The Wiwi Jury — our in-house team of music unprofessionals — is reviewing and rating the 37 competing songs in Eurovision 2024. Next we review Finland, who have chosen Windows95Man with “No Rules!”.
Are we living our ’90s fantasy? Read on to find out!
Windows95Man – “No Rules!” (Finland Eurovision 2024)
Review: Windows95Man – “No Rules!”
Lucy: I really don’t want to dislike “No Rules!” as much as I do, especially as a ’90s baby who cackled at the denim egg the first time I saw it. But I just can’t quite get on board with the rest of the humour element behind the Windows95Man character — it’s too “hahaha look at me I’m funny,” whereas other songs have a bit more craft to the novelty. The song isn’t enough to save itself either, with little to be enjoyed in the three minutes. Still, they seem like fun guys and it isn’t my dead last of the year.
Score: 2
Tom: After last year it was always going to be difficult for the Finns to bring something with the same hype – and they have done a decent job here. They will bring the fun and games to Malmö! Alongside the pulsating verses there is an irresistibly catchy chorus to match. The audience will have this earworm in their heads until next year. If they nail the vocals on the night this will get a Top 10 finnish … pardon the pun.
Score: 8
Sebastian: Sorry to say, but this performance is what almost ruined Eurovision in the early 2000s. I can hardly comment on the song because it barely has one. The visual gag of a man sans underpants is nauseating and embarrassing — and the ridicule it brings tarnishes the reputation that Eurovision has tried to build. While it does sound like a track that could be featured in Will Ferrell’s Eurovision Netflix movie — which was wildly popular — it also reduced the Eurovision brand to a bit of a gag. The average Eurovision viewer on the night will, no doubt, reduce the whole contest to this freakshow.
Score: 2
Jonathan: “No Rules!” and I have a love-hate relationship. Sometimes it feels like the cringiest song to have ever graced the Eurovision stage. Yet, at other points, I just let go and enjoy the fun of it all. There is a charm to be found here amongst the chaos, and once you find it the song becomes both entertaining and amusing. Nevertheless, Finland still ranks as the least engaging of all the ‘fun’ entries this year. Acts such as Croatia, Estonia, and the Netherlands all have some depth to them that speaks to the viewer. On the contrary, “No Rules!” feels like it’s trying to be quirky for the sake of it without any real purpose.
Score: 6
Finland Eurovision 2024 ranking
In the Eurovision 2024 Wiwi Jury, we have 17 jurors but only have room for four reviews. The remaining scores are below:
|
Antranig: 2 Cinan: 5 Deban: 5.5 Georgia: 1.5 Pablo: 3.5 Ron: 6 Ruxandra: 7.5 |
Scarlett: 2 Simon: 4 Suzanne: 8 Tomas: 5 William: 5.5 Youyou: 5.5 |
We have removed the highest and lowest scores prior to calculating the average. This is to remove outliers and potential bias. We have removed a low of 1.5 and a high of 8.
Wiwi Jury verdict: 4.63/10
What do you think of Finland’s Eurovision 2024 entry? Share your own score and review for Windows95Man’s “No Rules!” below!
Windows95man’s trade mark are his jorts or his jeans shorts. The punchline is that he’s reunited with them at the end. Sometimes things are so unfunny that they are funny. Good luck to Finland and I’m sure they’ll qualify. Not much joy from the juries I expect but could well be 100+ from the televote! I expect deep down we’ll all be looking forward to this one.
FINLAND – Kaarija winning the televote last year was a crowning moment for the recent Finnish ESC history, and it certainly helped No Rules win UMK this year. But I would say that the roots for it have been planted even earlier. Back in 2020, because of the jury vote, Aksel’s ballad won over Erika Vikman’s schlager banger, and from that moment on, the Finnish public has one rule – the loudest song wins! No matter how well-composed or well-performed the slower songs on UMK are, they never got much attention. In a way, I understand. Ever since implementing this,… Read more »
This is really not my cup of tea. The genre in and of itself doesn’t match my tastes, the staging and the guys’ personalities come across as immature and dumb, and I’m somewhat agitated that thanks to the absence of juries, this will steal a spot in the grand final of another act I think would be more deserving of it. While vocally it’s… alright I guess, the problem just lies in the overall package. No matter how well they perform this live, I’m never gonna end up a fan of this entry. On paper it already rubs me off… Read more »
Given Finland’s televote-heavy weighting in their national selection, I always expected the heavily-touted “Paskana” to fall short. I did not, however, believe that the Finnish public would put good taste to the side quite to the extent that “No Rules” would actually be the selection for Malmö. This is a heavy-handed, tacky revisit of the worst elements of 90’s Eurodance. The piano opening is all too familiar to those of us who grew up during the decade and the drum machine, without any sort of variation across the three minutes, is depressingly authentic to the genre, too. One of the… Read more »
We know how fans react and what they react to; Was Jorge González (Benidorm 2024) disgusting too, or is just that some of you are just going for the looks – normalize body positivity.
