Being an avid Eurovision fan from the United States, I usually find myself pondering several hypothetical questions about a possible run at the contest. Now, I am perfectly aware that it’s impossible and will never happen, but it’s fun to think “What if?” sometimes. The one question that I have thought about the most is without a doubt, “Who would we send if by some miracle we were allowed to participate?” And despite how easy it may seem to come up with a name, it’s actually more complicated than it seems.

When thinking about participants at Eurovision, there doesn’t seem to be a set pattern regarding who a nation sends. For example, the U.K. appears to be in a rut, sending washed up has-been cronies like Engelbert Humperdinck despite having a flurry of hip artists to choose from, while San Marino is having a love affair (a perfectly understandable one in my opinion) with Valentina Monetta, recently announcing her as their representative for the third year in a row. Other nations have varying outputs as well, ranging from unknown artists, to past winners, to national and international stars. Keeping all of this in mind, it’s a tad daunting to think of someone we could send, considering the size of our music industry.

The one thing that you have to keep in mind when pondering an American representative is fairness. For example, it might be easy to just spit out names like Britney Spears or Beyonce, however that wouldn’t be a fair choice to other nations. Most of our popular musicians already have a dominant chart presence across Europe, and if they were sent to Eurovision they would likely massacre the televote. Or, they might pull a Cascada and tank, Eurovision often proves to be surprising in that manner. If they participated, the U.S. would need to send one of its more “low key” artists, ones that have a chart presence yet aren’t “A-List”, at least in Europe. I have a few personal choices in mind, and I’m going to try to touch a few different genres.

Dev
If the U.S. went the dance route, I think Dev would make a good choice. Her feature on Far East Movement’s “Like a G6” launched her into the public eye, and she has had some lingering popularity since then, with her single “In The Dark” doing well in the charts. Her pumping beats and heavy bass would make for a very fun entry, however this might be a risky move, as dance entries are known to be unpredictable in terms of final results.

“In The Dark” would be an excellent electro-pop entry.

Alanis Morissette
If the U.S. wanted a more “rocker” approach, selecting Alanis Morissette would be an AMAZING choice. Alanis hails from Canada, however she also has American citizenship. She had her career peak in the 90’s, but still has a presence in the music scene. An entry reminiscent of material on her masterpiece “Jagged Little Pill” would do extremely well I believe, Alanis has a knack for screaming about douche-bag men in key, and her quirky attitude would win people over easily.

Is she as mad as Amandine? I predict mic-stand massacre.

Beth Ditto
If the U.S. went with the “pretty much unknown” approach, I’d love for Beth Ditto to be chosen. “I Wrote The Book” is her only “hit”, and it was essentially a sleeper hit at that, mainly charting in Europe (which is good in this case). Despite its moderate popularity, the song itself is VERY good. It has a very catchy rhythm, the chorus gets into your head and sticks, and Beth is known to be unpredictable so the stage show would likely be memorable as well. Plus, I like how she embraces her body image, she’s proud of herself, and I respect her a lot!

Beth Ditto’s “divaesque” disco voice and sound would be a cool addition to the mix of (tired) ballads and schlager.

Miranda Lambert
Country is one of the dominant genres over here, and if we took that path, Miranda Lambert would make a fine choice. She’s one of the most popular country artists in the States, however in Europe she hasn’t had the same popularity. Her distinctive twang and attitude would bring something fresh and original to Eurovision, and she might pull a “disappearing guitar” à la Anna Bergendahl. (That always baffled me!) Texas Lightning did do country in 2006, but that was a stereotypical, fake southern drawl, wild-wild west size mess.

Miranda doesn’t play around, and has powerhouse vocals that work in all the right ways.

Honorable mentions (I can’t have a novel for an article): Esperanza Spalding, Sharon Van Etten, Frank Ocean, Brandy.

What do you think? If my dream came true and we got to compete, would you like any of these artists to go, or who else would you want to represent the good old US of A? Let us know with a comment!

Photo: escunited.com

Zachary Thomas is Wisconsin-based correspondent for WiwiBloggs.com. Follow him on Twitter @CheerZach. Then follow the team from wiwibloggs.com on Twitter at @wiwibloggs to keep up with the latest Eurovision news and gossip!

