Earlier today the Wiwi Jury—our in-house panel of musical unprofessionals—stripped down to our panties and jumped in the Blue Lagoon, rubbing waters rich in silica and sulphur all over our bodies. After we toweled off sat down to review Pollapönk’s Eurovision song “No prejudice”. Did we get into the punk vibe? Or were we left feeling that we had been punked? Read on to find out…
Bogdan: Björk once said that everyone in Iceland is in a punk band. It’s no surprise then that one of them could win Söngvakeppnin. This was Pollapönk’s lucky year. Now, the song is not that bad and kudos to its message of inclusiveness, but I fear it’s too jokey for Eurovision 2014. It sounds like a joke, it looks like a joke and I’m afraid Europe doesn’t have the Icelandic sense of humour to give the boys the ticket to the Grand Final and send the Russian twins home. How great would that be, though?
Padraig: Eurovision is often marketed as the continent’s biggest family show. Note not adult, not teenage, not kids. Family. The distinction is slight, but important. Unfortunately, the Icelandic public seem to have missed it, sending us this ramshackle bunch of pre-school rockers. Fair enough the song is fun and dare I say it, rather catchy, but after 3 minutes it’s hard not to feel like you’ve been whacked over the head with a guitar until equality rainbows are streaming out your ears. Subtle this is not.
Deban: “No Prejudice” presents a positive message wrapped in pure trash. At 01.40 mins into the track, it’s easy to see where their inspiration comes from. Clearly, Pollaponk have not composed this entry with victory in mind. As this is likely to stall in the semis, now, shut up and let me go!
Angus: It might sound moderately better in English but there’s no getting away from the tracksuits. Those are an early 00s hangover that should have been left to burn and die in 2001. The dated pop-rock sound should also have been left to wither away there too. It’s an honest message, though, and Iceland gets a full point from me for throwing shade at trigonometry.
Vebooboo: Maybe my ear is unrefined, but this reminds me so much of Greece’s “Alcohol is Free”. That being said, at least the lyrics are slightly more inspirational. I mean, who wouldn’t love a message about no prejudices? Oh wait, most of the world LOL. But seriously, this is a pretty catchy tune with an ensemble of Skittles-coloured artists. So get with diversity and taste the rainbow.
Katie: Oh, here we go. It’s the Wiggles on steroids! And what are they singing about? Prejudice. Brace yourselves folks… Weirdly though, they’re right about what they’re saying, even if they do shout it in a rather intimidating manner. I really don’t understand the need for such an animated video too, does everything need to be so psychedelic? I think I’ve learned not to ask with these guys. They really are something else. That being said, I do hope they take those rainbow flags in Copenhagen and rub them in the faces of all those nasty Russian government people a la Krista Siegfrids. Let’s just hope Turkey doesn’t spit out some sour grapes again. Hopefully everyone will be chanting the chorus across Europe and listening to their message! Just, chant it a bit more calmly than they do.
Ramadan: I wasn’t a fan of their NF this year, and the same goes for this song, which can best be described as a turd. It gives me a headache and I’ll be pressing mute during the semi-final. Even the first first version of the Ukrainian song is better than this.
Anthony: After Iceland gave us the beautiful and talented Yohanna, I never thought I’d see the day when Iceland would stoop so low. While their decision to sing in English makes the entry more understandable, Pollapönk overall look and sound like a far less insane version of Estonia’s Winny Puhh from last year. Judging from the group’s multi-coloured suits, it looks like we’ve got ourselves a very early contender for this year’s Barbara Dex Award. To paraphrase the classic Only Fools and Horses quote: Iceland, you Pollaplönker!
Billy: These guys are voiceless and out of tune throughout the entire song. They may look funny, but they will go unnoticed—even in the rainbow suits. What’s worse? At least the studio version is less terrifying than the live performance.
Wiwi: I love the anthemic nature of the la-la-las. I love the message of tolerance. And above all I love these lyrics: “I may stutter when I speak but you don’t need to call me a freak.” That said, this is more after-school-special than primetime viewing, and the group totally loses me in the bridge. I can tolerate a lot, but not three minutes of this.
James L: 1/10
Maxim Montana: 8/10
William C: 4.9/10
The highest and lowest scores are removed before calculating the final score. We have dropped a low of 0 and a high of 8.
The Wiwi Jury Verdict: 2.85/10
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