Could you pass the tissue? Wiwi is still devastated that Slovakia’s Kristina didn’t make the final. Sure, she was nervous and her vocals weren’t as strong as they normally are. But her routine was among the most original, she managed to make Enya-style music sound cool, and she had a fantastic back-up singer wrapped in white chiffon singing hallelujuh. How could you diss her like this, Europe? How could you?
I point the finger firmly at the former Soviet bloc. Russia’s Peter Naltich does not deserve a place in the final. His song Lost and Forgotten deserves to be both lost and forgotten. It was three minutes of “I want to kill myself” and “Do you have any Prozac?” The cheap staging—what was up with him holding that photograph?—and monotony of it all made me want to jump off a bridge.
Belarus’ 3 + 2, another surprise qualifier, doesn’t deserve to perform on Saturday, either. I’ll be the first to admit that they’re an attractive group of people. But the song is classic cheese with no meaning and really bad English (“Heartfully just wait for it.” WTF?? I’m fairly certain “heartfully” isn’t a word.)
Anyway, hallo Germany! Dobry vecher Moscow! It’s Wiwi calling. I’m here with the results of Wiwi’s voting.
12 points go to…..ICELAND!
Hera Bjork really worked it last night. Let’s face it: she’s a bigger girl so she was never going to do back-flips or splits. But she managed to make simple staging interesting. It was by far the classiest, most professional act of the evening. And that voice—oh that voice! It was like that volcano was erupting again, and it was just as hot.
11 points go to …..SERBIA!
I know Eurovision doesn’t assign 11 points, but I just had to. In an earlier post, I questioned the suitability of this song. But after seeing it on stage, I’m absolutely in love with it. From the pink shoes to the Balkan-style street dance, Milan Stankovic gave his act a ton of personality. LOVE IT.
10 points go to…..SLOVAKIA!
Kristina, I’m still bewildered that Europe snubbed you like this. I think that they’re just afraid of plants that dance and trees that look like muscular back-up dancers. I loved your staging, and I love you. Wiwi got ya back, boo!
8 points go to….MOLDOVA!
Wiwi was a little nervous when the saxophone player had an eruption in his pants—those hips would not stop shaking—and he needs the fiddle player to slow his roll when he runs down the runway. But I was pleasantly surprised with how in-tune Olia and the blond guy were. This was a really memorable performance! So much so that I forgot about all the bad Eurovision English.
7 points go to….GREECE!
I’ve written a lot about how sexual I think this act is. But even with perfectly-sculpted back-up dancers getting down on it, I couldn’t stop focusing on Giorgos Alkaios. He looked so confident on stage, he delivered his lyrics with power, and the bridge—which featured the lyra player, Giorgos beating the drums and a “rewind” sequence—was pure brilliance!
6 points go to….BELGIUM!
In an earlier post I called Tom Dice boring. But now I just think he’s sweet. At times he seems to whisper, but on the whole I was with him from start to finish. He’s a real threat to win this on Saturday. Watch out Safura!
5 points go to….BOSNIA AND HERZEGOVINA!
Vukasin Brajic, who does a mean impersonation of Kylie Minogue, delivered the darkest performance of the night. And that was spot on given that his song was about the thunder and lightening of a troubled relationship. He did rock with class and his sound really stands out against all these bland ballads. Awesome.
4 points go to….ALBANIA
Juliana was singing about her love of Jesus Christ. Now, Wiwi is not the most religious person, but he was totally feeling something spiritual during her techno him. Loves it!
3 points go to…PORTUGAL!
You’re adorable, Felipa.
2 points go to …MALTA!
It’s a shame you didn’t qualify. Your voice is better than your placement. I blame the man dressed as a bird. That was kind of scary.
1 point goes to …LATVIA!
You remind me of an adorable Chihuahua wearing a blonde wig.