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Sannerz
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Sannerz

My god, this are horrendous choices. Being another American Eurovision fan here, I can think of much better, lesser known artists. All four of the genres chosen here have failed more often than not in Eurovision.

CookyMonzta
Guest
CookyMonzta

By the way, the fact that it is a Euro contest has not kept Americans from competing. Katrina Leskanich, lead singer (from Kansas) with the Waves, home-based in the U.K., became the first American to win. And 2 months ago we saw Hannah Mancini (from California) singing for Slovenia (where she works).

CookyMonzta
Guest
CookyMonzta

Though it would certainly raise the curiosity of American viewers who have watched this contest before, I think artist representation in this contest should remain strictly European… …However, it would not surprise me if suggests letting the biggest economic power from each of the other 5 continents deliver points to the ESC participants, despite being ineligible to send a performer: North America: Obviously the United States; South America: Brazil; Asia: China; Oceania: Australia; Africa: South Africa (which could soon be overtaken by Nigeria). Who do you think the U.S. would have given 12 points to? Where would Brazil’s 12 points… Read more »

Arianna
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Arianna

Interesting article ^^ Alanis is like our Anouk!

Tiggeh
Guest
Tiggeh

I could see Adam Lambert represent USA. He has the camp appeal.

chris
Guest

Narrow minded people. It was a hypothetical question. The US would not enter the Eurovision. They would be stupid. And considering that we now have countries such as Israel, Azerbaijan and Armenia are in the contest – you can’t use that EUROvision logic any more. (Tunisia tried to enter; Morocco had 1 guest appearance – further makes you arguements dumb.)

Julian
Guest
Julian

Not sure but a US artist can already represent one of the Eurovision participant countries. A good way to have a glimpse of how popular US is in Europe. As to a US artist actually representing US it may not be in his best advantage.

Emily
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Emily

I really hope America won’t eventually be allowed to participate in EUROVISION. Firstly, there would be a riot about the artist and the song.And plus, we would totally ruin the Contest.
If you think about it, w would be like the UK, complaining about bloc voting.

Jordan
Guest
Jordan

It doesn’t matter if an international artist comes last at Eurovision. They still had more international success than the amateurs lol

David Thielen
Guest

Speaking as an American, first off no American entry in ESC. We already poke our nose into way more than we should around the world.

But if we did, I think what could be amazing is an equivalent of the dream team we had in basket ball the first Olympics that allowed pro athletes. Something like Beyonce & Katy Perry.

Astrikur
Guest
Astrikur

None of them sounds like a eurovision winner to me, Beth Ditto is closest.
I think every country tries to send the best they can.
If UK could send Coldplay or Ireland send U2 i think they would.
In the end it is still about sending the best song with good performance.

JulianaESC
Guest
JulianaESC

I just wanted to point out that Dev had a featuring spot in Eric Saade’s “Hotter than Fire”. As another American Eurovision fan, the thought of who could represent us has crossed my mind a couple of times. Personally I’d pick Lana del Rey or Evanescence.

Anerican Andy
Guest

Unfortunately, I don’t know how well Miranda Lambert would do; country just isn’t as big in Europe. I’ve never heard of Beth Ditto before, but she would be a good choice! Also, Iimagine that whatever station is showing ESC, they’ll use their existing programming. For instance, NBC had apparently bought the rights to have an ESC style show among the States but it was caught up in litigation (which is fine because they we’re going to be stupid and name it “Worldvision”). But, if they were our competing broadcastr, I imagine the winner of the Voice or America’s Got Talent… Read more »

Roby
Guest
Roby

It EUROVISION ! Europa ! No USA!!! 😐

Mateos
Guest
Mateos

I love Miranda!! I love her music and I even imagined once Miranda on the Eurovision stage with the song Fastest Girl In Town!

SQFan
Guest
SQFan

Just remember that Norway (Kurt Nilsen) beat The United States (Kelly Clarkson) during World Idol. Only Norway gave the U.S the highest score (10 points), whilst almost everyone else gave Norway the full 10 points.

Nirgal
Guest
Nirgal

I knew I didn’t like the butterfly, but I didn’t know how much until now…