? What’s the f*cking number twentiest?!” I don’t know. What is the number twentiest? I’ve certainly never heard of it. I don’t think anyone told him that he was supposed to pretend to be happy with 22nd place, even if he wasn’t really. No one likes a sore loser Andrius!