Eurovision is long and our bladders are small. So as a public service to all y’all in Eurovisionland, we asked our readers to vote for the songs that give you the best opportunity to use the toilet. wiwibloggs’ readers cast a total of 4,843 votes in less than 24 hours, and we can now reveal the results. It’s potty time!

A whopping 12% of you believe that Armenia’s Dorians should finish last, and that viewers should head to the urinals when they take the stage. They were surprise qualifiers from the second semi-final, so we’re not exactly surprised by your reaction. Armenia finished dead last in our fan poll, and 24th out of 26 in our Wiwi Jury rankings for the final.

Hungary’s ByeAlex—the dude who appears to have taken barbituates ahead of his act—came second with 8.67% of all votes. Surprisingly, Denmark’s Emmelie de Forest—the runaway favourite according to our compilation of all polls and oddstables, is in third position. Looks like some of wiwibloggs’ readers have a bone to pick with the front-runner.

Azerbaijan, Romania, Moldova, Lithuania, the United Kingdom, Norway and Greece round out the Top 10. Once again it seems like bad blood motivated these results. I know I’ll be glued to the TV during each of those acts (even if Bonnie Tyler is a total train wreck).

Which acts will YOU be skipping tonight?

Love, Team Wiwi

Complete Results

Contestant Votes %
1. Armenia: Dorians with “Lonely Planet” 566 11.69%
2. Hungary: ByeAlex with “Kedvesem” 420 8.67%
3. Denmark: Emmelie de Forest with “Only Teardrops” 387 7.99%
4. Azerbaijan: Farid Mammadov with “Hold Me” 381 7.87%
5. Romania: Cezar Ouatu with “It’s My Life” 349 7.21%
6. Moldova: Aliona Moon with “A Million” 246 5.08%
7. Lithuania: Andrius Pojavis with “Something” 202 4.17%
8. United Kingdom: Bonnie Tyler with “Believe in Me” 174 3.59%
9. Norway: Margaret Berger with “I Feed You My Love” 173 3.57%
10. Greece: Koza Mostra & Agathonas Iakovidis with “Alcohol is Free” 168 3.47%
11. Belgium: Roberto Bellarosa with “Love Kills” 149 3.08%
12. Spain: El Sueno de Morfeo with “Contigo hasta el final” 146 3.01%
13. Belarus: Alyona Lanskaya with “Solayoh” 142 2.93%
14. Finland: Krista Siegfrids with “Marry Me” 129 2.66%
15. The Netherlands: Anouk with “Birds” 119 2.46%
16. Iceland: Eyþór Ingi Gunnlaugsson with “Ég á Líf” 118 2.44%
17. France: Amandine Bourgeois with “L’enfer et moi” 112 2.31%
18. Malta: Gianluca Bezzina with “Tomorrow” 111 2.29%
19. Ukraine: Zlata Ognevich with “Gravity” 107 2.21%
20. Estonia: Birgit Oigemeel with “Et uus saaks alguse” 105 2.17%
21. Russia: Dina Garipova with “What If” 103 2.13%
22. Georgia: Nodi & Sophie with “Waterfall” 102 2.11%
23. Sweden: Robin Stjernberg with “You” 100 2.06%
24. Ireland: Ryan Dolan with “Only Love Survives” 93 1.92%
25. Italy: Marco Mengoni with “L’essenziale” 88 1.82%
26. Germany: Cascada with “Glorious” 53 1.09%

Photo: Dennis Stachel (EBU)

You can read our song reviews on the Wiwi Jury page. Then read the lyrics to this year’s entries on our contestants page. And then vote for your favourite contestants in our various polls.

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John
John
8 years ago

It is funny that real loser Ireland finished 24th in this poll