Not everyone has to be “fit” to be appreciated, but it’s the appearance many of you seem to point out constantly.
Sebastian who the hell are you to talk about Eurovision like that? For your information – tons of people in Europe love this kind of stuff, especially in Eastern Europe. In fact they did great in the 2000s where Eurovision was more popular and watched than it is today – thanks to all the woke American/Australian/British fake fans who know nothing about Europeans and want to westernise (low key colonise) everything they see because they are good at nothing else. Thank you.
This is the equivalent of an open letter to Wiwibloggs, and to ESC fans who follow this blog. Since this is the “No Rules” post, perhaps this might be the appropriate setting to address “Hurricane,” and ask what we should be doing (or not doing) about commenting on this entry once ESC rehearsals start on 27 April. For those fans who have previously asked me: The reason I have not posted a full review of the song on any platform is because I have been told that doing so would be a highly contentious issue, rightly or wrongly. None of… Read more »
Ignore it. To give it attention is to say “I can’t hear the sounds of screaming children over the beat”. The only thing to do is ignore.
Follow your heart, your intuition… it will lead you in the right direction!*
Don’t worry about what others will think. You do you, let them do them. There will never be consensus.
*To quote Jewel
There wont be much to write about anyways… It is already decided that the israeli delegation wont take part in any activities, nor interviews before or during the rehearsal shows and esc week. So this makes it easy for fan sites to just ignore the entry… But Of course, when discussing who they PREDICT who will qualify from semi2 they cannot ignore the country, also during result section of the grand final they cannot ignore it either…
But if YOU want to make an in depth analysis of the entry yourself that should be up to you yourself!
I would love to read Suzanne’s opinion on this song. I can see the merit of fun nostalgia for the sake of fun, except that this entry is clearly performed as a parody of the 90s, yet it somehow misfires and is a little bit too close to the edge of bad taste. The other problem with “No Rules” is that it is clearly the weakest 90s-derived entry this year next to Austria, the Netherlands and (arguably) Croatia. The ironic thing about a song called “No Rules” is that it actually follows a lot of rules. This song is obviously… Read more »
It’s okay to for be a flasher? No rules.
I remember there were a lot of flashers at live sports events in the UK in the 1980s and 1990s. I didn’t understand it then, and I still don’t understand it now. No rules though, indeed. Just anarchy – maybe that’s the point of this song? But why choose Eurodance for that?
Anarchy, yeah, that was the word I used way down in the comments below. I think it’s a reach to suggest it is somehow a message of self/acceptance and not giving into peer pressure. That very well maybe the intent, but for me it does not all translate well. It is a giant fail if that’s the aim Mr. 95Man was going for.
He may as well have a video of him speeding down a highway with no seatbelt. I mean, there needs to SOME rules.
To be
Should the song be renamed No Social Rules! for you to understand, that rules and laws are not the same thing?
Yes. Yes, it should.
Lucky for you, there is a reaction video by Suzanne on Wiwiblog’s YouTube channel.
The song is not a parody, Windows95Man loves the 90’s. And he is absolutely not against wearing his magic shorts, but he is of course born without them. In my opinion that makes a lot more sense than your idea of two straight guys pretending to be gay on stage.
Thank you. 🙂
Now come on, jury. It’s not that bad.
yes, ok 1 point.
It is
That score is really harsh. There are worse entries than this.
Every time someone starts talking about “reputation of Eurovision”, 00’s being dark era and stuff in the context like this, it’s already a skip for me. “Reputation” among who? Joy-killing people that say things like that? Then, I’m glad the “reputation of Eurovision” is bad among them, I wouldn’t really enjoy too many people like that among devoted Eurovision fans. And why do you all think you’re supposed to laugh about him being with no pants or appearing from jean egg and just you seriousness and high IQ don’t allow you that? It’s mainly just for entertainment, making you move… Read more »
This is just cuckoo in every single way, and this has got me eating. For me it gets me wanting to sing and dance and just be free of all rules! Massive gimmick but this one I do like. I enjoy it when it’s on.
