Malta Eurovision Song Contest 2018 act Eleanor sings “I took every word you said like a bullet to the head”. And shots certainly were fired with the release of the lyric videos for the 16 competing acts of the Maltese national final.
Fans were quick to notice some of the more memorable lyrics from the competing songs. In less than a month we’ll hear all the songs performed live at the national final, but until then here are nine of the lyrical gems from the Malta Eurovision Song Contest 2018.
1. Aidan – “Old Tony said there’s a new girl in town”
Who, we wonder, is Old Tony? Does he sit around the streets of Valletta with a cigar in one hand, bottle of cheap whiskey in the other, keeping a lookout for new arrivals? Should we alert the authorities?
2. Matthew Anthony – “We don’t cuddle”
If there’s ever been a more devastating sign of the end of a relationship, it’s this. Hugs 2 u, m8.
3. Christabelle – “These demons have broken my goal”
We get what Christabelle is saying, but this sounds like a description of an unexpectedly aggressive game of backyard football.
4. Brooke – “You’re a pack of wolves with a heart of gold”
What does Brooke mean by this? Is she talking about someone who is as vicious as a pack of wolves but unlike wolves this person also has a good-natured heart of gold? Or is she saying the person is like a golden-hearted pack of wolves? Or is Brooke addressing a literal pack of wolves who have somehow acquired an actual heart made of gold? And why a whole pack of wolves? This song asks more questions than it answers.
5. Danica – “I’m bleeding”
Oh babes, sorry to hear that.
6. Brooke – “Yeah, you pack a punch like a wrecking ball”
A literally heavy-handed metaphor if ever there was one. We wonder, does this person and their power fist have a lucrative career in the demolition industry? And is there a tiny naked Miley Cyrus riding on their knuckles?
7. Matthew Anthony – “Does your body still remember my bed?”
Is it a particularly memorable bed? Is it soft yet supportive, with smooth Egyptian cotton sheets? Or is it a lumpy old futon that should have been thrown out years ago? This is important.
8. Miriana – “You like drama”
We’re actually just putting this here for future meme reference.
9. Brooke – “And that shirt won’t get you laid tonight”
That one won’t, but this one might: