Armed with an arsenal of bad lyrics, a tacky dress, and questionable intonation, Alyona Lanskaya has won the right to represent Belarus at Eurovision 2012. A nation should be in mourning.
The 26-year old from Mogliev finished last among Wiwi’s readers in our poll which has been running since New Year’s. But voters in Belarus felt differently, awarding her first place. Litesound, who won Wiwi’s poll, finished in second place. Here’s how the sequins hit the floor when all votes were tallied:
1. All My Life sung by Alyona Lanskaya (L Shirin and J Vashchuk)
2. We Are The Heroes sung by Litesound (Dimitry Kariakin and Vladimir Kariakin)
3. Tell Me Why sung by Gunesh (Isa Melikov and Zahra Badalbetli)
4. Dream sung by Viktoria Aleshko (E Oleinik, S Geraskova and J Bykov) (Fourth Place)
5. The Winner sung by Uzari (Uzari) (Fifth Place)
Alyona Lanskaya seriously needs to work on her pronunciation. Wiwi has been speaking English for 30 years now and he seriously struggled to transcribe the lyrics, which you can read here. Finally figuring those lyrics out wasn’t exactly satisfying. If it weren’t obvious from the melody, this song is three-minutes of cliché. “All my life/ I’ve been waiting for your arms to hold me/ All this time/ I’ve been searching for someone like you.” OMG: Get over it! Oh, wait. She does. “Finally all my dreams coming true/ This is possible only because of you.” Well how convenient.
Pass the bucket. Wiwi needs to vomit.
It’s sad, but Belarus’ 2011 Junior Eurovision contestant (who finished third) is way more talented than this singer. Speaking of Junior Eurovision, why is it that Belarus can produce such strong Junior Eurovision contestants—Ksenia Sitnik and Alexey Zhigalkovich both won that contest—but Belarus can’t even make the semi-finals at the adult contest? Let’s lower the age limit in Minsk so the country’s real talent can shine….