Score 7.5/10
Hang on Lucy, you gave a two here but on ESC Insight jury #4 you called it a hit!
Hits aren’t always quality, to be fair.
I still remember Mr. Blobby (UK Christmas Number One, 1993.) Oh dear.
No rules, indeed!
Watch this place top 10 because it’s an absolute banger and fun time. Art comes in many forms, whether it’s an emotional ballad about trauma or overcoming the challenges of life, or it can be a fun time about how life has no rules really and what brings you joy is yours to determine.
? don’t care about song that much but ? am disgusted by performance, totally unpleasant to see sweating men in underwear and people consider it funny? Wtf and this is gonna qualify over Portugal or Azerbaijan?..
I compare the Finish act of ESC24 with the one of Croatia last years, Let3.
That crazy, out of the box and colorfull act got me straight by the b@lls.
I loved it and rooted for them. Glad about their results.
Tho I have cutted my old jeans off just too high and my b@lls are hanging out this year. Im not grabbed by Windows95.
For me this is a def NQ.
Croatia, Estonia and the NLD’s more or less in the same genre have a much better total package.
In the televoting of both semies I think BL will win SF1 and Joost SF2.
In SF2 it could be a uphill battle with Nemo?
Very interesting what they will bring to the table. High expectations from my side.
As I also have for Bambie Thug.
My hopes are for all the public, artists and delegations in being safe.
These are difficult times.
Have a great ESC24 edition. In 3 weeks it will be over.
“Its now or never”.
from the NLD’s
Are you saying that you don’t want it to qualify or that you think it won’t? It’s absolutely qualifying, whether you like the song or not.
Lmao really
If I saw this song in youtube or was sent to me in DMs as a funny thing, I’d enjoy it. But Eurovision is a different context and just makes it appear unfitting.
No fitting is needed, the shorts are made for measure!
100% on the contrary
I don’t understand why this and Estonia elicits such rage in people. They’re unfunny comedy songs. I really feel nothing towards them other than knowing that they barely register on my radar.
It poses a challenge to people who are used to simple melodies. Many people are annoyed at the prospect of leaving their comfort zone and exploring something new.
The comment sections on posts about the Netherlands are looking more and more like the winner of Eurovision comment sections every day.
Oop wrong post I commented on my bad!
The amount of tasteless people in this world scares me. Thank you Suzanne. Pity it didn’t matter in the end.
The absolute bottom – Finland 1/12
I am the Absolute Bottom.
Comedy is fluid and this one is forcing it downstream…
4th place – Finland Hate my opinion or the song as much as you want, it won’t change the fact this is one of the songs that most stands out this year. Visually, it brings such party and fun vibes and it literally screams Eurovision in your face. Vocally – I don’t think it even matters that much. Remember that this is a TV show and yes, everyone sings, but it isn’t a competition of “who can sing better”. I’m 100% sure this will qualify and I also think that it will definitely finish on the left side of the… Read more »
After Kaarija wonderful success this is just awful. Like Estonia they have tried to be funny and in this case outrages. But the song is poor and the performance over the top look at me being controversial. No from me
One word: Horrible!!!!!
I think Finland went over the top this time. In a way, maybe it’s a revenge cause they won the public vote last year. I don’t think men’s underwear on stage will be appreciated by the juries. Cha Cha Cha was funny, this year it is when laughing turns into crying.
Why is this not loved as much (if not more) than that Dutch eurotrash?
It’s certainly way, way more pleasing…to these ears, legs etc.
I’m sorry, zero stars.
(I’m not really sorry)
That’s okay. No rules.
Jonas how DARE you!
No rules. That’s how I live my life.
But how Jonas? I have just created a star of toiletpaper with golden sparkles from a nailstudio and it looked splendid.
How nice.
This is a very solid eurodance piece that isn’t even easy to sing, I think they did a great job. Eurofans hate it too much based on its appeal to straight locals.
True that this song is not easy to sing.
Straight locals around here only watch the Eurovision grand final after having had a few drinks.
34) Finland – Oh how the mighty have fallen… DJs in Eurovision rarely ever work for me (with exception of Norway in 2017), and this is another one to add to the pile. I normally love the Finnish folks’ sense of humour, but this one just annoys me more than anything. UMK in general wasn’t great this year (my favourite was never going to win anyway)… oh well. 3.5/10
This gets way too much hate. The song isn’t bad and is quite catchy. The performance is something but I guess you’re either gonna love it or hate it. I have no doubt this will qualify.
