As Eurovision fans spread across our continent, we have a lot of highs but there are also a lot of lows. We’ve put together 15 phrases guaranteed to fill Eurofans from Iceland to Azerbaijan with fear

1. The BBC finding a song with “instant impact and real memory staying power.”

electro velvet terrify

PLEASE GOD NO. 

2. “It’ll look better on the big stage.”

san marino eurovision 2012

No amount of stage is going to make this hot mess better.

3. Rap

rona nishliu

Rappers leave, get out, right now.

4. “We’ve decided to do something different with the interval act this year.”

stefan raab

Just let last year’s winner perform their new single for the love of god. 

5. When a spokesperson sings their points

kati austria

YOU CAN’T SING, YOU AREN’T FUNNY AND ALL WE CARE ABOUT ARE THE THREE BIG ONES, GOT IT?

6. Songs with “lively” dance routines

tanja amazing

This is just glossing over bad vocal isn’t it?

7. Singers with a “unique” voice

azerbaijan angels

Unique does not necessarily mean good…

8. Magic

getter jaani wan

CURSE ALL EUROVISION MAGICIANS. 

9. Returning artists

carola fall

You had your time, get out. 

10. “The song being written by a veteran composer…”

ruth lorenzo

Cover your ears people.

11. “…and being bigged up by the broadcaster…”
poland milk maid

Never trust a broadcaster. 

12. “…only to be as entertaining as a bucket of sick.”
axel hirsoux

HELP. 

13. When the only thing to say about a song is that it is “catchy”.

basim

AKA annoying as f*ck.

14. “Alternative” dance routines
moldova eurovision 2012

Don’t try and distract us from the naaaaaasty song with ratchet moves y’all.

15. “Wait for the hair change”

christina weave

HAVE MERCY PLEASE. 

FOR MORE LISTS CLICK HERE

Image: BBC

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Liana
Liana
5 years ago

“Thank you for the amazing, spectacular, wonderful show tonight”. Jesus.

Steven
Steven
5 years ago

When all these songs are bops cept s**s

Lanti
Lanti
5 years ago

@Vladimir
That’s from the Swedish Smorgasbord in 2013 where she was “captured by a lovestorm” (and the windmachine)

Vladimir P.
Vladimir P.
5 years ago

Did Carola fall from the stage?

Racal
Racal
5 years ago

“That song is a real dark horse”, meaning nobody likes that awful song except yourself, and you just assume that someone else in the continent will vote for it.

Erin
Erin
5 years ago

“Good Evening Europe and Good Morning Australia” (for some), but they’ll probably get used to it eventually.

YoungsterJoey
YoungsterJoey
5 years ago

Yes! As was mentioned below, when they mention their points “goes to our neighbor!”….don’t do that, it’ll encourage booing haha!

#BringBackTheRapSongs
#BringBackTheRapSongs
5 years ago

Georgia & Greece had rap in their songs 2011.
Greece also had 2014.

They were good songs.

Eric C
Eric C
5 years ago

There will be some adjustments to the costuming.

fikri
fikri
5 years ago

the list is spot on! but don’t forget:

“12 points goes to our FRIENDS…”

make it stop. D;

Max
Max
5 years ago

You forgot the most obvious one

“Anything can still happen” when one country has already built up a 100 point lead!!!

Huh
Huh
5 years ago

Greece survived with the rapping in 2011.

Also, you guys might want to add this to your Eurovision gif collection too
https://imgflip.com/gif/2b4nm