For Norway’s biggest pop star, life is not merely a series of parties and sell-out concerts. In between the glamorous and filtered photos that the public sees, TIX deals with the unfiltered realities of everyday life — one where isolation and loneliness have frequently been overwhelming.

In January, during an emotional interview with the Norwegian chat show host Anne Lindmo, TIX discussed his battles — and recounted one of the darkest moments to date. Thankfully his story has a happy ending — and one involving his now 16-year-old cat.

On April 24, TIX re-uploaded the video to his YouTube channel with English subtitles so that his international fans could learn more about him and some of the emotions that colour his music. We are re-posting the interview below.

TIX tells Lindmo how his cat comforted him in hour of need

TIX (real name Andreas Haukeland) describes the jarring nature of standing on stage and entertaining thousands of people, only to find yourself alone afterwards.

“I travel alone, coming home to an empty house,” TIX says. “And then I go to the studio to make more music — alone.” Lindmo points out it’s a “unique and very lonely life,” which, at one point, made the real-life Andreas question whether he wanted to keep living. That prompts the “Fallen Angel” singer to unpack one difficult experience.

“It was May 17 (Norway’s Constitution Day), 2018. TIX had taken over, there was no room for Andreas. It had gone too far. And I don’t want to keep on doing this anymore. I stayed home most of the day to avoid people. Eventually, I was forced to join a party. At this party, I collapse. I’ve been carrying these thoughts for so long. I went home and decided that enough is enough.”

“I felt so tired and so desperate to escape it all. I’m writing a farewell letter. And then I write a will. I proceed to find a marker to write down my contact info — all my passwords and PINs on my arm.”

“I sat on the floor crying. And I was so scared. And then my cat comes in. His name is Findus. He strokes my legs and lies on my lap. He doesn’t usually do that. And then I started talking to him. And then I say to him, ‘Findus, my kitty.'”

At this point in the interview, with his eyes welling up, Andreas reaches down for the sunglasses that he wears on stage as TIX. He tells Lindmo that it’s “easier this way,” suggesting his stage look is in a sense a form of armour — and one that will help him express what is clearly a very painful memory.

“And then I say to him ‘Findus, none of my friends understand that I have problems. It’s just me. So what do we do now? Because I don’t want to live. But I don’t want to die.’ And that conversation with Findus became the lyrics to the song, ‘Jeg Vil Ikke Leve’ (I Don’t Want to Live).”

Later in the show, Lindmo points out that TIX is so successful he doesn’t need to remain in the industry — and that he could pursue a more anonymous career that may not carry as much stress.

But for TIX, his music isn’t just about him. It’s about how it impacts others — a reality that gives his work meaning and one that will keep him in the business: “I find it beautiful that out of my loneliness a fellowship is formed for so many people.”

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KathyL
KathyL
11 days ago

I loved the song as soon as i heard it, so much emotion. It was lovely. I play it every day, it puts me into a good place. The song won Eurovision for me. Take care.

Whisker
Whisker
1 month ago

Andreas is a WINNER!

Roodi
Roodi
1 month ago

He will qualify

Jesper Hjellnes
Jesper Hjellnes
1 month ago

Andreas is an amazing person and as I’m a cat lover myself, I definitely know how amazing our pets really are <3 I remember when I had been at hospital for several weeks, and I came home and my cats almost seemed like they wanted to eat me up cause they were so happy that I was back home. I know Tix will make us Norwegians proud at ESC, he already has thousands of fans here at home

Lucie Zápotocná
Lucie Zápotocná
1 month ago

I so happy he’s won MGP because if he didn’t I would never discover him as an artist…I wish Norway and Andreas the best of luck from the Czech Republic!

Frisian esc
Frisian esc
1 month ago

And this is Freggel. He is the cray cray one. Has a fetish for boxes and he really enjoys destroying your hands… out of love of course.

Una
Una
1 month ago
Reply to  Frisian esc

Awwwwww!

Frisian esc
Frisian esc
1 month ago

Since this is a cat appreciation post lets share our own! 😀
This is my old boy Mika. Yes he wants all the attention and he’ll scream for it

Jimmy Smit
Jimmy Smit
1 month ago
Reply to  Frisian esc

Aww very cute, Frisian 🙂

Una
Una
1 month ago
Reply to  Frisian esc

“Ma olen siin!!” He looks so proper though in this picture 🙂 What a joy!!

Diamond
Diamond
1 month ago
Reply to  Frisian esc

My boy Felix has been my mental support for almost 5 years, until the February 3rd 2021 when he unexpectedly passed away and until this day we dont know why. It just suddenly happened. I was struggling with a severe anxiety and panic attacks at that time and his loss just hit the final nail into the coffin when I really thought life makes no sense. Few days later, I discovered Andreas. And thanks to him, his story and music I managed to get through it all. Mental health is a serious topic and many people still dont find it… Read more »

Frisian esc
Frisian esc
1 month ago
Reply to  Diamond

What a cute cat! I’m sorry for your loss. It sucks when they pass away so unsuspectingly

Lucie Zápotocná
Lucie Zápotocná
1 month ago
Reply to  Diamond

Unfortunately I’m struggling with anxiety and panic attacks too so I know very well what are you talking about.

Frisian esc
Frisian esc
1 month ago
Reply to  Frisian esc

Haha yea he’s good at that

Aeria
Aeria
1 month ago

I generally think most KEiiNO stans have put their imaginary pitchforks down by now. I think TIX is a very down to earth man, and deserves more respect than he gets from fans. And yes, cats really are wonderful xD

Okan idu?
Okan idu?
1 month ago
Reply to  Aeria

Nope, Knowing every song, Keiino was a guaranteed top 5 and probably a winner. This won’t be in the final despite how many sob stories they are pushing.

Roodi
Roodi
1 month ago
Reply to  Okan idu?

Keino will be placing last in the semi Norway made a good choice

Lucie Zápotocná
Lucie Zápotocná
1 month ago

I can’t even say how much I’m sorry that this happened to him…I’m so glad Findus was at the right time at the right place…none of my friends understand that I have problems, it’s just me, I was so scared …these sentences feel so horribly familiar to me

Last edited 1 month ago by Lucie Zápotocná
Matthew ESC
Matthew ESC
1 month ago

How many sob story articles do I have to read about TIX? Before it was sad but now its becoming clear its all for attention.

Kosey
Kosey
1 month ago
Reply to  Matthew ESC

Let’s hope you don’t work in mental health support Matthew.

Roodi
Roodi
1 month ago
Reply to  Matthew ESC

say what you want about Tix but he is succesfull he is a superstar in Norway and also a very succesfull songwriter he wrote for Ava Max and Flo Rida he does not need ESC but he will participate why? Because he want to give a message to Europe.

Nancy G
Nancy G
1 month ago

AH! I am so glad this has English subtitles now. Thank you!