As Eurovision fans spread across our continent, we have a lot of highs but there are also a lot of lows. We’ve put together 15 phrases guaranteed to fill Eurofans from Iceland to Azerbaijan with fear.
1. The BBC finding a song with “instant impact and real memory staying power.”
PLEASE GOD NO.
2. “It’ll look better on the big stage.”
No amount of stage is going to make this hot mess better.
3. Rap
Rappers leave, get out, right now.
4. “We’ve decided to do something different with the interval act this year.”
Just let last year’s winner perform their new single for the love of god.
5. When a spokesperson sings their points
YOU CAN’T SING, YOU AREN’T FUNNY AND ALL WE CARE ABOUT ARE THE THREE BIG ONES, GOT IT?
6. Songs with “lively” dance routines
This is just glossing over bad vocal isn’t it?
7. Singers with a “unique” voice
Unique does not necessarily mean good…
8. Magic
CURSE ALL EUROVISION MAGICIANS.
9. Returning artists
You had your time, get out.
10. “The song being written by a veteran composer…”
Cover your ears people.
11. “…and being bigged up by the broadcaster…”
Never trust a broadcaster.
12. “…only to be as entertaining as a bucket of sick.”
HELP.
13. When the only thing to say about a song is that it is “catchy”.
AKA annoying as f*ck.
14. “Alternative” dance routines
Don’t try and distract us from the naaaaaasty song with ratchet moves y’all.
15. “Wait for the hair change”
HAVE MERCY PLEASE.
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Image: BBC
“Thank you for the amazing, spectacular, wonderful show tonight”. Jesus.
When all these songs are bops cept s**s
@Vladimir
That’s from the Swedish Smorgasbord in 2013 where she was “captured by a lovestorm” (and the windmachine)
Did Carola fall from the stage?
“That song is a real dark horse”, meaning nobody likes that awful song except yourself, and you just assume that someone else in the continent will vote for it.
“Good Evening Europe and Good Morning Australia” (for some), but they’ll probably get used to it eventually.
Yes! As was mentioned below, when they mention their points “goes to our neighbor!”….don’t do that, it’ll encourage booing haha!
Georgia & Greece had rap in their songs 2011.
Greece also had 2014.
They were good songs.
There will be some adjustments to the costuming.
the list is spot on! but don’t forget:
“12 points goes to our FRIENDS…”
make it stop. D;
You forgot the most obvious one
“Anything can still happen” when one country has already built up a 100 point lead!!!
Greece survived with the rapping in 2011.
Also, you guys might want to add this to your Eurovision gif collection too
https://imgflip.com/gif/2b4nm