Here we are again. With PED consuming our lives. Six long months until FiK kicks off again and ushers in the Eurovision season of 2020 and the anticipation of getting the chance to travel to the wonderful Netherlands. Until then, we have to warm ourselves with the memories of an amazing 2019 season.
Again I was forced to stay at home and look at the glorious bubble from the outside. Heartbreaking! But once I finished crying myself to sleep and trying to convince myself that Tel Aviv wasn’t all that, I decided I could easily drink a Mimosa on the beach here at home, and dance my ass off until the break of dawn. I just needed to find a beach (still looking btw), learn how to make a Mimosa (thank God for Google) and stay up all night (tricky since I usually fall asleep before midnight) and I was ready for the epic party that is Eurovision. Spoiler alert! None of this actually worked, except for the Mimosa part — I’m now the master of Mimosas. So I went for the next best thing. Making a list.
And off she goes…
Yes, it is time for that pesky annual PED list of mine again, and boy, were there a few plot twists this year. The “Keyser Soze” type of plot twists! Last year, Italy’s Ermal Meta topped the list without so much as breaking a sweat, and I do miss him like crazy. But new year, new hope and all that. Eurovision 2019 was indeed packed with testosterone and an adrenalin filled rollercoaster ride of emotions, some unexpected as I pointed out earlier. Without further ado, here is my “5 hottest guys of Eurovision 2019” list, and, again, a few honourable mentions.
#5 – Joci Pápai – Hungary
Joci is just too damn hot for his own good. So kind, so lovely, so down to earth and attractive in every single aspect. And his presence just fills a room. Joci has that “strong, yet soft” thing about him that dazzles all women (and men) from the ages of 5-95. He is a Hungarian dreamboat, nay, he is the Hungarian dreamboat and we all can not but giggle like little schoolgirls at a Justin Bieber concert when he’s around. Just ask anyone to describe Joci in one word , and they tell you the exact same thing. “Dayum!”
#4 – Chingiz Mustafayev – Azerbaijan
I might come off as a little bit shallow now, but I can live with that, because I just adore a hunk of a manly man with chesthairs! Can’t help it. Chingiz is simply strikingly handsome, and has that “hot damn” factor in abundance. We all know that it is rude to catcall someone, male or female, but it’s nearly impossible not to give out some sort of a sound when he is around. God almighty, what on earth do they put in the water in Azerbaijan? Oh yes Chingiz, you flex those muscles. And do it without your shirt on. Oh, you want me to shut up about it? I most certainly will not! I will instead drown in your eyes for I can’t, for the life of me, think of a better way to go.
#3 – Oto Nemsadze – Georgia
This was the first unexpected twist of events. I had another one locked down for the bronze, but then suddenly Oto came along, out of bloody nowhere, I might add, and he was so passionate, raw and angry that I almost choked on my red wine. He completely turned my entire existence inside out, and made me question everything I thought I knew so far..but in a good way. *swoons in Georgian*. So, if Oto ever feels the need to come over to Iceland and growl an emotional tune up on some glacier, I shall gladly escort him there. I shall escort him wherever the hell he wants to go, for I enjoy travelling and I also enjoy a raspy voiced Georgian who rocks a manbun and brings along a men’s choir. Just generally speaking of course….
#2 – Sebastian Rejman – Finland
At this day and age, finding an eligible man at the right age in Eurovision is tricky. By that, I mean that I like them to not have been still in kindergarten learning their A,B, C’s when I was busy doing Tequila shots whilst celebrating the Olsen Brothers win back in the days. Sebastian Rejman fits that category, and he does so perfectly! A man’s man with wide shoulders, gorgeous eyes and oh so dedicated to his family. Be still my beating heart! And he’s from Finland too. Double whammy, y’all! I will never look away from Sebastian, despite him wearing those….joots?…beans?….whatever, I forgive you Sebastian. I forgive everything!
#1 – Jurij Veklenko – Lithuania
The ultimate plot twist of 2019! Jurij DEFINITELY changed the game at the very last minute. His amazing eyes staring directly into my soul, his lovely smile, which immediately melted my cold and cynical heart and his sizzling appearance which left me, let’s be honest, just a little bit dizzy and confused. What just happened? Why did it take me so long to realize how unbelievably hot he is? What is going on? Have I had too many Mimosas? Nope, this has nothing to do with alcohol and everything to do with the concrete fact that Jurij is just sexy as hell, and he took me completely by surprise. And I adore surprises!
Sergey Lazarev – Russia
Yes, I’d like to order one big and lovely white Russian please. And make sure his name is Sergey Lazarev, because I just love him forever and ever and ever and ever and…..
All the men of Hatari – Iceland
We have Matthías the leader, Klemens the sweetheart, Einar the silent one, and Andrean, who is simply so beautiful that he makes me want to cry. Four different individuals who together make the perfect quartet of gorgeous men. Já takk.
Miki – Spain
Puedes rallar queso en sus abdominales! Dios mio!
Victor Crone – Estonia
He appeals to everyone. My 9 year old offspring muttered the words: “Errrmagrrd, he’s so cute!” when she saw him. Yes, my darling child. Spot on!
So, that is the 2019 list summed up, with the honourable mentions and deepest respect and love for the men who did not make it on this particular list. You guys still rock. Hopefully I won’t receive too much hate mail because of it. Kidding! We’re all in this together, each of us daring to dream in our own special way, right?