IMO this song wouldn’t be so much hated if it had been selected internally. But many fans are angry about Finland’s decision because it wasn’t the best song in their national selection.
It’s fun and uplifting! And I love the lyrics. I do hope the gold thong makes an appearance 😉
The fact that this will qualify…
RIP Paskana .. an easy top10
All I hope for Finland rn is Mirella taking part of UMK next year
Effortlessly, the worst song of the year.
Not when Poland, Israel and Germany exist.
Absolutely diabolical all three.
Oops I meant Czechia not Poland. I am sorry. (Poland blows too, tho.)
Why is this relatively so far up in the odds all of a sudden?? Insane. No signs that this will do good.
And the odds are sleeping on others..
That’s because some other songs are a bit of a snoozefest
I would never ever listen to this outside of Eurovision but for some reason I don’t hate this in the contest. Maybe because there are much worse songs competing. And the Finnish singer can at least sing better than the Croatian guy. However, the Windows 95 guy is just unnecessarily creepy. It deserves to make the final because of the competent singer.
The actual singer should get top billing, whatever his name his. Or even any billing at all.
He makes this sound and look okay which is quite an accomplishment because he is weighed down by his partner. If this bubble here wasn’t blindly hating the entire thing so much, they’d see a hard working vocalist doing a lot of good work.
Yeah, it seems hard to sing. The notes go all over the place, high to low, sustained, little room for breath. This requires a talented singer with a great range and stamina, but for me just makes the songwriter seem like he doesn’t know what he’s doing.
Deservedly last. I don’t want to sea this in the final. Please Finland, you can do much better than this. I hope I can root for you next year.
Well that was harsh, it’s fun and joyful. For me that is Eurovision. Otherwise all countries should send their best opera singers to belt it out. Who would watch that anyway. People take Eurovision to seriously sometimes. Watch Finland Q and than finish higher than some vocaly pretentious songs . And then we will hear complaints from people who don’t know what Eurovision is all about. Thank you Finland for bringing us joy once again, you understood the assignment.
You understand the spirit of Eurovision, yayyy! 😉
Does Windows95Man?
For me, I really enjoy a ‘fun’ song often (Estonia is in my top 3 of the year) but I just don’t like this one so much. For what it’s worth, at LEP they were the nicest act of the year (everyone was nice, but these guys were the sweetest, and really kind to the team!).
21ST PLACE: FINLAND: Well what can one say here? Of course if we judge it song-wise it’s just a happy kinda catchy party song, yet the craziness of the comical live performance actually makes it enjoyable as a guilty pleasure. I think it will be fun during the shows, however the fact that as a standalone song I wouldn’t really listen to it doesn’t let me put it higher in my top. Finland tried to mimic its success from last year by once again trying to do something crazy and of course this year it won’t pay off to the… Read more »
It’s actually Croatia and Netherlands that try to mimic Finlands last year success. But they are far for getting even close to Käärijä’s level.
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3. Finland – Windows 95 Man – No Rules – 9.5/10 – the studio track is a very competent dance track with soaring lyrics and a pulsating beat which encourages confidence in those that might be prone to constraining self-talk. But it is the comic genius of the presentation which elevates this entry to iconic levels. Comedy is very hard to get right as the graveyard of past Eurovision “fun” songs aptly demonstrates, but the tone and timing here is spot on. Henri, Windows95 Man and the briefs are going to win many new admirers.
those ”soaring lyrics” are soo dated though, you can visibly see the mold on them lmao
this encourages confidence like how? encourages me to puke more like
I mean, if we are being pedantic, every poem/lyrical piece in the English language has been written before, the most timeless tend to be the most straightforward. Regarding the confidence piece, a lot of people have anxiety disorders, whether it be OCD, PTSD or a more generalized one, or are perhaps prone to negative self-talk which restricts their ability to live life to the fullest – this restriction is sometimes caused by a perceived set of “rules” that they must follow and imo, this song is for those people – encouragement to say be who you want to be and… Read more »
That is of course a great message, but how apparent is it? Equally, it could seem like an endorsement of sheer anarchy.
Nothing wrong with a bit of anarchy. It changes the flow.
He looks and sounds like a MAGA insurrectionist.
“I don’t care what’s wrong or right”
This reminds me their entry from 2019: a dj riding on a huge 90’s nostalgia wave joined by a singer with questionable vocals. With a fun twist.